I’m scared I had an orgasm to an intrusive thought of some disgusting image I saw on tiktok. If I did I don’t think I can live with myself and now I wanna take my own life. My mind was so full of intrusive thoughts it was crazy so I really don’t know what I had an orgasm to

One of the best things I've ever heard (that is backed by science) about this topic is that often, the brain and the body don't match up when it comes to arousal. So you could have thoughts that don't make sense with what is happening in your body, and your body can react is random ways to thoughts or other stimuli. Totally normal. You've got this. You are not your thoughts, they don't get to define you.

The treatment for this type of OCD is literally let the thoughts come and go during sex/ masturbation or bring on the thoughts on intentionally. Whether they cause an orgasm or not is irrelevant. Orgasms mean nothing and sometimes groinal responses can create orgasms, which isn’t even arousal. OCD twists things and loves to give us groinal sensations we don’t want because it’s something to endlessly obsess over. It does not matter in the slightest what thoughts enter your mind during sex/masturbation or whether they lead to an orgasm. The thoughts and bodily sensations are out of your control.

This happens to me to with my wife. I’ll have SOOCD random thoughts come into my mind right around orgasm and it makes me really uncomfortable. I have talked to a lot of people who don’t have OCD and they also say sometimes they have random thoughts during sex too. My wife even once asked me what we should have for dinner during sex 😂🤦🏼‍♂️