- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Not 100% sure if it is but I used to do the same. Everything from downloading dating apps to posting thirst traps on Instagram just hoping for a reply. I always needed to know what they thought of me but once I got it from them I was over it and would move on to the next girl. It was never enough. It took realizing that I needed to up my own self love and value before I hurt more people by ghosting them/blocking them etc.
- Date posted
- 4y
Damn, exactly me dude. When I got 1 like I was exstatic, then over it, then at 5 likes the high came back, then i needed more. Then i needed matches, then requests to hang out, etc etc. The frustrating part is I know logically im being really insecure and I shouldnt seek validation like this, but I can’t help but feel this way about myself. I agree we need to work on self love definitely. I wonder how we can use exposure in our case as I believe fishing for compliments or dating apps probably acts as the opposite (reassurance-seeking behaviour)
- Date posted
- 4y
@Sourcreamnachos Yes exactly! I’ve found that finding replacement behaviors that align with my values helps a lot. If I feel the urge to seek out validation I cook, read, contact my family, walk my dog. I try to do things that align with my values. It’s all a process of course and it’s never that easy but in time it will be.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Asdf55 Thanks for your help and advice I appreciate it Ive deleted the app and honestly its hard lol. The momentary validation is addictive. However I feel horrible and this was a learning experience for sure.. thanks again
- Date posted
- 4y
I definitely relate to this. I used to even go on omegle or download dating apps just hoping for the compliments/attention/positive validation. Deleting social media has helped a ton, because the likes are definitely addicting. Whenever I have the urge I remind myself that it’s just insecurity and I try to do something more fulfilling/productive that will make me feel good abt myself in a better way. Like putting together a good outfit/makeup or making art only for myself, or helping someone else. Bc I used to do makeup n stuff just to post things it’s a good challenge for me to do it for myself without the goal of attention
- Date posted
- 4y
Good to know that y’all deal w this too, even though it sucks and nobody should have to
- Date posted
- 4y
I'm a girl and I feel exactly how you feel, trust me it's really hard craving validation from others all the time :( it sucks but please don't be too hard on yourelf, ok? I bet you're terrific and as long as youre respectful and keep up a kind attitude the right person will find you, promise ^^ you don't have to be liked by every single person, there will always be someone that finds you special because you're YOU ♡♡♡
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for taking the time to write this comment, made my day. Take care 🙂
- Date posted
- 4y
@Sourcreamnachos aw no problem bud, you too!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
I apologize I post here a lot lol. I have a few questions/I want to vent about this. My therapist and I have identified one of the triggers I’ve been trying to work on, which is my fear of never being good enough; for myself, my family, my friends, for my romantic relationships, and just in general. Honestly, I hate myself so much. Not for any reason in particular, but I overanalyze everything I do and let it consume me. I know this is normal for most people, and everyone goes through bouts of self depreciation and lack of self love. I’m trying to give my love to myself that I’ve always given to other people and it’s so difficult. It’s really funny, I need male validation even though I feel like I can never trust a man ever again. I was broken up with at the beginning of April, and so you can imagine how my self worth really has been feeling. I’m aware my self worth isn’t based on other people’s perception of me, but I just want to be loved consistently through my ocd and adhd. It feels like it’s too much for people, while I simultaneously feel like I’m making this a massive deal. I don’t want to get into another relationship ever again, I just think I’m too weird for most men or they’ll take advantage of me for something again. I think if a man is nice to me, it means there’s an ulterior motive or a catch. There’s genuinely no way someone even cares as much about me as I do them, it’s always one sided. I love my friends, I’m taking about relationships wise. Not to mention, I hate the way I look and act. When I think I’m somewhat decent looking, there’s always a post to pop up with this stunningly beautiful girl. I can never catch up with modern beauty standards. I hate this so so so much. I hate feeling this way, how do I make this all stop?
- Date posted
- 19w
Hey, so idk if I have ocd, I would like to think I’m a very self aware person but I don’t wanna self diagnose at all, lmk what you guys think. So pretty much my whole life since I was young I remember having irrational fears im sure it was all trauma induced but when I was a kid I thought my father was poisoning me until I asked him, he started crying and was so shocked that I could ever even think that, my parents broke up when I was legit fresh out the womb, mom worked two jobs and disciplined me, dad let me do whatever on the weekends and got me snacks so I was obsessed with him so obsessed that it was mandatory for me to kiss his picture 20x everyday before school. Growing up I always felt followed by cameras or like someone out there was recording me waiting for me to do something embarrassing to expose me in front of the whole world and my life was over 🤣🤣 I thought my abusive ex bf was stalking me through my I phone camera after we broke up and it would truly stress me out, it made me believe that it was the reason he never reached out again bc I probably looked ugly in the camera he was stalking me through. If I fall out with a friend Ill over analyze everything to see if I did anything wrong and god forbid while I’m self reflecting I realize I did something wrong I feel like an evil person, verbatim the people I fall out with is bc they’ve done me wrong in some way and it has to b something hurtful or repeated mistakes for me to really stay away for good, so I’ll beat myself up for making mistakes with another person who’s made the same amount of mistakes if not more and in most cases I always fall short, and this when I question if it’s ocd or I’m just to self aware and see the ugly in me bc I’m not perfect and it’s just makes me feel so unsettled but again that’s a normal feeling and the next step is to forgive yourself and do better moving forward, not obsess over it like your trying to convince yourself you’re a good person. I’m also hot tempered and will say hurtful things when I’m mad I’m definitely a crash out in the way, you push my bottoms way too many times and I will shred you, and I’ll say things ik will hurt you and that’s just so low, then the anger goes away and I have to face the guilt, which makes my “ocd” 100x worse, it almost feels like I have to do everything right to not trigger it yet again I don’t have the self control to do it all right, I actually have a lot bpd tendencies again not diagnosing but I’m just trying to understand my brain. I worry about dying, getting a terminal illness. uti turning into kidney infection then into cancer kind of thing, knowing that life in general can b tragic is so scary to me, like what will be my story? What will be my life experience?. I believe that people see right through me and discuss it amongst each other, I always tell myself I am not that important but I can’t seem to shake it off sometimes. When I would break up with my ex I would have pre written paragraphs ready to b send if he ever decided to reach back and I would do this to make sure I didn’t forget a single thought, that every point i felt I need to prove was there, and that bothers me bc do I want win an argument or fix the issue. All of these feelings make me feel so pathetic and embarrassed people move on with their lives and I’m still stuck on something that happened 3 yrs ago. Then I’ll get manic get a tattoo, change my hair, go out clubbing do what I can to b the sexy young girl that I am and it helps in the moment but it worsens my mental after the euphoria is gone. I’m currently staying home, not going out, have only 1 friend so I feel like ocd progressively got worse now, I don’t remember it getting this bad in a while. lmk what you guys think don’t judge or think I’m embarrassing I’m actually so cool and if have to convince you I’m cool I will LMFAOO no but fr help
- Date posted
- 19w
So how would I know if it’s truly ocd or not? Like by accepting uncertainty, will I eventually realize if it was false or true attraction and if it was actually ocd or not? For example I was out today, right after my therapy appointment, I saw a kid that looked exactly like this girl my age that I was into. I felt a sense of attraction and I immediately went into the restroom to hide or smth I don’t remember, but when I came out I think I avoided looking at the kid. Idk if it was false attraction or not, I hope it was but I’m not sure. I can’t really tell. FYI I was never formally diagnosed with pocd before, but my therapist said that I have it but I still don’t believe it. I still feel like it’s not pocd because of the attraction feelings, I can’t tell if I like the feelings or not. I don’t feel any of panic, worry, distress, guilt or shame after any of those feelings. I did start crying when I got home tho idk why or what for, but I went to take a nap for a while and when I woke up it kind of became clearer if it was real or false attraction, but it’s still really unclear, I don’t get why I would feel that way towards a literal child, is it bc she looked like this girl my age that I was into? I hope it was false attraction, still can’t tell.
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