- Username
- Anonymous
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Username
- flore122flore122
- Date posted
- 3y ago
A family member of mine has this. Ultimately, they had to work on their fear of abandonment (understanding where it stemmed from, the trauma it caused, and understanding that jealousy is a feeling when u think someone has something that you don’t have. Ultimatly the way to combat it is to stop ruminating over it and just sitting with all the thoughts and possibilities.
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you!!
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I deal with this as well. I found out a lot about my partners past and it hurt me so bad to know there was others (we were on and off a lot and he wasn’t the greatest) I knew always there was other girls but I never knew for sure and finding it out hurt but I’m with him and we are committed and serious. So I try to focus on that more. That if it wasn’t for any of those things then we wouldn’t be here today. I don’t know, I’m still trying though. I get super jealous and angry that anyone else got to feel anything from him that I have felt but that is life too u know? I have a past too.
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you! That’s true. I have a past too it’s just hard when I obsess over his
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Anonymous I get that. Today is a hard day with those thoughts for me. I hope us both the best. We have to remember they love us and no matter what has happened in the past, it brought us together today.
- Username
- Jazmine_LeighJazmine_Leigh
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Anonymous Ikr ;( I love him sm I just keep obsessing over this past thing like it makes me jealous and also just anxious.. yk when you can’t find a reason why you have anxiety over something or it upsets you, it just does and you don’t like the truth about the past and you wanna change it but can’t. It’s like I just need reassurance and I know that sounds bad and I shouldn’t but that’s my plan today…
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Jazmine_Leigh Yeah I definitely feel that. I sometimes act out a conversation I’d have with him to get an answer. I went snooping and found out a lot and we almost broke up. He told me to not mention his past again because he isn’t that person anymore. (We were on and off he wasn’t the best lol) but he’s changed so I need to appreciate that. I think asking for that reassurance will only build more dependency on it, it’s like a compulsion where we will feel better after but it will only last for so long. I feel like we have to sit with the fact that those things happened and it doesn’t reflect how they feel about us. I’m sorry ur going through this :( I love my bf so much too I’m grateful but anxiety/depression and ocd can take over sometimes but we have to remember they’re lies!!
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Jazmine_Leigh I know exactly what you mean. I get instantly triggered and upset and can’t be in the moment and it ruins perfectly good moments with my partner. So it’s ironic actually. Because he’s not even thinking about his past and is trying to enjoy the present with me but I ruin it with thoughts of his past girls
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
And the hard part is he was my boyfriend in high school so we were each other’s first everything’s and then we broke up for a bit so we were with other people and now back again so it’s hard
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y ago
OMG REALLY? Lol do we just become best friends holy shit. Me and my bf been on and off for three years but met in high school (I’m 24) and he did stuff and I did stuff and now we’re both like wtf! He got over mine but I can’t get over his! And I understand the can’t be in the moment thing, I overthink too much if I’m good enough even since there were other girls, it makes me feel un worthy even though he literally chose me and were dating. So oooof I get that they’re enjoying the present and we live in the past thing
- Username
- Jazmine_LeighJazmine_Leigh
- Date posted
- 3y ago
OMG THAT WAS ME TOO!!
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Anonymous Omg that’s so funny it’s the same! Ahha! I’m 25 and we had several years a part but then got back together. And I was in two serious relationships and hook ups and he didn’t even have a girlfriend after me but slept with 5 other people and that’s more than most of my friends boyfriends have been with so no one relates
- Username
- Jazmine_LeighJazmine_Leigh
- Date posted
- 3y ago
YESSS
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I don’t know how to heal this possessiveness insecurity and jealousy and the mental loops
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
And I wonder how much better our relationship would be if I didn’t constantly ruin it with this rj obsessing
- Username
- Jazmine_LeighJazmine_Leigh
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Yeah no I literally get you, I’m gonna talk to my bf today and I know Imma ask him questions but he’s used to it now where he won’t leave me cuz of it but it’s like I know it’s not good but still do it
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Jazmine_Leigh I asked more questions today too and it led to a fight 😣😣😣
- Username
- Jazmine_LeighJazmine_Leigh
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Anonymous Yeah mine did too… where he said some hurtful stuff cuz it was hours of questions
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y ago
:/ I fucked up and I went through his phone a month ago and I found messages of him calling me easy and that he was lonely and that’s why he was with me in the beginning of us talking again. I didn’t tell him I saw that because he already got so mad at me for snooping cuz I found out helllla shit he did before we became official… he has practically turned his whole image around for me and changed and I dug into the past and he almost left me because I broke that trust for no reason. I regret it cuz I knew he did shit and knowing for sure added more questions for me and seeing him talk down on me made me mad but again, I was very skeptical in the beginning anyway and said some awful stuff about him too since we were VERY toxic back then. I’m having trouble believing this is different this time around like hmmm is this real? Even tho it is :/ it’s so annoying. So I ruminate about if I deserve him even and if he’s with me just cuz I was his last option since the others didn’t work out. Even tho I know for a fact he just wanted to be single & have fun and probably got tired of it and came to me IDKKKK I HATE THIS LOL
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I hate the not knowing all the details part. Like I wanna know all the details of my partners past
Related posts
- Username
- P
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Does anyone want to share their thoughts on Relationship OCD? I am new here and have obsessive jealousy (ie I obsess that my partner is always cheating on me and have to check on him constantly). It’s really been hard on me and my boyfriend and I’m struggling to do the exposures..
- Username
- junelle
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Is retroactive jealousy a part of ROCD? Either way I’ve been dwelling on 1 particular person from my partners past tho they are not at all in his present and I think I took it to the breaking point. My partner feels like nothing they do resolves that retroactive jealousy and I don’t blame him because sometimes I feel like I’m just such a deeply bitter and insecure person that I’m just not capable of forgiving and forgetting. This might be the end ? I pushed a caring person to the breaking point
- Username
- decs00046
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Anyone else on here struggling with retroactive jealousy OCD? Would also love to hear from people who are making progress with it, or feel they've got over it?
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