I have a weird one idk if its OCD but I know im a decent guy, at least average looking but I feel like I need validation from girls. Its like i just want to know for sure if im attractive and how much is so… perhaps from a fear of not being good enough. With much reluctance and self-hatred i downloaded a dating app and actually did get matches and conversations, etc which surprised me and gave me like a “high” for a while and a sense of relief like “oh thank goodness I must be attractive then” but no matter what, somehow my anxiety would always find a way of convincing that I wasnt. Ie: if a girl and I werent compatible and she unmatched me I’d feel like I wasnt good enough, or if she asked me to hang out id just think she must be easy and says that to many guys etc. Like no matter what my anxiety prevails and despite the reassurance I got from actually doing decently well on this app, it has only left me feeling more anxious, rejected, depressed and confused. Is this OCD?

I’m 25 years old. Never have been in a relationship with a female. When I think about it, it makes me very sad. I have an extremely low self esteem. It was brought to my attention by a couple of OCD specialists about the correlation between OCD and my fear of rejection. For example, if I get rejected, it would mean that that person is confirming that I am indeed worthless and should go kill myself, etc. This sick all or nothing thinking is probably a big reason why I haven’t been in a relationship. My therapist at the moment from NOCD is pushing me to interact with more women by initiating conversation but I am nervous about this. I keep telling myself I’m going to say something to someone but I always freeze up and make excuses.

I think i have a problem. I need responses plz. I (M20) think there is something wrong with me and I’m mentally obsessing. So first, let’s go way back to high school. I was in this relationship with this girl (I’ll use fake names) her name was Jenna from a different school when i was around 16-17 years old for about a little over a year. It was good but i found myself way too attached, (which i guess that’s how i naturally am in a relationship) and everything was literally perfect in that relationship except for the fact she would get mad at me for calling and texting her literally 24/7. And looking back on it rightfully so i was being annoying. She broke up with me after about 15 months and i think she just lost feelings and the whole calling stuff too and we were young. I was upset of course but obviously now I’m over it that was years ago. So after that relationship i was single for about almost 4 years. I had dating apps in the past & I wanted a girlfriend pretty badly so i found one that liked me her name was Sophia (again, using fake names) and we were like in this crazy honeymoon phase for about 8 weeks but it felt like the realest thing ever. And we started officially dating.Then i kind of started suffering from ROCD, i was scared i was loosing feelings, i was getting thoughts that i wasn’t attracted to her even though i was. This resulted in alot of panic attacks , with and without her present. And the list goes on, it was a really confusing time. So, going into this relationship i had thought about my ‘obsession with calling’ before hand and i figured I’m more mature now that i would not do that and I’ll be able to handle it better. Boy was I wrong. After weeks of dealing with ROCD, all i do is keep calling and calling and calling and calling, sometimes i just want to be annoying for no reason and my OCD would get to me thinking I’m some maniac. So we try our best in this relationship for a couple more months but it was mentally wearing on her because i would just be crying with her a lot and dealing with a lot of stuff. So she broke up with me a couple days after New Years and i was devastated, because all in the all i was still in love with her, it was just that cloud of ROCD that was getting in the way. After she broke up with me, i found myself obsessing more, and to add to it, she kind of just broke up with me and blocked me on everything without really an explanation. (even though i kind of know why she broke up with me) So i found myself calling and calling and calling and calling. I would call from No Called ID, i would buy fake phone numbers from the App Store to call her, i would venmo her saying sorry and all this. This all sounds really bad but it’s all the truth. She ended up threatening me with the police so i stopped. I feel like such an idiot and a weirdo. Now, I’m back on this dating app, and this girl named Jessica (again fake names) tells me to add her phone number, so I’m texting her we had a good convo and then out of no where she blocks me and i try calling her from no caller ID a few times but nothing. I woke up with her saying this. “I’m not sure if that was you calling me from No Caller ID last night, but do not do that again. That is harassment.” Is there something wrong with me? I do suffer from OCD and i take meds for it by the way. But other than this terrible attribute, i feel like I’m a really good guy and I’m good in a relationship if you take that complete away. I feel like any girl that somewhat shows interest in me, i have this obsessive feeling and it sucks i just want to be normal. What can i do to change this? I feel so obsessed i don’t want to feel this way.

I'm a South Asian woman and I've been told that I'm very pretty. I think I'm not bad looking. I'm 19 and on my dating app profile I definitely look decent. I also have a more goth/alt vibe going on. I went on reddit and there were a lot of posts on the indian American shnreddit on how indian women were generally not seen as desirable. I don't live in America, I live in a very diverse area in Toronto. I don't think my race is realistically the reason I was getting fee matches. I observed tinder and bumble were glitchimg. Ik this for sure. My hinge was 50/50 and was Def weird on my phone and I've been told that can happen. I never get hit on but I've noticed men checking me out on many occasions and I've also been told I'm kind of intimidating (in person). I've had men slide into my dms like twice but I've also tried to start convos with guts (purely platonic ) who didn't respond. I'm almost certain my negativity bias due to depression and ocd are at play here but my mind is like well no one thinks you're hot. Even though friends. Family and even guy friends are like yeah no you're pretty. I hope I don't sound narcissistic but I genuinely struggle to find worth outside of potential beauty. I've always been super weird never finding in so OMG PEOPLE LIKE ME ? is a nee feeling