If you have HOCD this one's for you. So to set some background I'm currently 20 and have had cycled through many, many of the different types of OCD since the age of 10. I've probably had every type by now. But when I was about 13 I had hocd and it was bad. Really bad. Had 80 absences from school that year bad. And I was only 13 I had no idea what the hell it was I was dealing with, I had no idea what ocd was let alone hocd. So I suffered and suffered until I finally found a fourm somewhere about this thing called hocd, and I finally had a name for what I was experiencing. I fought it by myself because I was too scared to tell anyone about it, in hindsight I should have though lol. But I just stopped giving those thoughts power. I accepted it and was like "yeah maybe I'm gay, maybe I'm not" or "yeah that guy in this movie is pretty good looking, does that make me gay? Maybe, maybe not" and eventually it lost it's power and faded away. Unfortunately my ocd continued to bounce to other topics I've had to fight that have also been hard. But I just want you to know if you have hocd you will get through this. I'm 20 now and have an amazing girlfriend and I literally can watch brokeback mountain lol (that woulda been impossible in my days of hocd)and just be like "hey that was a pretty good movie" without any ocd trigger or worry of being gay. You got this guys! Also one of my big compulsions was looking at male celebrities for hours and seeing if I had any attraction to them or what we now know as "groinal response" I know many of you might have a compulsion like that, and it's okay but you gotta try and not do that it'll only feed the ocd. I hope this may have given some of you some hope.

the amount of RELIEF i got from your post because i rarely ever see people saying they went through times when they were convinced they were lesbians and i thought this meant i was definitely one and it wasn't hocd but actual real denial i know you didn't mean your post as reassurance but i was just so confused as to whether hocd can get me convinced i am a lesbian and that i actually might enjoy same s3x intercourse, mostly because in the past few days i haven't felt much anxiety regarding my thoughts and i am able to tell them to shush more easily anw, thank you infinitely

@Nour04 Yeah! I use the word ‘convinced’, but we’re not convinced in the same way that someone who is actually a lesbian/bi would be convinced, it’s more if an intense confusion that leads us to feel that there is no other answer than to say that we’re x. But everything you describe is so normal for this theme. When I was at my worse, I felt that there was no way out. I was completely lost, confused, depressed - everything. I felt like my life was over. But then I started doing the right things, and I’m in such a better place now!! You’ve got this. I promise you. You sound just like I was!!!

@fuchsia<3 thank you so much!! the thing that is freaking me out the most is that my anxiety towards the thoughts has reduced so i feel like i actually like the thoughts and want them and it FREAKS me out

@Nour04 I just want to say this post was really hopeful and I am so happy I saw it. Thank you!

@Nour04 I’m the same as you !!!!

@lkkkk1234 Like honestly sometimes I’m convinced

especially because stuff hasn't been bothering me as much lately and i am scared i am starting to reveal my real colours and that i have always been bi/lesbian in denial and i am panicking

Definitely hocd. I had the same issues. Also theres nothing wrong with looking at a girl and thinking shes good looking. I look at other guys sometimes and am like "damn that's a good looking dude" it's your ocd that gives you those "do I wanna kiss her" type thoughts. That's all they are, thoughts. Just learn to be like "do I wanna kiss her? Maybe, maybe not. Who cares" make it lose its power over you. But yes 1000% hocd. One of the biggest things I heard when I rid myself of it was a simple line by some random guy on a fourm in 2013 "if you don't wanna be gay then you're not"

@OCDUDE99 thank you infinitely OMG the amount of stress this has been causing me because the thoughts aren't "what if" anymore (still are some of them) but they're more like staring at every girl to see whether i would like to do anything with her and sometimes i do this unconsciously and it freaks me out because i feel like i like it

@Nour04 Fight those thoughts back, you got this 💪

@OCDUDE99 thank you so much!! honestly seeing that you jave overcome this gave me some sense of hope so thank you infinitely

I mean nothing is abnormal with ocd. You need to focus on saying yeah maybe I am and focusing back onto what you were doing. Really mean it when you say it though. Say it with conviction "YEAH MAYBE I AM GAY WHO CARES". If you struggle with constantly being in your head you need to start a meditation practice and stick to it. It changed my life and it can do the same to you.

@OCDUDE99 Also, as soon as you started doing the maybe maybe notit strategy, like within the first couple of hours, did it feel great, like you felt a lot better

@dylen No it was over time it slowly got easier. It's not going to be immediate. But with meditation I feel crazy relaxed after a session.

@OCDUDE99 Lol, I felt good for a few hours but now I feel a lil bit anxious, but this technique started working greatly lol

@dylen Just keep it up man, it'll get easier over time until you're over it.

@OCDUDE99 Like I notice I have a lot of anxiety in my groin, even without the intrusive thoughts, even the slightest touch makes it erect not to be graphic lol