I’ve convinced myself that I molested my cousin who is 1 and 1/2 years younger than me when we were kids. When we were about 6 or 7 (could have been younger) we got under the covers and pretended to “play adult” and we just rubbed each other’s arms and backs and that’s all I remember. I’m in group therapy and this one girl said her 14 year old cousin molested her 7 year old and her story triggered my thought to when I was a kid with my cousin and had me thinking “am I like that person?? Did I do those things??” When in reality I didn’t. My therapist and psychiatrist told me the behavior I experienced with my cousin is child sexual exploration and it’s normal developmental age. I told my cousin about it and she had no idea what I was talking about and said it’s normal for kids to do things like that. Can someone please help me??? I was so young and didn’t know any better. Just needing advice. I feel horrible right now. This thought is debilitating and It’s making me feel so bad.

Justmesadly

Date posted: 4y

You’re seeking reassurance here by asking for help. I have been triggered in this exact same way. But you’re correct children play like this all the time, it’s not sexual exploration it’s playing innocently and having no idea what sex is or anything along the lines. Sit with the idea that maybe you hurt your cousin. You for sure shouldn’t have asked your cousin or talked to her about it as you’re doing that for reassurance and that could have had a really bad outcome. It’s so hard with real event to not confess but don’t do it! Resist the complusions

Kristen

Date posted: 4y

Thank you, I just feel so, so lost and I’m somewhat ew to this app and wanted to see if there was someone out there that had a similar experience such as myself. I will try my best to resist my compulsions and I just started seeing a therapist today. I appreciate your advice.

Kristen

Date posted: 4y

New***

Kristen

Date posted: 4y

Also, what do you mean “sit with the idea that maybe you hurt your cousin?”

Justmesadly

Date posted: 4y

Yes there are lots of us with this same type of story. Child hood play is one of the most common types of real event ocd things. And to Tell yourself maybe I did molest my cousin maybe I didn’t. Or for me it’s maybe she will tell everyone and it will be completely different than I remember or maybe she doesn’t even remember or think anything of it. You have to sit with the discomfort

Kristen

Date posted: 4y

@Justmesadly Ohhhh, I see what you’re saying. I was thinking this type of OCD didn’t exist and felt alone. You have helped me and I will most definitely take your advice. I really appreciate your help and I’ll stop with the compulsions and reassurance. Thank you again.

Justmesadly

Date posted: 4y

@Kristen Yes it’s super common! You’re never alone in the ocd world! You can do this!

Kristen

Date posted: 4y

@Justmesadly How does ERP come into play with this type of intrusive thought?

Justmesadly

Date posted: 4y

@Kristen For real event just as any it really depends on you, but for me it’s going to my parents house, writing down the friends name and reading it out loud over and over, writing down the event many times and read it out loud, look at pics of them etc.

Kristen

Date posted: 4y

@Justmesadly Okay, I will give it a try. I sincerely appreciate your advice. I’m so grateful.

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