[Deleted]
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flore122flore122
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A family member of mine has this. Ultimately, they had to work on their fear of abandonment (understanding where it stemmed from, the trauma it caused, and understanding that jealousy is a feeling when u think someone has something that you don’t have. Ultimatly the way to combat it is to stop ruminating over it and just sitting with all the thoughts and possibilities.
AnonymousAnonymous
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I deal with this as well. I found out a lot about my partners past and it hurt me so bad to know there was others (we were on and off a lot and he wasn’t the greatest) I knew always there was other girls but I never knew for sure and finding it out hurt but I’m with him and we are committed and serious. So I try to focus on that more. That if it wasn’t for any of those things then we wouldn’t be here today. I don’t know, I’m still trying though. I get super jealous and angry that anyone else got to feel anything from him that I have felt but that is life too u know? I have a past too.
AnonymousAnonymous
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@Anonymous I get that. Today is a hard day with those thoughts for me. I hope us both the best. We have to remember they love us and no matter what has happened in the past, it brought us together today.
Jazmine_LeighJazmine_Leigh
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@Anonymous Ikr ;( I love him sm I just keep obsessing over this past thing like it makes me jealous and also just anxious.. yk when you can’t find a reason why you have anxiety over something or it upsets you, it just does and you don’t like the truth about the past and you wanna change it but can’t. It’s like I just need reassurance and I know that sounds bad and I shouldn’t but that’s my plan today…
AnonymousAnonymous
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@Jazmine_Leigh Yeah I definitely feel that. I sometimes act out a conversation I’d have with him to get an answer. I went snooping and found out a lot and we almost broke up. He told me to not mention his past again because he isn’t that person anymore. (We were on and off he wasn’t the best lol) but he’s changed so I need to appreciate that. I think asking for that reassurance will only build more dependency on it, it’s like a compulsion where we will feel better after but it will only last for so long. I feel like we have to sit with the fact that those things happened and it doesn’t reflect how they feel about us. I’m sorry ur going through this :( I love my bf so much too I’m grateful but anxiety/depression and ocd can take over sometimes but we have to remember they’re lies!!
[Deleted][Deleted]
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AnonymousAnonymous
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OMG REALLY? Lol do we just become best friends holy shit. Me and my bf been on and off for three years but met in high school (I’m 24) and he did stuff and I did stuff and now we’re both like wtf! He got over mine but I can’t get over his! And I understand the can’t be in the moment thing, I overthink too much if I’m good enough even since there were other girls, it makes me feel un worthy even though he literally chose me and were dating. So oooof I get that they’re enjoying the present and we live in the past thing
Jazmine_LeighJazmine_Leigh
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OMG THAT WAS ME TOO!!
Jazmine_LeighJazmine_Leigh
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YESSS
[Deleted][Deleted]
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Jazmine_LeighJazmine_Leigh
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Yeah no I literally get you, I’m gonna talk to my bf today and I know Imma ask him questions but he’s used to it now where he won’t leave me cuz of it but it’s like I know it’s not good but still do it
Jazmine_LeighJazmine_Leigh
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@Anonymous Yeah mine did too… where he said some hurtful stuff cuz it was hours of questions
AnonymousAnonymous
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:/ I fucked up and I went through his phone a month ago and I found messages of him calling me easy and that he was lonely and that’s why he was with me in the beginning of us talking again. I didn’t tell him I saw that because he already got so mad at me for snooping cuz I found out helllla shit he did before we became official… he has practically turned his whole image around for me and changed and I dug into the past and he almost left me because I broke that trust for no reason. I regret it cuz I knew he did shit and knowing for sure added more questions for me and seeing him talk down on me made me mad but again, I was very skeptical in the beginning anyway and said some awful stuff about him too since we were VERY toxic back then. I’m having trouble believing this is different this time around like hmmm is this real? Even tho it is :/ it’s so annoying. So I ruminate about if I deserve him even and if he’s with me just cuz I was his last option since the others didn’t work out. Even tho I know for a fact he just wanted to be single & have fun and probably got tired of it and came to me IDKKKK I HATE THIS LOL
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