- Username
- bributterfly
- Date posted
- 6y ago
You’re not alone. I also think I have Harm OCD and I was really nervous about telling my therapist. When I told her, she was very kind and compassionate. She didn’t think I was insane.
I have the same as you ❤️your not alone
I'd start with talking to your therepist about this. They know what OCD is. The longer you let this fester the worse it will get. Start by saying I think I have harm OCD and then explain why. If that's hard write down what you want to say and practice it.
I was fine just two weeks ago, I mean, I’ve always suffered from anxiety but not this. I’m the type to not even be able to say anything rude because I later on feel really bad about it. Before I use to fear physical sickness now I fear insanity.
The thoughts make me feel really guilty and I literally want to throw up every time.
Take it from me--as soon as you feel like something is wrong, something probably is wrong . I would tell your therepist you have these thoughts. Don't worry it's not bad enough or hasn't been happening long enough. My OCD just appeared out of the blue too, and I waited a year to ask for help and I regret that. The sooner you get help, the better.
And yeah OCD can make you feel that way. Btw my OCD started as fear of sickness, then turned into scrupulousity and harm OCD. And just so you know, the fact that you are terrified of those thoughts is a sign you wouldn't act on them. But seeking reassurance of this is in itself a compulsion of sorts.
I have therapy again on Wednesday and I’m looking into trying online counseling too. I just want to feel like myself again. I also have a puppy and I’m afraid of getting close to him because I fear accidentally hurting him. He’s a tiny baby and I feel like I’m missing out on loving him due to this.
Well Wednesday is a good day to talk about the thoughts. Just explain you've been doing some research and you think you have harm OCD. Then explain why. Just like what you wrote here, your fear of hurting the puppy is an example. The sooner you get help for OCD the sooner you feel better. See if you can do ERP that works best. Ask your therapist about it.
You know, same with me. I come from a non religious family and randomly started having religious OCD. And no one in my family has OCD. Though we have lots of ADHD, depression, anxiety, and autism but. I think for me the trigger was starting college. I've read where major life transitions can trigger it if your predisposed. Idk lots of things can cause mental illness we don't know the brain well enough yet to discern how it happens. Sometimes it can be genetic, but not always.
And I'm glad I've been able to help you.
I’m nervous of telling my therapist too but I want to feel like my old self, I was happy and I even wanted to work at a day care because kids are everything to me and now I can’t even be around my own niece or my 11 year old brother. It’s hard and I crying as I write this.
Start being honest with your therapist. They’re there to help you, and they won’t judge you for any thoughts you have. The longer you keep it inside, the worse it will get.
You’re not alone in your feelings, all of us have gone through it so you’re strong enough to do it as well.
I will, thank you so much! I’m not sure how I can get myself to eat, I haven’t been hungry whatsoever and that scares me too. I’ve just been an emotional wreck, I can’t even get close to my family members because I fear I might lose control. The thing is I don’t know what causes this, none of my parents have OCD, they only suffer from mild anxiety, and I don’t drink nor do drugs. I did stop exercising though and I started eating very unhealthy.
I feel you ?️
@bributterfly I’m so sorry
The thoughts make me want to throw up too. I have harm ocd too from time to time. Lately my ocd theme has switched to rocd. It’s horrible. I’ll get thoughts about “what if I don’t really love my husband?” And it makes me physically sick. I just want to love him like he loves me. Unconditionally
just a couple days ago i experienced this for the first time from watching the new DAHMER series. Im having intrusive images and thoughts of me harming or killing my loved ones and its so scary because i would never do it. It has me questioning if im crazy and im having severe panic attacks over 3 times a day. Im mentally and physically drained, i’ve told my mom about it and we are going to see a therapist tomorrow. Im scared to because idk if they specialize in OCD and if i tell them my thoughts they are gonna put me in the mental hospital or say im crazy and don’t have OCD, can any therapists on here or fellow people with Harm OCD let me know if you think im showing signs of it, i just want it to go away and to be able to sleep at night without severe overthinking.
Hello I am new to this application. I am 34 years old and I’m not sure if I have OCD but I’ve noticed that the last two weeks I have been having these horrible thoughts I can’t believe I am having them. It makes me so sad and scared and I can’t seem to stop crying. I’m going on week two feeling this way and can’t seem to get myself out of it. How can I possibly have thoughts about harming my child? They are the precious gift from God. They’re my flesh and bone how can I?? The anxiety I get every day has turned into having it all day and night, just the thought of How I can could possibly think of such thing, now followed by depression and lack of sleep. I have never had this problem ever up until now. I can’t even watch any crime shows or the news because it spikes my anxiety. I can’t even look at anything like knives, guns because it causes me major distress.
It started a month ago on vacation. I started getting intrusive thoughts about harming my loved ones in their sleep and it scared me so bad. I thought it would stop but it only got worse. Here I am a month later and things have changed drastically. My thoughts have now shifted to becoming some serial killer. I am so worried it’s all I think about. I can’t stop thinking about the things I did as a kid and how it could validate all my thoughts. I don’t wanna hurt anyone or anything at all. I am so scared of the thought of the notorious serial killers that I’ve heard about in the past and I can’t stop comparing myself to these horrible people. I’m scared because I used to be mean to animals as a kid and people say this is the first thing to look for in serial killers. I remember still having a lot of empathy for them when I was young too. I look back and cant at all understand why I was like that. It makes me wanna breakdown and punch myself. All of that stopped a really long time ago and every since I have done nothing but helped and empathized with animals. I am every surrounded by them and consider them to be more family than pets. I get extremely upset over anything or anyone who is suffering. I just can’t get that memory of me doing that stuff out of my head and I’m afraid it means it validates my thoughts I’ve been having even though this is not what i want to happen. I’ve been completely avoidant of alcohol and refused to take a medication I was prescribed because irritability was a side effect and I’m afraid of snapping and hurting someone. I just can’t stop thinking about my past and how it could correlate to now. Even though I have grown up to have morals and respect for everything I have a fear that it’s all been a lie. I get so much anxiety from thinking about this stuff. I haven’t eaten in almost 3 days because my stomach is in a constant knot and when I do eat I feel too guilty to do so because I’m not paying attention to these thoughts and sometimes it makes me question whether I secretly want to do bad stuff which I don’t and that scared me so bad. I made an emergency appointment right after I started having these thoughts and they diagnosed me as having schizotypal personality disorder. They said I have been having ocd “tendencies “ because I have the thoughts and constantly googling everything which I guess would be a compulsion. I have been looking on forums for people with past actions similar to mine to see other peoples reactions. I’m not sure what this is anymore. Idk if this is ocd or I’m just using it as an excuse. All I know is that I’m extremely scared. I vowed if this stuff as everything something I would even think about doing I would take myself out before I ever hurt anyone else. It’s scary but it’s what I always tell myself when I doubt any of this.
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