OCDewewew
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Sequoia86Sequoia86
- Date posted
- 4y
I have a close friend at work who is black. He's genuinely one of my closest confidants. He has helped me get to know the place I work in, and the area I now live in (I moved 3 years ago). He watches out for me, and takes care of me. I have gotten to know him and to understand the background he came from, and I am honored to be his friend. I would trust him with my life. Unfortunately, I also have intrusive thoughts of intentionally or unintentionally saying horrible things to him, including racial slurs. Its extremely distressing.
OCDewewewOCDewewew
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
These thoughts always seem to attach onto the ones who hold near and dear to our hearts. OCD is evil.
TommygdawgTommygdawg
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
This is pretty cut and dry OCD right here from my experience. Also from my experience, the best we can do is ERP with these like any other thoughts.
OCDewewewOCDewewew
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah it just feels really convincing. I even researched one thought I had and turns out it’s a valid thought and I’m probably blowing it wayyyy out of proportion, but it still is distressing Bc I absolutely don’t wanna think these things.
TommygdawgTommygdawg
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
And also remembering that having the thought doesn't define who you are, just like having a harm thought doesn't make you a harmful person.
pika14pika14
- Date posted
- 4y
I struggle with that. “What if I say something racist” etc
feethebeefeethebee
- Date posted
- 4y
i have in the past
OCDewewewOCDewewew
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
How in the world did you differentiate the real thoughts you believe from ocd being a straight bitch?
theopruetheoprue
- Date posted
- 4y
perhaps! would you be comfortable with elaborating? :) if not, no worries! i'd imagine what i've experienced might be similar, so yes.
OCDewewewOCDewewew
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
It’s just racist thoughts that come into my head and send me into panic. I then delve into if I actually believe these thoughts or not, then I end up convincing myself I do of course. And then I confess and confess and confess.
OCDewewewOCDewewew
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@Lovepurple And I genuinely cannot tell if I think these thoughts. And sometimes I catch myself trying to justify the thought in case I do really think that. And that sends me into a further panic.
theopruetheoprue
- Date posted
- 4y
@Lovepurple 100% right there with you in that case. it's so stressful to not know which part of you that's coming from! especially if you're informed and somewhat educated on racism/racial injustices, the guilt and confusion and panic can be overwhelming. i feel ya, friend. you're certainly not alone here! 🖤
OCDewewewOCDewewew
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@theoprue Ugh ir sucks! And I am a full supporter of BLM and equality. So these thoughts stress me out to the max, especially when I think theyre coming from my own mind and I go and try to justify them. Like I need this to stop.
theopruetheoprue
- Date posted
- 4y
@Lovepurple in my book, as long as you're not projecting these wack-ass thoughts on the world around you, if you can separate yourself from the thoughts enough to not let them bleed into your actions, then you're on the right track, you're doing the right thing. just keep trying to better yourself, whatever that looks like, and be kind to yourself while you work on it :)
fiji_waterfiji_water
- Date posted
- 4y
i have issues with this and it i hate it. whenever i go out and see a non white person my mind screams at me that I'm going to say a slur or something insensitive. I feel so bad because i think so much about I'm worried that because i think so much about it I'm gonna end up actually saying it and really hurting someone
ashleybooashleyboo
- Date posted
- 4y
I freaked out once thinking I was gonna be damn to hell because I didn’t like my mixed ex boyfriend when I was with him
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