- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Not 100% sure if it is but I used to do the same. Everything from downloading dating apps to posting thirst traps on Instagram just hoping for a reply. I always needed to know what they thought of me but once I got it from them I was over it and would move on to the next girl. It was never enough. It took realizing that I needed to up my own self love and value before I hurt more people by ghosting them/blocking them etc.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Damn, exactly me dude. When I got 1 like I was exstatic, then over it, then at 5 likes the high came back, then i needed more. Then i needed matches, then requests to hang out, etc etc. The frustrating part is I know logically im being really insecure and I shouldnt seek validation like this, but I can’t help but feel this way about myself. I agree we need to work on self love definitely. I wonder how we can use exposure in our case as I believe fishing for compliments or dating apps probably acts as the opposite (reassurance-seeking behaviour)
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Sourcreamnachos Yes exactly! I’ve found that finding replacement behaviors that align with my values helps a lot. If I feel the urge to seek out validation I cook, read, contact my family, walk my dog. I try to do things that align with my values. It’s all a process of course and it’s never that easy but in time it will be.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Asdf55 Thanks for your help and advice I appreciate it Ive deleted the app and honestly its hard lol. The momentary validation is addictive. However I feel horrible and this was a learning experience for sure.. thanks again
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I definitely relate to this. I used to even go on omegle or download dating apps just hoping for the compliments/attention/positive validation. Deleting social media has helped a ton, because the likes are definitely addicting. Whenever I have the urge I remind myself that it’s just insecurity and I try to do something more fulfilling/productive that will make me feel good abt myself in a better way. Like putting together a good outfit/makeup or making art only for myself, or helping someone else. Bc I used to do makeup n stuff just to post things it’s a good challenge for me to do it for myself without the goal of attention
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Good to know that y’all deal w this too, even though it sucks and nobody should have to
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I'm a girl and I feel exactly how you feel, trust me it's really hard craving validation from others all the time :( it sucks but please don't be too hard on yourelf, ok? I bet you're terrific and as long as youre respectful and keep up a kind attitude the right person will find you, promise ^^ you don't have to be liked by every single person, there will always be someone that finds you special because you're YOU ♡♡♡
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you for taking the time to write this comment, made my day. Take care 🙂
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Sourcreamnachos aw no problem bud, you too!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 14w ago
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
- Date posted
- 9w ago
Ok so I just downloaded this app like two days ago because I was looking for a OCD specialist. Maybe this is just my opinion but the posting’s on this app can be super triggering. If feels like even sharing your experience on an app like this can contribute to fueling OCD. So many people I see reassurance seeking, confessing and posting the same things multiple times to gain certainty. Makes me wonder if this app is counterproductive to the point of OCD treatment. I’m guilty of spending hours scrolling through the post trying to find people who relate to me, but in the end it makes me more anxious and fuels my OCD. Idk what do you guys think.
- Date posted
- 5w ago
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
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