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- 4y
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- 4y
confront them about it first, and explain how their behavior is negatively affecting your relationship. cofrontation is always key. i think a good friendship shouldnt go to waste over something that can possibly be fixed. if you arent seeing any changes in their behavior, then it’d be a good call to cut them off
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- 4y
Unfortunately I have spoken to her about this already and she just refuses to change, above all I opened up to her about my ocd and she invalidates it all the time. It does suck to lose their friendship tho
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- 4y
@PinkLotus really sorry to hear that she’s invalidated your ocd - that’s a pretty big red flag
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- 4y
I would also confront them about it before cutting her off, she might genuinely not realize how negative she’s being or that it’s bothering anyone. After that if she isn’t willing to work on it maybe cut her off :)
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- 4y
Thank you for the advice!!
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- 4y
I agree with others. Please confront her bc she might be struggling or not realize it. Last year was hell for me bc of a shit job and getting fired , and getting dumped, finding out I have ocd etc so it was pretty normal to be negative and instead of my best friend explaining the issue and talking with me , i was just left in the dust with no explanation. I’ve even had a friend say I love you but my mind can’t handle your negativity on top of mine so I have to step away from our friendship for a bit
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- 4y
Thank you so much for the advice I wish I could say this isn’t the first time I’ve confronted her but it truly is. :(
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- 4y
@PinkLotus Isn’t fair the way she treats me*
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- 4y
@PinkLotus Some people just aren’t understanding or great friends
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- 4y
I feel ya, I had a friend who was like that. Tbh I just cut em off, just like that no warning. It was hard at first I felt like I was taking it too far , but I feel p good now tbh . It’s hard to “break up “ with a toxic friend but a good way to start is to just block them or stop hitting them up
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- 4y
Yeah you’re right it can be so draining to keep this friend around so it might be best to cut ties
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- 4y
yeah i understand too, i remember that happened to me last year, someone from my class kept messaging me how depressed they were and i tried as much as i could to help them, but they didn’t really message anything other than that and they didn’t really befriend me? i felt odd too trying to establish boundaries
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- 4y
Yup that’s exactly how I feel I can’t set boundaries bc it’s like well we only talk about her anyways?
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- 4y
@PinkLotus it’s hard man, and i’d get told off my by family for not taking the time effort to really be for her as a friend, but the friendship was so one-sided, i was there for her mentally, emotionally and academically - it was at that time where i decided to message her less regularly, cause it was damaging my mental health too
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- 4y
@s Right and it isn’t fair that you’re made to feel that way by your family, you shouldn’t be obligated to keep people around that drain you just because going have history. Hope you’re doing better now
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
im so tired of trying to express my feeling and feeling so dumb. im so angry and my chest hurts from sadness and stress all the time with no one to talk to, this is so lonely. the only friend i had got annoyed with me and said maybe this is happening because i dont listen. i hate this so much and i gained so much weight from stress. i cant look pretty or happy if i tried.
- Date posted
- 18w
I stopped being friends with somebody years ago and still get magical thinking OCD about them (it was over something, not losing contact because we grew up). We were friends for many years, since high school, althought at times even my relatives noticed I was mentally drained every time we met. Like the kind of person that you wish the best for them, but you don't connect anymore and they take all your energy. I see it as toxic, to be honest. How do I erase this person and all my memories of them out of my brain? I get so much anxiety about this
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- 15w
Not directly OCD related, but: The therapist I will be talking to is not yet my official therapist and to keep a long story as short as possible: I’m from Germany, you usually get 1-2 sessions without “signing a contract” to see if you get along, I haven’t signed yet because I honestly want a different therapist but I also don’t want to wait 6 months and this will already be my 4th session with her. This time, me and my best friend will both attend at the same time since we’ve had ongoing and reoccurring issues for the past 6 months in our friendship, including confusing romantic feelings on my behalf and an overall misunderstanding and misinterpretation of each others feelings towards each other. We both recently graduated and she already knows what university she will be attending (somewhat pretty far away from mine) and even if I wanted to I most likely can’t live near her or attend the same uni. I don’t know how to explain this, but I have been grieving part of our friendship for the past year and the first time I felt like something was off was about 1 1/2 years ago. We haven’t been friends for that long (about 2 1/2 years) but we became very close friends very quickly and I do not want to lose her. However, I do feel like she has changed. Not personality wise but in her attitude towards emotions and friendship? We used to talk so much more and everything felt happier in the beginning as it does now. Obviously our friendship has had its hardships in the last 6 months (she liked/likes(?) a boy, I liked/like(?) her, she used to like be but only in the beginning of our friendship) but I miss our conversations and picknicks and just hanging out with her like normal. We also hat a time in which we didn’t talk to each other for almost 2 months and NOTHING about this made anything easier. I’m genuinely trying to detach myself from her like she did with me but nothing works. Last week we had our high school grad ceremony and we danced and when I held her hands to guide her through the people dancing, I felt those stupid butterflies again and I genuinely don’t know what to do. Sometimes I think I wouldn’t even befriend now her if we were strangers, but we made so many memories and I hate change and graduating, moving away from ALL of my friends and losing the best friend I ever had is too much for me. I get so jealous thinking about how she is going to met new friends at uni and finding a partner and forgetting about me. And I don’t know how to say any of this tomorrow because my therapist honestly doesn’t seem to care about anything I say and neither does my friend. Everytime I say that I feel like there is an issue we need to solve or talk about she just shakes it off. I feel helpless.
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