I cant fucking sleep haven't spoken with my girl in 3 days after I told her my mistakes i made. Ofc a spike in HOCD. 5 years and I feel absolutely lost. Im scared to see her with someone else and I hurt her with my stupid mistake i regret so bad and wish to make things right.

Yeah ill be honest. I been with my girlfriend for 5 years highschool sweetheart. So many details but in our relationship there were key moments where the relationship could have ended because of arguments we had and it kinda hurt me in a way. Also her mom doesn't like me because im not asian which rubbed me the wrong way and i always told my girlfriend to stand up and say something sometimes and also im very friendly with her family and sometimes the way i act may come across as too much like i laugh loud, talk to everyone in her family gatherings and it seemed like she was embarrassed for me to her boyfriend because i was too outgoing which i love her family which is why i acted that way. When we play games with her family she would bring me down in front of them and it was disrespectful I told her many times. Sometimes I get nervous playing sharades and if I dnt get the game right she would get mad at and talk to me stupid.Also when it came to goals, ambitions, and careers she wasn't really trying to understand what my career is and would also shoot it down which made me not say anything anymore about my career. So one thing led to another this other girl did that but i didn't take far physically and i knew i wasn't going to pull the trigger regardless its still my fault and I wish i didn't do that

@OCD-PROOF So did it feel like this new girl wasn't putting you down like your girlfriend was?

@whatadooo Yes i know i was infatuated, she came off of a 5 year abusive toxic relationship herself. Just right there i knew the dangerous game i played on myself.

@OCD-PROOF Yes,*

Bro i talked to another girl behind her back. Didn't have to tell her. Wasnt thinking it through and fuck i regret it. I smoked weed with this other girl and instantly got paranoid and wanted to leave. Too traumtizing. Out of all this HOCD and ocd in general man

@OCD-PROOF I think it was the right thing to do to the her, man. I'd give your girlfriend some time.

@kory.rozich Thank you so much so far people did tell me i did the right thing i said it in person and told her my wrongs and that i didn't take physically far was just talking but the 3 months shocked which i didnt mean 3 months consistently