I’m struggling from so many things at the moment and it’s really fucking scary and isolating. I’m currently dealing with forms of Contamination ocd, Hocd, Just Right ocd Health concern ocd Sexual intrusive thoughts Depersonalisation/derealisation and of course anxiety and depression because of it all. It has I can’t lie made me feel suicidal and I’ve noticed myself not being scared or disturbed by suicide because I’ve thought about it so much. It’s almost become an option in the back of my mind. I currently want to live my life as I know (I’m 19) I have so much more to experience but I feel I can only do that if all this ocd goes away.

This goes out to everyone who’s commented on this, thank you so much since joining this app it has definitely made me feel a little less alone. It’s so nice to see so many people who are going through such difficult times supporting each other. I hope we can all get through this. ❤️

I really appreciate you all replying and offering your support and sharing your stories. Thank you!

Yeah, we all will get through this. Everyone has crisis in life and we have our ones now. We learn so much of this and thanks to that we can later improve our lives in many areas to reduce anxiety and useless worry. Life is up and down, and one must not forget how awesome and beautiful the good times are in life ??❤️?⭐️

@leelea honestly it’s so horrible. I struggle to enjoy so much of the stuff my friends do so easily. Sorry you have to go through this too

@Belll You are not alone! When the worst periods happened for me (some months ago) I felt like you describe in your post. You will get over it but you must seek help! Start to talk with someone you trust at least ? People out there that enjoy their lifes could also have problems from time to time, mental illness isn’t always visible on persons. The right help exists for you ?

Also, don’t wait to start doing things you normally like to do. A huge part in the treatment is to stimulate your mind with good stuff. Even though the negative thoughts could say nothing is funny, all funny things you do will point you in the right direction.

I’m sending you a hug right now ?? OCD is a nightmare. We love you!!!

I get it, fr. @leelea summed it up for me. It’s supposed to be the most fun/carefree time of our lives and I feel like I’m wasting it worrying about things my friends don’t even think about (and go the opposite extreme of being irresponsible)

It will get better if you put in the work in therapy. I had a long list of symptoms when I was at my worst, too. And I did not want to live like that at all. It may be difficult to find, but the right therapist will help with everything and give you the tools you need to live your best life. It’s hard work doing ERP, but it works. Stay strong and seek help.

Me too. I feel so very depressed lately. I’m 19 too. Several forms of OCD, depression, thoughts about suicide as an option to escape and end all of this. I hate it so much, I’d rather be worried/thinking about stuff like grades in college, how to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday, moving out into my first own flat. But instead of this, I’m stuck with terrible thoughts and ideas, depression and anxiety. Every day is challenging. I know that I have to keep going and I want to fight and I want to be hopeful. But it’s hard sometimes.

I’m 22, I feel the same. The last 2 months have been hell. It’s completely taken my life away from me. ‘False Memories’ are making me feel like a horrible person. I can’t be happy, it won’t let me! Over 2 months ago I was the happiest guy ever, then something triggered it and boom...I’m stuck.

I don’t have POCD in the present. Like I don’t have an issue being around kids and don’t have those thoughts My POCD is based on ‘what if’ Memories. Like what if this happened?! It’s based on a Facebook conversation I don’t remember 2 years ago ? Leela, look up Ali Greymond on YT she may help you. But seeking reassurance is honestly the worst thing ever to do

Yes! I had like 20 at once on the same theme. I have cleared them all up but this one is sticking around. But it’s exactly like that. I spent a whole month ruminating and seeking reassurance. Over an event that happened 2 years ago! I’m not seeking reassurance anymore, so I’ve improved a bit. I’m trying, it’s ruined my life at the moment.

@kately thank you so much !!

Me @leelea

It’s really hard when it makes me feel horrible all the time :/

I know what you’re talking about Lewis :/ Try to see it from another perspective; what is telling you that you should feel horrible? Could it be a thought? What is a thought?

@Anndroow that’s a really good point about not waiting to have fun! I’m coming off of a really bad bout of health anxiety rn and I was putting off doing things I like bc I was convinced I couldn’t be happy until I knew I was ok. I still don’t know I’m ok (even w/ my dr’s reassurance) but I felt ok for the first time in weeks today bc I did the things that make me feel like me!

Also I’ve been through pocd (worrying about past interactions and celebs who are under age) as well as worrying people close to me could be pedophiles which kind of takes on an rocd vibe (checking if my friend/crush/etc is a good person or if I have to “cleanse myself” of them)

I had an episode with that shit but overall it has been harm ocd.

Andrew it’s based on ‘memories’ or ‘false memories’. What if this happened etc etc. It’s so difficult!

@Lewis Oh, yeah those thoughts are the most difficult ones.. are you like feeling an excessive guilt for things you’ve done or not even have done? Are you sharing these feelings with someone or talking to a therapist? I bet you can clear things up and get other perspectives. Don’t forget that we are humans and we all make mistakes that we can learn from. But in the moment, I know it’s hard.

Got ya, must feel so exhausting. I know it exists help focused to overcome false memory OCD and this excessive guilt in general. Have you talked to a therapist about this? In your case it might be more processing techniques than ERP. Mindfulness and acceptance is definitely something you should learn and perform ?

I’m just waiting to start some CBT? What is mindfulness? Is acceptance something a therapist would help with?

That’s super awesome, CBT is the therapy form. A therapist will definitely help you with mindfulness and acceptance. There’s a lot of information and youtube videos. But it’s basically about practising on being in the moment and accept all kind of feelings and thoughts without judging them. Just observe and not react. You have to give it some time :)

So you think CBT will help me? :/ I’ve seen stuff on that. It’s improved etc. I just have a constant feeling of shame, guilt, dread, fear etc and it blocks any positive emotions I have out. I’m just on the waiting list. But was debating whether to go private in the meantime

Yes, CBT is a very effective therapy form. Watch this https://youtu.be/cLG_vW57AgA :) Hope you’ll get an appointment soon.

Thank you! I did watch that. Is what she does a form of CBT? That’s the video that kinda stabilised me!

She explained about it and mentioned some of the processing techniques that are used. But when you start the CBT, your therapist will customize your treatment specifically for you within the category of your problems.