- Date posted
- 4y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes yes yes
- Date posted
- 4y
Hi! Thank you for responding 😊. Do you ever feel like your OCD puts a strain on your relationship or makes it harder to feel what you want to feel with your partner?
- Date posted
- 4y
hello! im alix, and i struggle with rocd, as well as hocd. i have a boyfriend, who is aware of the fact that i am in the lgbtq+ community, as well as my ocd and its themes. ocd definitely puts a strain on my relationship with my boyfriend, especially after tense disagreements where all i can think about for days afterward was the argument (despite us closing it in a healthy matter). my rocd gets me extremely anxious, to the point where i get scared of whether not i really love him, and if i’m just using him for ulterior motives. i’m aware this isn’t true, but i cant help but freak out at the notion that i may or may not love the one person i love more than the world. to answer your other question, it definitely makes it harder to feel what i want to feel with my partner. i act the same as i used to before my ocd began, but i’ll always have these underlying thoughts. i just need to learn how to cope with them :)
- Date posted
- 4y
sorry for the long response! if you have any more questions, i’m down to answer them :)
- Date posted
- 4y
@alixacceptance Thank you so much for the response! That must be really difficult. I don’t feel like I have ROCD, but I also struggle with HOCD. I can’t imagine being LGBTQ+ in a straight passing relationship and also having ROCD. I’m so sorry you go through that. Have you found any ERP exercises that are helping you? I’m not sure how you’d go about ERP for ROCD. The issue that I struggle with is mainly that my whole life I have been in same sex relationships and identified as lesbian. A couple years ago, my best friend who also happened to be a guy told me that he was in love with me. And I thought to myself “well, I guess I’ll try it. I didn’t know I liked girls until I tried it, and I do, so maybe after I try to date a guy I’ll actually like it.” So now we’ve been together for 2 years and he is absolutely my best friend and also my safe space. He knows about my OCD and he is the only person that makes me feel okay. But that’s about as far as my feelings for him go. I am not attracted to him and I can’t stay with him anymore because I feel like I’ve led him on for too long and I’m missing out on being in a relationship with someone I want to be with. I don’t know how to break up with him, because I don’t want him to be devastated. And I know he is a huge source of comfort for me and I selfishly don’t want to give that up. But I also feel like being in a relationship with someone who I’m not attracted to may possibly be making my OCD worse in some ways. I’m sorry for the long response! I’m just trying to see if anyone else has ever been in a similar situation that they’d be willing to share.
Related posts
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 22w
Relationships can be challenging for everyone. What are some ways OCD has come into your relationship and added extra struggles?
- Date posted
- 21w
Hey everyone. I wanted to share my story and some of the things I have/am experiencing in my journey with OCD- particularly with Sexual Orientation OCD. My goal is not to use this as a means for reassurance for myself or for any other, rather as to be a reminder for myself and you all that you are NOT alone. No matter what you are experiencing you aren’t alone, and we have all gone through the same thoughts and feelings as you, in whatever form they may have been. For personal reasons I will not share my name, but I do want to share about me and my journey with what has truly been one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. I am a 24 year old female and for as long as I’ve remembered I’ve always been a “worrier”. My dad used to tell me that worrying will be the fastest way I’d die lol. Oh! How I wish I could go back to those days of just simply worry. For the past few years I have struggled with what I now know is intrusive thoughts. But, luckily for me they were a little calmer than what I’ve experienced now. They were the occasional worrying that my boyfriend died but I would get over it rather quickly. Well, in may of 2024, I had just graduated college, was about to get married and about to move out. So, that triggered some switch in my brain and thus began this horrible disease of OCD. My main type has been SO-OCD but I have found some moments that I’ve also struggled with ROCD as well as some existential crisis OCD. I have unfortunately not been able to go to therapy because of money but I am on meds and have been using tips and tricks I’ve found online. My goal is to still go to therapy when I can find the right time. And I, like many of you have months of great “freedom” from the disease; and then, like I find myself now, fall back into its trap. I wanted to share some of the things I’ve experienced with this to see if y’all have experienced the same things and to let you know you are not alone. For reference, I am straight (I am happily married to my wonderful husband). 1. Thoughts from the past: I slightly remember having a thought that I’d be gay when I was around 12-13… that was around the time I actually first figured out what that meant. Even then, I (more easily than now) brushed it off. Continued to have about a million crushes on boys and never thought of it again. But now, with my OCD, I feel “convinced” that that was a sign that I was gay. 2. I have always been a girls girl. Me and my friend have a joke that we are worse than men! Meaning that when we see a pretty girl with a nice body, we stare. We say they are pretty. Never have I ever thought anything of it. It was always from a place of envy and admiration. Never a place of lust or anything along those lines. But NOW. OH! If I even look that direction I feel guilty, I feel like that’s confirmation that I am gay. And even worse- that is one of my compulsions. To look and make myself “prove” I’m not gay. 3. I have lost “feeling” for my partner. I love my husband. More than anything else. I could not live without him. But since this all happened, my emotions and fears have been all over the place that I’ve somewhat lost that feeling. It doesn’t help that I’m on medicine that can have that effect. I have to just remind myself that love isn’t always feelings, it’s a choice. And I choose him every single day. 4. sex life issues: bc/ of the OCD fear as well as my medication, I don’t have much sex drive or pleasure in the bedroom as I did before OCD… and, my OCD likes to convince me that that is because I would be better off with a woman (even tho I don’t want that) and then, OH THEN, I proceed to experience some groinal sensation from that though. So- cue even more “proof” that I am gay. well- that’s all I can think of now. Let me know if any one yall struggle with those. And I hope you know, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS. YOU ARE NOT YOUR OCD 💚
- Date posted
- 16w
hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd
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