I'm scared; it's 4 o'clock in the morning I can't sleep because of my intrusive thoughts and somatic ocd. And of course because I'm not sleeping I'm experiencing dizziness and anxiety. I have no support; people around me don't understand. I don't know what to do anymore. It's a nightmare.

Thanks for your response; I actually have valerian but I'm scared to take it because I'm already feeling dizzy.

@Schuitemaker I know how you feel. I'm hypersensitive to all body functions. have you ever had your vitamin d levels or magnesium levels checked? those both contribute to ruminating thoughts, depression, anxiety and sleep problems. I fixed mine and it's made a huge difference.

@Lindsey3 I actually haven't. I do take vitamine d supplements in high doses so I can't imagine that being deficient, but magnesium I don't know about. I share your hypersensitivity. How are you dealing with it now? It's so hard to talk about it with people because they just don't understand. All they say is, just let go, forget about it, move on. They actually don't understand that that's literally all I want but just having an extremely hard time to. There are periods I go sometimes for months with barely symptoms; but at moments with less distractions it all comes back. I hate it.

@Schuitemaker I know 10000% how that feels. may I ask why you take high doses of vitamin d? were you tested as low?

@Lindsey3 I was tested fee years back and was little bit deficient. But ever since corona I was cooked up at home and I've read that having vitamine D was good to take in case I'd get corona. So therefore I took a higher dose than normal.

@Schuitemaker I gotcha do you remember your level? mine was basically non-existent I had to taks 50k IU for 3 months to get it half way up almost to optimal. I found that dairy and gluten can make your vitamin d receptors weak. "normal" doses are 1k to 2k IU daily, with thyroid issues or gut issues 5k or more is needed daily. just make sure you are not taking too much

@Lindsey3 I'm taking 10k IU. But the levels I don't remember just that it's was slightly deficient.

@Schuitemaker ok be careful cause 10k every day is waaay too much...if I was taking 50k 1 time a week for 12 weeks. what do you think 70k per week would do for however long you've been taking it. be careful. have your doctor check and make sure you don't have too much. too much vitamin d can do similar to having too little.

Thank you so much; that means a lot. It's hard feeling safe when the people around you just don't understand the struggle.

Well I'm a bit on the fence concerning ERP but willing to try anything at this point. I have a meeting with my therapist on Tuesday, so I'll see what she says. Also; I don't know if erp is as effective with hyperawareness on body functions (somatic ocd). But I really need help so I'll try anything.

@Schuitemaker ya I don't think it is that effective. for me the stimuli or health issue has to be removed to heal or not obsess

@Lindsey3 Yeah I was reading something about rumination focused erp which doesn't focus on the exposing part (because in the opinion of Dr. Michael J greenberg that's the compulsion). He was talking about separating the awareness and attention. He goes very in depth about it on his website. I might try that out first.