My ocd is trying to convince me that I don’t love my boyfriend anymore and that I don’t want to be with him when it’s the exact opposite. I love him with my entire heart and I would never want to lose him. Has anyone dealt with this?

Are you trying to work things out with him? Is he a mostly a good or bad guy

@Ang1998 Well we were on & off for 3 years (mainly off, never official) he was the one messing up and he changed so much and he’s actually the best boyfriend ever, loyal, honest. We almost broke up because my mental health got bad and I broke his trust by snooping on his phone (and I found nothing new tbh). We’re good and working it out, it’s more I’m depressed/ocd/anxiety and recovering so sometimes I’ll feel super detached from him knowing that’s not my real feelings because I want to marry this man lol

@Anonymous There’s days when I like looking at other men and then feel bad that my relationship is on the rocks and if I left him for someone else I’d feel prolly good at first but then feel hella guilty down the line because I know he’s a good guy. I’m just wicked stressed out and wanna escape his family torment and his insecurities but I know I had a duty to fulfill. I wanna be happy and escaping might make me feel happy …. At first, but will I in the end? That’s why I’ve been trying to find ways to stay even tho I’m sad and going through a mental health crisis, and I feel like I should go and move on, but if he loves me then why should I? Yes I deserve to be happy and my friends told me I deserve to be happy and not deal with his baggage but idk anymore. I’m on the fence and idk if it’s OCD anymore or not. I feel lost

@Anonymous In also very depressed over thinking whether to decide what’s best or not. Currently in bed sad right now

@Ang1998 Hmmmm… well that’s definitely different from what I explained. When I think of him being out of my life, I feel empty. I know it’d be my biggest regret. I just have huge insecurities and think I’m not good enough, so I’m working on myself. BUT it sounds like he may be dragging you down? Correct me if I’m wrong of course. Love isnt the only thing that should make you stay. It’s a huge part but there’s much more. Maybe instead of leaving for good, take some space/time apart for even a week or two and see how that feels without him? Sometimes we have to let things go to see how that makes us feel.

@Anonymous He’s not dragging me down. His family tho is kinda toxic

@Anonymous Like it’s not him personally really

@Anonymous But my family is toxic too I just don’t talk to them

@Anonymous He’s a good guy and started defending me a lot with his family and has been supporting me trying to get me through this. He has flaws that I hate but that’s just 10% of the 90% of drama that’s happening. His family is like the 80% of the problem. My family I barely talk to so they are the 10% I don’t give a fuck about what they say

@Anonymous He doesn’t wanna lose me so he keeps trying to get his sister and me to get along when you can’t force someone with anger problems to get along with me. He wants us to work so badly and how he genuinely wants to be at my level because he views me as a valid role model for his life. He has told me he wants to reach my level and be the father of my children. He even talked about marrying me. I am not sure if I’m making the right decision if I choose to go with this. Because part of me wants to see what else is out there and the other part of me wants to stay because I care for him. My OCD or whatever it is is making me indecisive and that’s why I’m so depressed