Question for people who recovered or are in recovery, does attraction goes back to normal?

Thanks, I appreciate it

@Hewhohasnoname Of course

Great to hear that you're doing fine. You went back to your initial attraction before SOOCD, I suppose?

@Hewhohasnoname Well that's a complicated one because I had soocd plus I was a confused teenager, I thought I was straight but I'm actually bisexual.

@P3PP3R So it wasn't soocd then I imagind, you were discovering your sexuality and got confused

@Hewhohasnoname No it was both because I had constant intrusive thoughts about it

@P3PP3R Oh okay; like you were gettinh unpleasant images and thoughts about people and you all day long?

@Hewhohasnoname Yeah it was quite unpleasant I got hospitalized

@P3PP3R Damn, now they're gone I hope. I don't get any intrusive thoughts tbh alongside other symptoms, I only ruminate about something I watched that confusef my sexuality...That's why I don't think it's soocd, but now that I've read way too much about soocd I'm panicking

@Hewhohasnoname I also had Trans OCD as well, that one almost killed me.

@P3PP3R See, people talk about themes and stuffs, I've never had any ocd before and I'm 25, so this is all confusing to me

To the sex you were attracted to before so-ocd9

@Hewhohasnoname Maybe, maybe not

@Nica Living with the uncertainty, I guess

Not really social media, adult content...But yeah, I see what situation U were in, it would've been confusing since you're bi and mainly attravted to both but still got intrusive thoughts about one gender

I'm happy for you. Could you give me examples of the self ERP you done to yourself?

@Hewhohasnoname Could you be more specific on what your obsession is?

@P3PP3R This is where it gets tricky...So I don't have intrusive thoughts nor images, don't feel attraction to same sex (still pretty much attracted to the opposite sex), bo groinal response, but low libido from extreme anxiety, and I have this one thought that don't wanna leave my mind "Why did I watch that one porn video?" And naturally comes thid question after "am I bi because of that? Am I in denial or just got hooked on porn?"...The memory of that video brings me extreme anxiety, shame and guilt (Not homophobic, but you know the drill). I read on a psychology website once that soocd thoughts comes before the actions, not the contrary. Which means it doesn't come from watching a porn video, but rather before so it can push you to check by watching porn. (I had some questions before, because of porn too, but not as much as this extreme). So I'm so confused. I feel it's just the trauma from that video that sent me into a limbo of questions, but again I'm not sure, so I wanna do self ERP to see what will come out of it.

@P3PP3R I wish I could go back in time and never do that, or erase that memory once and for all

@Hewhohasnoname For one just sit with the feeling, ideas and everything. Say to yourself these thoughts and feelings don't bother me, it won't be true at first but it's like a mantra. As far as ERP, maybe try looking at images of same sex couples kissing or go to pride.

@P3PP3R I've tried doing that apart from the pride, I looked at images of same sex and couples in movies and stuffs. But I just find it normal, like I'm neutral to that. It's the thought that I could lose attraction and sexual performance that scares me, and I don't know how I should deal with that...Even if I'm bi I won't care, because I love my gf who is bi herself and I wanna end my life with her. But I'n just super anxious now, and scared all the time

@P3PP3R But deep down, I don't wanna anythinh beside straight because that what I've always been, I'm 25 and I've always been attracted to girls