- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I am in your exact situation. I just came back from a bachelorette party this weekend. I obviously had a little too much to drink on one of the nights out. Then bam! The next morning I asked for reassurance all damn day. I feel terrible for constantly asking. Alcohol is so evil!! I truly believe alcohol is a major, if not the main contributor in some themes. If you want to talk I am here.
- Date posted
- 4y
It’s completely understandable why you drink in response to the OCD; alcohol is a relaxant, so it’s no surprise that the OCD retreats after a drink or two (or more)! As you mentioned towards the beginning, substance abuse is not uncommon for those of us struggling with OCD. What’s good is that you’re cognisant enough to recognise that you’re straying in an unhealthy direction, not everybody has that level of insight, so be grateful of that. And it’s also extremely understandable why OCD can latch onto drunk behaviour, because you’re not human if you haven’t embarrassed yourself while drunk, I definitely have (multiple times). You can look back on moments, and at least for me, it’s almost overpowering the shame, guilt & embarrassment linked to weird or wrong behaviour I’ve done while drunk. My advice with the drinking is to look at it logically. Ask yourself this, where do you wanna be in 5 years? If you continued drinking all the time to bury away the OCD, will you be in your ideal spot? I’m assuming your answer will be no, and I think that’s probably a good first step to take. But please don’t worry about whether you’re an ‘alcoholic’ or not, I don’t think you’re an alcoholic, but the harsh reality is that this could go wrong given time, so be cognisant and responsible, and start trying to get it under control. Read some books maybe, TALK TO A THERAPIST (OCD specialist) if that’s an option for you! Whatever route feels best, do it. You’re okay, and you’re gonna be okay. You sound to me like a responsible person, and I have no doubt that you can overcome the problems your facing. And for for the OCD, ERP, no compulsions! It’s worth it ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
I'm in a similar situation. I always worry I said something terrible after I drink or did something terrible. I just had a bad dream that I did something terrible after drinking and now I feel like crap. It always brings back memories or false memories. :( I can also relate to that vanishing feeling after drinking a bit. I usually feel like, "hey! Everything is going to be okay!" and of course that only lasts while a shirt while. An escape! I'm here if you ever want to talk. We have each other!
- Date posted
- 4y
I too overdrink and then OCD comes in and tells me I’m guilty for various things even though I can’t remember such things. I’m sober enough to remember what happened if I’m in a group but then afterwards OCD thoughts make me fearful I did something bad.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
These are some of my experiences with some theatrical flare to better depict how it feels. I decided to share this because when I saw this community I suddenly felt less alone in more human. Lovecraftian door Lurker: I don’t know the subtypes so I’ll just be talking about my relationship with OCD. OCD! that lonely woman in the ocean singing your praise's, sure she’ll love you forever! Of course she isn’t a siren planning on dragging you to the depths and tearing you to shreds. OCD! that haunting whisper in the wind calling you to fly! fly! OCD! that Lovecraftian abomination chanting at you from behind a locked door. Banging demanding you bow to it’s will. For me it latches on to my trauma and PTSD circling them like some demented teacup ride. A daily occurance for me is recalling the day I died when I was like 6 i remeber each detail of the day the kids i met the activtes we particapated in, the heat. The height of the slide before i plummeted to my death. This day consumes my life. “Thud thud!” I ask my parents about it often they tell me it never happened i tell them they weren’t there. Each time they lie and say I’ve never told them. My boyfriend whom I’ve been with for three years hears the story offten and often deals with me asking him if he’s seen me ask my parents. “Thud Thud” Each time he says yes and I asked how they responded “like you’ve never told them.” I constantly become afraid that my boyfreind will drown because he can’t swim. “Thud! Thud!” and because he can’t swim that the car will go off the road into some body of water and he will die. ”Thud! Thud!” I feel the water filling my lungs turning them into fire, the fear of reaching out my hands with no aid. “THUD! THUD! And he will die alone too and there’s nothing you can do to stop it! THUD THUD!” I scream that same fire fueling my rage my tears running down my face like gasoline igniting the thought spiral further burning deeper into my self hatred. I scream again banging my hands on my head. Wish and hoping it will shut up the thoughts.“why? Why?! WHY!” Sobbing until I’m nothing but a puddle. . . Ya know a few months ago I was depressed the thoughts became too much, so I wanted to get high. I thought it would make them stop “Thud! Thud!” So I took a gummy it was unpackage, from a friend of a friend so now the word dog, in reference to a person is a permit part of my vocabulary. And I have memories from being in a comma because it turned out to be DMT and my 6 hour trip end up feeling like 6 months of HELL. The ocd thoughts that i usually see, in a flash became so real that i just cried for hour terrified i was stabbing my eyes out dead and this was my purgatory for leaving the church. ”Thud! THUD!” I stopped using my favorite water bottle after that. Before the incident The bottle up against the wall with the straw to the side of the wall because the thought that would repeat in my head would be that because of my clumsiness I would trip and fall onto the straw and it would stab my eye out and kill me. I had this thought often I kept look up what to do if you accidently get something stab/stuck in your eye. “Thud! Thud!”
- Date posted
- 17w
First I must say I love children and harming one sickens me. So if you don’t understand pocd please don’t commment. Ive only ever been drunk around children once at a house party , my ocd then convinced me I could’ve assaulted them the next morning as my memory was patchy…I haven’t let this go for YEARS. I didn’t even know what I did? 6 years later I have this whole story, based off an intrusive image I had but still don’t really know what I did? Every waking day of my life I’m trying to figure this out but I’m getting more and more confused. I’ve found clues, coincidences , things I believe could be evidence but isn’t really? I’m mixing in reality and false images….My therapists (I’ve had 3) all say this is false memory ocd? But mine feels different? Mine feels worse? Anyway I need a break.
- Date posted
- 9w
I’m curious if anyone else has ever had this. This is my specific theme in regards to my OCD that has been prevalent in my life since 2022. Quick back story: went to a party college for 4.5 years and had a blast, got as drunk as I wanted on weekends and never once felt bad about it. Then, hangovers got worse and I started partying too much. After graduation, I told myself that it’d be a really cool goal to get to the point where I could go out and just have 4 beers. Enough to enjoy myself, not enough to make me hungover. Well, this simple healthy goal turned into a massive obsession. Now, if I go over my limit of 4-5 beers/drinks, two things happen: 1. I give up and binge drink bc I might as well if I’m already over my limit. 2. The next day even if I’m super hungover, unless I can’t bc of work scheduling, I will perform a check where I drink 4 beers and see if I can still get drunk off of those. If I can get drunk, then I feel normal. If I am not as drunk, then this cycle continues. I worry about becoming an alcoholic all the time bc at this point in my life I am very active in my social scene, and alcohol is very much present. While I certainly do not have any family history of alcoholism nor the personality or drive to become one, I still fear that I might one day despite knowing I won’t. I also worry about raising my drinking tolerance by continuing to feed this obsession/compulsion loop. It’s slightly affected my personality and confidence. I’m aware it’s irrational and the solution is to simply cut back as anyone would and go out less frequently, or drink less frequently when I’m out. And yet, my other obsession with alcohol is experiencing the painful withdrawals that alcoholics experience when they stop drinking!! Despite never having experienced those withdrawals when I’ve not drank on a given night. So, it’s a weird one. Thinking the ERP is just going to be not performing those checks. If I’ve reached my limit and am not as drunk, okay. Alcohol absorption is affected by a lot. No need to check my tolerance nor go overboard since I’m not as drunk. We’ll see. I’m on Zoloft too which has helped a ton with other symptoms but this theme is making it less effective and I need to get control of it now.
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