Need some encouragement today. Im 48 and just started experiencing symptoms of intrusive thoughts in March. Then had an anxiety attack. My first. In April and sense have need hyperfocused on my breathing. I know its automatic. Now I have constant stomach aches due to anxiety The breathing is the worse There is no need for me to focus on that In feeling like gonna lose this battle. I'm tired. Everything was good in life in March. Although I have been under stress. Have I gone insane.

I can remember the day I started having intrusive thoughts. I was so confused and scared. It’s been almost 3 months- does it get easier to manage? Currently taking medication and going to therapy, but this is all still very new, and very scary. Please tell me there’s relief in recovery..? I tend to isolate myself from my family, often. I’m tired, so so tired. :( Most days, I just stay on the couch or in bed. I don’t quite get as anxious, but like a “heart stopping” gut feeling when a thought pops up. I miss the me I was before the diagnosis. HOCD is scary and harder when it attacks the loved ones, spouse, in your home. :( My heart hurts.

I will preface by saying I am not diagnosed OCD, as I can't afford to see therapists or psychiatrists at this time. But given the things I've gone through, I'm pretty much convinced it's what I'm dealing with. I never really saw it coming. As a kid I always had health issues. Sick all the time, spent a lot of my very young years in and out of hospitals. In recent years as I've become an adult, health anxiety started creeping in. I spent my teenage years depressed, anxious and suicidal, both passively and actively. I engaged in self destructive behaviors in an attempt to end my life quicker. I left a toxic home environment and began my journey to improve my life, as I have a significant other that I want to stay on this planet for. I began lifting weights and exercising, eating better, and attempting to improve myself day by day. I didn't even realize it happening, but over time I started caring more and more about my health. Avoiding certain foods, making my diet stricter, and ensuring I did the right things. While it was good for my body in the short term, long term it seems it really affected my mental. As I started to feel better, I noticed that the times where I wasn't feeling 100% were very stressful. I'd start to worry about developing diseases. Diabetes, appendicitis, cancer, any number of rare and deadly diseases i could discover on Google. It got worse and worse as time went on. I'd spend money on things to test my body. glucose monitor, thermometer, supplements to ensure I was healthy. mental compulsions began (which i didn't know where compulsions at the time). Well, it all culminated at its peak in the last few months. Every minor bodily symptom, no matter how normal or common or frequent, became a life threatening warning. Constant googling, ruminating, checking and reassurance seeking, which at the time I didn't know was what I was doing. Then, at the end of May, I did get sick. And suddenly all of my obsessions and compulsions solidified themselves as real and premonitions that were true. I started spiraling. Avoiding social events, or anything that was outside of my room. Barely managing to go to work some days. Bringing my compulsions to work as well, sneaking them in when I could. Every day was anxiety riddled. I became exhausted. Sleeping for 10 hours, waking up still tired, coming home having no energy to do anything. It convinced me even more that I was getting sick again. I was getting suicidal again and contemplating it very often. I then noticed my Instagram feed getting filled more and more with OCD related posts and ads, I guess i was unconsciously finding and engaging with them. They described exactly what I was going through, and still am going through. I'm on day 4 of my recovery after learning some ways to help myself. I'm catching my thought patterns, learning to allow the uncertainty, and avoiding my avoidant tendencies. I removed the batteries from my compulsions and put them out of sight. I still am learning my mental compulsions and how to deal with them. I'm engaging with the things I would avoid now despite how I feel. I'm still riddled with anxiety and the OCD thoughts are very loud and frequent. But I'm feeling more in control and like I can handle the thoughts better. I'd love any advice people can give as well. I want my life back.

Hi, I have been under extreme stress since about March this year, and from that started suffering from very bad health anxiety which has caused panic attacks etc. I’m in the middle of a spiral right now though because I am certain I have stomach cancer. I am 31 and female. Last week I had a very good few days anxiety wise and almost felt like myself. But on Sunday morning I woke up having to rush to the bathroom (TMI sorry) and felt very nauseous. I am emetophobic so this scared me too. Since then I have been having bad stomach cramps, had to rush to the toilet once a day, and some nausea. I have no appetite at all (last week I had a very good appetite but this week I am having to force myself to eat). I am thinking about my symptoms constantly which I think might be making them worse. I have had a bowel screening done which was clear so no blood, and a calprotectin which was very slightly raised at 53, but my GP said she wasn’t concerned about it but would refer me for further testing if I wanted. So I do have more tests booked but not for some months yet. I’m just really scared because of the stomach cramps, nausea, and having to rush to the bathroom once a day for five days now. I have also had bad acid reflux but that only tends to happen when I have taken propranolol. I also have IBS so maybe my anxiety has flared it up but I’m not convinced. I’m just so scared to the point I can’t leave the house and I have been lay in bed for five days thinking about my symptoms and that I could have stomach cancer. I have also been referred for CBT in the near future to help deal with this, but I’m scared that I’m brushing something off as anxiety and giving time for the illness to spread. I just feel constantly scared. I thought I’d had a breakthrough last week but this has just hit me like a tonne of bricks. Has anyone else dealt with anything like this? I just want to feel okay again I am freaking out so bad