My boyfriend keeps commenting on my weight and suggesting I should go on a diet. I'm 5'5 and weight 135 pounds... I'm also an athlete. This is making me have serious body dismorphia and I'm obsessing on whether or not I'm fat and need to lose weight or he is just off the rails 🤔 It's so annoying.

I’ll preface by saying he’s a brutally honest guy who doesn’t feel like there’s anything wrong with being honest. But um… yeah. He says I concentrate on the bad too much instead of all the good. I said I feel the bad is still there lingering during the good. He doesn’t compliment me like my previous boyfriends have unless I’m absolutely dressed to the nines, and even then, I can barely get it out of him. I’m a few years older than him. The other day, I asked him if he is sacrificing being with his type to be with me, and without missing a beat, he said “yes.” Basically, his type would be skinnier, younger, hotter than me (shocker, I know). I showed him a photo of myself that I liked, and he said “meh.” I tried to be confident and said, “well, I know it’s good, and that’s all that matters.” He asked what I liked about it, and I said my cheekbones looked good. He said he “only saw cheeks.” I said, “yeah… kinda hard to see cheekbones without seeing the cheeks…” He then proceeded to poke at my face/double chin, and when I asked what he’s doing, he said, “Trying to find the bones.” In the same convo, he said he hasn’t wanted to sleep with me because of my weight. Said he wishes he could see my waist more. I’m 10 pounds heavier than I was when we met, and that’s nothing. He’s gained way more in this relationship, but I don’t give him shit about it. He says “well maybe you should.” But I’m not gonna go insulting him just because he insults me. When I tell him it makes me feel bad, he says, “well I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, so…” Anyway, I know it’s not just ROCD. I deserve better than this. But ROCD still makes me question myself. Mad af at him ngl

Recently my bf wanted to confess to a comment he made to his friends that always bothered him that he said this and it was literally within the first week we had met. (It’s sweet that he wanted to apologize for it, he even teared up bc he knew it would hurt my feelings) He told his friends that I was “super pretty but that he also thinks these girls on tiktok are hot” (girls with piercings and dark makeup, basically alt/ goth looking). Then he said “I just think that look is attractive.” He said the only reason he brought it up was bc he was on tiktok when he was talking to his friends (on discord) and a girl popped up on his FYP and made him think what he finds more attractive. Then his friends wanted to see pictures of me and everyone agreed I was pretty. Then like 3 days later he was talking to his friends again (they only ever talk through discord bc they don’t live in the same city) and was basically just raving about me and how pretty I am. Then his friends said “what about the tiktok girls and what you said” and then my bf said “I was trippin”. This is making my ocd so bad bc I kept ruminating if I should add it to the list of reasons why we need to break up or if this was my “sign” to end it. But then I also get reminded of the positive, like when he told me the first time he saw me he thought I was the prettiest girl he’d ever seen, and has even reassured me by showing me messages of him talking to his best friend about me (also the same week of us first talking) and told him that I was “actually perfect” and “INSANELY pretty”. I try not to be upset at him since this was when we barely knew each other and his type back then was more emo/alt girls at the time and I look different. But I have spiraled so much about it bc I don’t want him to settle for me. He’s tried reassuring me so many times that he was always very attracted to me and never thought anyone was prettier than me, he said just in that brief moment that look still caught his eye but that it went away super fast. He also tried explaining to me that “hot” doesn’t mean “better” or even “prettier” just that the look itself is what he used to describe as hot. He said “hot” is also a casual thing to say, especially to guy friends. Whereas to me, hot means the BEST looking. Sometimes I want him to admit that he was just not that attracted to me in the beginning/more attracted to tiktok girls in the beginning bc it makes more sense to me LOL but that’s just me being annoying and I get very bothered when someone tries to sugar coat things rather than telling me the harsh truth. I think this may be another common thing in ocd, like just WANTING him to tell me the worst case scenario bc it’s more logical to me that way. He ends up crying with me bc of how sad he feels that I have such low self esteem from it and also is so frustrated that I won’t believe him, even though he was honest enough to want to share this with me. Sometimes I think he is playing two truths and a lie to make his explanations more believable. Am I making him out to be a villain who always wants to manipulate me or is this just an instinct I have when I feel that someone is not telling me the truth. We’ve had other problems with him not wanting to be brutally honest bc of how I react so it always scares me that he is always telling me a fabricated story. I also am starting to feel embarrassed for myself and for him being with me. I wish someone could just tell me if the things he’s done or said are deal beakers

Judgy thoughts. I constantly have thoughts criticizing my boyfriend. Some of these are based on insecurities like our height difference, him being shorter than me. It just feels like I always have these negative thoughts and feelings and I always feel like I need to tell my boyfriend. I **know** they’re hurtful but I feel like I’m being dishonest or something if I don’t say something. Why do I constantly want to point out his shortness or if he has a smell that may not be too pleasant (completely human, nothing foul). Why can’t I ever keep it to myself. I used to be able to because I think the normal thing is to notice and move on. I don’t understand why I just can’t or why these thoughts are so persistent. Like I’m constant looking for a flaw. It’s so draining and I can’t imagine how exhausting it is for him apart from confusing and hurtful :( I love him