- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 4y
YUP 100%
- Date posted
- 4y
I mean my boyfriend and I have always been close physically just not mentally recently. Maybe that’s what you’re saying and if that’s what you’re saying that makes a shit ton of sense
- Date posted
- 4y
Also it’s the curiosity that’s eating me up. Like “what if I went out with this guy and dumped my boyfriend would it be better or worse?” And it’s like I’m so curious and that I wanna try it just to see how it would go but at the same time I think my boyfriend could change and who knows, that guy I’m curious about could really be a loser like my friends claim he is.
- Date posted
- 4y
@bleh:| It’s been over a week I’ve been thinking about this idiot all because he tried to like and comment on my photos and ever since then he’s been on my mind and I kept feeling bad that I friendzoned him yet I know he’s not a fit match for me yet he won’t leave my mind so I can fix what’s wrong with me and my boyfriend
- Date posted
- 4y
@bleh:| Yeah I want the temptations to stop. I won’t go on social media anymore unless it’s to post me and my boyfriend so no one will ask to hang out with me. I don’t like these thoughts and I don’t know why I’m thinking of that guy. I know it’s because of what’s going on but the temptation sucks
- Date posted
- 4y
@bleh:| Wait do you think my boyfriends wrong for me or that wierd friend I used to have?
- Date posted
- 4y
@bleh:| Yup. I think he is yet he won’t escape my mind and I want him gone. I know I love my boyfriend and I can’t love two people
- Date posted
- 4y
@bleh:| It’s just so messed up that I’m so curious and wanting to know what it would be like to be with him instead. It’s so messed up and I barely know the kid more than his brothers death and stuff. Like I barely knew the kid outside of school. All this is making me so curious and it’s awful
- Date posted
- 4y
@bleh:| Like I legit friendzoned him for years and all of a sudden I’m curious about him yet I knew I was never into him to begin with. All because he liked a photo on my social media I started to think about him. Isn’t that insane?
- Date posted
- 4y
@bleh:| Also my boyfriend after we fought he told me “listen I wanna take you on a trip this September I’m buying us tickets and you don’t have to pay me back if we break up” because I told him “I’m in the midst of not being able to trust you and fully love you the way you’ve been treating me I feel we shouldn’t go cause what if we break up. I’m still mad at you” and he was like “you don’t have to pay me back. If I have to go without you I’ll go without you But lemme buy me your ticket.” Idk what to say or think
- Date posted
- 4y
@bleh:| I’m thinking “wait does he really want this to work?” Or “does he just wanna go so badly he doesn’t care and is willing to splurge a ticket on me and if I don’t go he’ll just give it to one of his friends if we dump eachother.” Like my brain doesn’t wanna accept that he’s probably being genuinely nice with me
- Date posted
- 4y
@bleh:| I remember three years ago I left an ex of mine after he left me twice and I was labeled a cheater and a asshole yet I was pushed by my anxiety and friends to do it. I fell for a guy I barely knew but we were just friends, he ended up dying of an OD and I ended up back with my ex who cheated the whole time and dumped me again. I don’t wanna end up in that situation again. I know my current boyfriend isn’t like my ex but I’m scared I’m gonna end up falling for someone else to “escape” and be labeled a cheater or asshole when I’m not. I’m just stressed.
- Date posted
- 4y
@bleh:| OCD makes everything hard to choose it’s as if I don’t have choices
- Date posted
- 4y
@bleh:| Cause I feel wrong no matter what
- Date posted
- 4y
I feel you sweetie, I’m so sorry for your pain. It’s going to be hard no matter what you do. Even if the road ahead brings peace, the beginning steps to any road may be the hardest most excruciating :( What about couples therapy? You have to go with your gut though in the end. I don’t know if you should break up or not. I don’t know if your gut is your gut or your anxiety. I just don’t know because I have the same self doubts. Just know I’m praying for you to find peace. Xo Lisa
- Date posted
- 4y
Actually my boyfriend suggested this a while ago to save us and my friends too
- Date posted
- 4y
So I thank you for that advice
- Date posted
- 4y
❤️😊 wonderful! I hope it helps! If not, what I did with mine was break things up :( but I wish we had had the option to do therapy as a couple
- Date posted
- 4y
Will you guys get back together?
- Date posted
- 4y
Also what if the therapy doesn’t work? I wanna do this but not spend crazy amounts of money just in case it doesn’t work
- Date posted
- 4y
I personally believe my boyfriend has more pros than cons since I wrote everything I liked and everything that bothered me down. I came up with 8 cons and 12 pros so far. Hopefully I can outweight the 8 cons and come up with way more than 12 pros.
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m thinking about writing all the good and bad things about him because I know there are lots of good things about my man. I really can’t believe I’m falling for a “friend” that I friendzoned for years over my boyfriend and idk why I’m into him all of a sudden and my female friends know that guy friend is ego driven and a loser and feel my boyfriend is a good guy deep down and I think he is too but is just too insecure to pick my side and defend me and sometimes gaslights or lies because ge fears I’ll judge him or he’ll try to use these tactics to defuse an argument since he’s extremely scared of arguments
- Date posted
- 4y
I know my boyfriend is a good guy so idk why I’m writing all this …. Could it just be I’m just angry or upset that we are falling apart? Is there hope?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Long story short he’s one of many subjects of my ROCD intrusive thoughts (i’m in a committed relationship) but we were once decent friends in college. We’re mutuals online bc we’re both artists. I recently ran into him while visiting campus, tried to reach out to catch up and got ghosted after expressing that I can sense he doesn’t care for the friendship (he kept flaking and I’m worth more than that lol). Told my bf, he seems indifferent . But he also doesn’t know how bad my ROCD can get. Should I just cut the dude off? I feel that’d provide a quick temporary relief from the ROCD problems, but I also am sad for the friendship. He helped and supported my bf and I’s relationship when no one else did. Plus he’s not the source of the ROCD, my brain is. Cutting out every trigger won’t fix it.
- Date posted
- 20w
I know it’s long but plz read :( have been having really bad ocd about my relationship and my partner and it has gotten worse and worse over the span of like about nine months I’d say. I do acknowledge there are flaws and legit issues about him and the relationship like there are with anyone but I also know ocd has clouded my judgement and perception by analyzing everything and compulsions. For a while I kept feeling this need to get out which I know was ocd. I was really scared to spend the weekend with him because I thought I would just be annoyed and irritated cause it’s been that way for a while but he also was going through a period of high stress so maybe I was resenting him for that and I also wasn’t communicating how I should have been when I was upset because I’ve done that too much in the past. This weekend I was told in therapy to just be in the moment and not have to worry about trying to answer the question of do I love him or should I break up. It did help but It’s weird cause this weekend ended up better but I also was kind of numb? Like I was enjoying myself but didn’t feel what I always have felt in the past? Anyway, I am really anxious because i feel like if I loved him I would be supportive of when his parents compliment him or when he does well at something when instead all I think of are that I’m not happy or annoyed because of things he does that upset me or make me mad and it’s like that’s the only way my brain wants to see him as a person. Or when he is upset it feels like I don’t care like I used to because I think of how he doesn’t deserve this when he does this or he shouldn’t have this when he is like this etc. Why does my brain automatically go there? That’s horrible! I feel like I should be excited for him, rooting for him. But it also feels like I do care for him? But my thoughts keep changing. I am afraid I only am with him because I love that he loves me and how he treats me. This makes me feel selfish cause I can’t do that. I notice I still like when he cuddles me and is sweet to me and does fun things watching movies etc. And that’s not how it used to feeel which scares me because I don’t want to be without him. I also love his parents am I only with him cause of how his parents treat me? I feel so selfish and like I have to tell him and break up with him cause it’s the right thing to do. I never used to feel like this. I’m scared. Is it possible I’m just I’ve been mad and resenting how it’s been cause he’s been stressed mix with my ocd? My therapist said relationships can go through phases. Can I fall back in love with him again? I feel like I have to try to start with someone else like this is too far gone. I don’t want to stay in something where I don’t feel toward him the way I want to but I really don’t want to leave him. I feel like such an awful person cause he doesn’t deserve this and is so caring and loving despite everything the major thing that bugs me is how he gets irritable a lot which is an imperfection that makes me get anxious and question him😭 trying not to read into this and just follow what the therapist said but this is scaring me because I feel like if I loved him I wouldn’t think like this or feel like this.
- Date posted
- 19w
I have had ROCD in my relationship for a while and I’ve always been having the feeling do I break up so I not but even with the anxiety I still felt love and knew I didn’t want to be without him. But now it feels different. What scares me is it feels like I could actually see myself wanting to date someone else because of qualities he doesn’t have. I keep seeing him as overall bad. For more context he is caring, generous, we are very similar, but have different communication styles and talking issues out is hard for him. He also can be irritable easily, he doesn’t like talking things out that much and there’s a bit of a maturity difference which I know is sometning that can grow. Lately I feel like when I’m around him I am just frustrated with how he is acting like when he does something that upsets me like makes a joke about something he knows isn’t funny and bothersome to me, he’ll say sorry but then end up doing it again. Even though I know he really does care about me which I know it feels like he only cares about him doing wrong like he doesn’t want to do wrong instead of actually wanting to fix my feelings being hurt cause when he asks if I’m upset and I say yes he will get upset and try to be defensive and it makes me feel he cares more about being wrong. I also have had less empathy toward him which really scares me because I am a very empathetic person but I am hoping it’s just cause of bad ocd and built frustrations. Also, I do know cause he has told me and I’ve seen it that he always wants to impress his parents and not make them mad because they pick at him the minute he does wrong. This is probably why it’s hard to talk things out but lately I have been feeling like I can’t say anything cause he will just get more anxious or shut down or not want to hear it. Anyway, what makes me anxious is it feels like I don’t feel anything anymore and my brain is saying the only reason why I get anxious thinking of not being together is because I hate change and cause he is the first person I’m with. But I keep going back and forth. It’s so hard to be around him now. All I’m trying to think of is evidence that I still love him or the good things about him. I’m really afraid this isn’t ocd and that it has just morphed into it just isn’t working anymore. Some feelings like less love feel real but also ocd gets in between everything and it’s so fuzzy. I am afraid deep down I really know. My brain keeps saying I can’t be with him anymore cause I can’t be with someone if I feel like this about him. Meaning if I don’t have empathy for him cause I’m frustrated or whatever and if all I can see his bad even though I know there is good. It also says if I was with someone else that was a little nicer or could talk things out or whatever imaginary scenario in my head I wouldn’t feel like this😭 and I love the family and it keeps saying I’m only staying cause of the family. And some of this I’m like wait that might be true and I have to rest and review and I’m exhausted. And one minute I want to leave the next I don’t….im worried the only reason I am with him is cause of how great things were or cause he loves me and not me loving him.
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