An OCD theme of mine is true. This isn’t the OCD telling me this either, it’s definitively true and I have proof of it outside of intrusive thoughts. I don’t know what to do. I feel so horrible and can’t think straight. I feel nauseated and lightheaded and I feel like I’m in a sick horror movie where I’m forced to watch myself act in ways I can’t control and don’t want, but I’m powerless against it. All I want to do is kill myself or hurt myself. I don’t want to be alive anymore. There’s no point to any of this. I have absolutely nothing and realizing that this theme is true only is showing me that I have even less of a reason to live. I don’t want to exist. I don’t have anything that makes me happy or gives me purpose or makes the pain go away. There’s nothing anymore. Please don’t comment to peddle religion onto me. I have desisted and don’t plan on returning to faith.

rprocter

Date posted: 4y

It may be true but the way you react to it is OCD. You can handle this. Get help. It will work.

Getting there

Date posted: 4y

What help do I have at this point? I’ve attempted suicide before and all it got me was a stint in a mental hospital where the staff were understaffed, indifferent to my needs, and certainly had no experience with OCD. NOCD therapy hasn’t helped, regular therapy hasn’t helped, all the meds I’ve taken haven’t helped, mindfulness hasn’t helped. Nothing can help me.

.ketamine.ki...

Date posted: 4y

I'm thinking of you. This sounds like an intensely painful experience and I'm sorry you're having to manage it without trusted support. You deserve a safe, full life.

Kaye28

Date posted: 4y

Hey, are you okay? We care about you here and are here to support you ❤ you deserve to be happy. I'm so sorry you're having a difficult time but please know that things can get better.

anonymousN

Date posted: 4y

Well what makes you think your theme is true ? And it gets better don’t give up

Getting there

Date posted: 4y

If I reveal that, I would get into specific territory that I’m not comfortable sharing. But it’s from a party separate from myself. It’s not in my head. I’ve already given up, there is nothing that can make this better no matter how much time I throw at it.

🐙

Date posted: 4y

Love, I know there feels like there is nothing left. I know you feel broken beyond belief. But please don’t give up. Call out to a friend or someone to be with you right now. Call the suicide hotline. 18002738255. I have been in your same shoes and I promise, this will not feel this way forever. Sending you so much love right now.

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Don’t do it!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

I’m telling you with all my heart don’t do it. I had a dream once which relates to this…. We can keep talking if you want

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Please talk to me I’m here

Kaye28

Date posted: 4y

How are you feeling today? Please know that we care ❤

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

How are you today?

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