I suffer from intrusive thoughts, I think I may have HARM OCD. My therapist diagnosed me with anxiety and depression but not OCD because I never told her about my thoughts. I’m afraid of being around vulnerable people, and I’m afraid for going insane. The thought of it makes me want to throw up, this all started about a week ago, and I haven’t been able to eat since then. I don’t even want to go out because I’m in constant fear. I tell myself “what if I snap?” or “what if I’m a sociopath?” I have told my parents about it and even my significant other and they tell me “you wouldn’t even hurt a fly” I kind of feel relieved after that but not for long. I’ve been trying to get closer to god, I’ve been praying, meditating, I even took magnesium because I want to stop having these thoughts. I did go to therapy right away but I wasn’t completely honest to her due to fear. I’ve been feeling numb. I love my family.. so why am I afraid I might hurt them?

You’re not alone. I also think I have Harm OCD and I was really nervous about telling my therapist. When I told her, she was very kind and compassionate. She didn’t think I was insane.

I have the same as you ❤️your not alone

I'd start with talking to your therepist about this. They know what OCD is. The longer you let this fester the worse it will get. Start by saying I think I have harm OCD and then explain why. If that's hard write down what you want to say and practice it.

I was fine just two weeks ago, I mean, I’ve always suffered from anxiety but not this. I’m the type to not even be able to say anything rude because I later on feel really bad about it. Before I use to fear physical sickness now I fear insanity.

The thoughts make me feel really guilty and I literally want to throw up every time.

Take it from me--as soon as you feel like something is wrong, something probably is wrong . I would tell your therepist you have these thoughts. Don't worry it's not bad enough or hasn't been happening long enough. My OCD just appeared out of the blue too, and I waited a year to ask for help and I regret that. The sooner you get help, the better.

And yeah OCD can make you feel that way. Btw my OCD started as fear of sickness, then turned into scrupulousity and harm OCD. And just so you know, the fact that you are terrified of those thoughts is a sign you wouldn't act on them. But seeking reassurance of this is in itself a compulsion of sorts.

I have therapy again on Wednesday and I’m looking into trying online counseling too. I just want to feel like myself again. I also have a puppy and I’m afraid of getting close to him because I fear accidentally hurting him. He’s a tiny baby and I feel like I’m missing out on loving him due to this.

Well Wednesday is a good day to talk about the thoughts. Just explain you've been doing some research and you think you have harm OCD. Then explain why. Just like what you wrote here, your fear of hurting the puppy is an example. The sooner you get help for OCD the sooner you feel better. See if you can do ERP that works best. Ask your therapist about it.

You know, same with me. I come from a non religious family and randomly started having religious OCD. And no one in my family has OCD. Though we have lots of ADHD, depression, anxiety, and autism but. I think for me the trigger was starting college. I've read where major life transitions can trigger it if your predisposed. Idk lots of things can cause mental illness we don't know the brain well enough yet to discern how it happens. Sometimes it can be genetic, but not always.

And I'm glad I've been able to help you.

I’m nervous of telling my therapist too but I want to feel like my old self, I was happy and I even wanted to work at a day care because kids are everything to me and now I can’t even be around my own niece or my 11 year old brother. It’s hard and I crying as I write this.

Start being honest with your therapist. They’re there to help you, and they won’t judge you for any thoughts you have. The longer you keep it inside, the worse it will get.

You’re not alone in your feelings, all of us have gone through it so you’re strong enough to do it as well.

I will, thank you so much! I’m not sure how I can get myself to eat, I haven’t been hungry whatsoever and that scares me too. I’ve just been an emotional wreck, I can’t even get close to my family members because I fear I might lose control. The thing is I don’t know what causes this, none of my parents have OCD, they only suffer from mild anxiety, and I don’t drink nor do drugs. I did stop exercising though and I started eating very unhealthy.

I feel you ?️

@bributterfly I’m so sorry

The thoughts make me want to throw up too. I have harm ocd too from time to time. Lately my ocd theme has switched to rocd. It’s horrible. I’ll get thoughts about “what if I don’t really love my husband?” And it makes me physically sick. I just want to love him like he loves me. Unconditionally