- Date posted
- 4y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes yes yes
- Date posted
- 4y
Hi! Thank you for responding 😊. Do you ever feel like your OCD puts a strain on your relationship or makes it harder to feel what you want to feel with your partner?
- Date posted
- 4y
hello! im alix, and i struggle with rocd, as well as hocd. i have a boyfriend, who is aware of the fact that i am in the lgbtq+ community, as well as my ocd and its themes. ocd definitely puts a strain on my relationship with my boyfriend, especially after tense disagreements where all i can think about for days afterward was the argument (despite us closing it in a healthy matter). my rocd gets me extremely anxious, to the point where i get scared of whether not i really love him, and if i’m just using him for ulterior motives. i’m aware this isn’t true, but i cant help but freak out at the notion that i may or may not love the one person i love more than the world. to answer your other question, it definitely makes it harder to feel what i want to feel with my partner. i act the same as i used to before my ocd began, but i’ll always have these underlying thoughts. i just need to learn how to cope with them :)
- Date posted
- 4y
sorry for the long response! if you have any more questions, i’m down to answer them :)
- Date posted
- 4y
@alixacceptance Thank you so much for the response! That must be really difficult. I don’t feel like I have ROCD, but I also struggle with HOCD. I can’t imagine being LGBTQ+ in a straight passing relationship and also having ROCD. I’m so sorry you go through that. Have you found any ERP exercises that are helping you? I’m not sure how you’d go about ERP for ROCD. The issue that I struggle with is mainly that my whole life I have been in same sex relationships and identified as lesbian. A couple years ago, my best friend who also happened to be a guy told me that he was in love with me. And I thought to myself “well, I guess I’ll try it. I didn’t know I liked girls until I tried it, and I do, so maybe after I try to date a guy I’ll actually like it.” So now we’ve been together for 2 years and he is absolutely my best friend and also my safe space. He knows about my OCD and he is the only person that makes me feel okay. But that’s about as far as my feelings for him go. I am not attracted to him and I can’t stay with him anymore because I feel like I’ve led him on for too long and I’m missing out on being in a relationship with someone I want to be with. I don’t know how to break up with him, because I don’t want him to be devastated. And I know he is a huge source of comfort for me and I selfishly don’t want to give that up. But I also feel like being in a relationship with someone who I’m not attracted to may possibly be making my OCD worse in some ways. I’m sorry for the long response! I’m just trying to see if anyone else has ever been in a similar situation that they’d be willing to share.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd
- Date posted
- 19w
TW: SO-OCD. I have been a part of the NOCD community for around 4 years now. I am seeing more and more posts, but I am very rarely seeing people actually commenting, reposting and engaging back. I think I have always had obsessive thoughts, but never knew it was a thing until around 5 years ago. I believe my first theme was Harm OCD, when my little brother was first born in 2007. I used to scream at night as I was so worried he was going to be kidnapped, or he may d*e. I would avoid sleeping at friends house's, my dad's (as my parents had split) as I thought if I wasn't there to protect him then something bad would happen. My mum said she would wake up and I would be asleep net to his cot in the morning (I was only 10 at the time). Fast forward to 2017, where me and my high school boyfriend split up, I convinced myself I may be gay as I no longer wanted to have sex with him (almost found it a chore). I was 16/17. We split up and I lived my 'single' life. Spent my time dating males etc and then myself and my ex got back together in 2018. My intrusive thoughts took a turn for the worst in lockdown, when again may libido decreased significantly, and I didn't feel and ;urge' with my boyfriend sStill current partner). I remember one day, bursting into tears, had a panic attack and cried for hours with the most excruciating anxiety chest pains. I told him and my mum about my thoughts. They are both incredibly supportive and my mu actually told me that she had these thoughts too when she was round 19 and still does now (I also didn't know that COD can be inherited). After about 18 months of the worst mental health, significant weight loss, social thoughts and almost ending my relationship, I started to see light at the end of the tunnel. 2022, things started to get better. My partner and I were in the best place we could have EVER been! Sex life was AMAZING (quality of quantity I mean) and I honestly thought, this was the end. March 2024 I fell pregnant. Again, I had a great pregnancy, sec life was great, was so excited for our future. I have never been one to be bothered about marriage, but kept having this lovely vision of us getting married and our little girl walking down the aisle. Baby girls born in November 2024 and BAM, SO-OCD and ROCD have kicked in. I am now questioning my sexuality again, if I am in the right relationship, am I just 'settling'?, does he deserve me?, am I in denial?, what if we get married and then it turns out I am gay?, I don't want him to propose as I am scared etc. Just relentless every single day. I even question, if any of the conversations I have had with family and friends where they have related to me, were even real or if I made them up for my own comfort, so that I do't feel alone?! I am constantly reviewing past events, as I worry that I wanted to explore my sexuality in university, as I remember having an amazing friendship with a lesbian (who was, I am not afraid to admit, very 'handsome'), and we did flirt, as she did with everyone!! But we never took it any further, it never crossed my mind! I almost don't even get the 'anxiety/'sick' feeling anymore because I am SO used to the thoughts. I don't have an urge to act on my thoughts, but they are also no longer debilitating for me. I just feel exhausted with them. They are ALWAYS there. I have gone down the rabbit hole of avoiding meeting new women friends incase 'I find them attractive', if there is a same sex couple on a program I watch, I automatically avoid. I compare my relationship to others. I saw an insta reel yesterday of a women in her 30's that said 'when you're lay in bed with your husband, searching 'Am I Gay' questionnaires and you decide to divorce and follow your heart' and it was a page dedicated to her helping other mid life adults cope with coming out as gay! It really really really triggered me. I am just exhausted. If anybody else wants to share there story, comment below. It doesn't have to be the same sub types, but just an opportunity to vent!
- Date posted
- 14w
Is anyone here actually gay and has/had sexuality or religious ocd? I don't have it at all haha I'm a lesbian myself without socd or religious ocd but I'm just curious: what's it like and how did you deal with the whole "biggest fear coming true" thing?
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