- Username
- Jenna Overbaugh
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 3y ago
How to stop the cycle? If I don’t ruminate I feel like I’m trying to avoid and push down the thoughts (the pink elephant analogy) and I know that doesn’t work.
I feel the exact same, as if I’m suppressing some greater truth hidden inside. But when I don’t ruminate I feel better and more self loving. Then when I try to “solve the problem” and go in analysis mode, I get more and more confused and anxious and blatantly depressed. This is a paradoxical thing we are all dealing with. Like a Chinese finger trap; the less you fight, the easier it becomes to be free.
That’s such a good question!! I think acceptance of the feeling is not actually pushing it away. I’ve heard from pros over and over that trying to solve the issue by thought doesn’t work. So we’re left with watching the thought and feelings and letting them take their own course because we are not our thoughts/feelings.
Meditation helps me a little
@Giosanama That’s exactly what happens to me. Thank you for sharing ☺️
i always tell my mind: yes you are totally right and just go on with what i am doing
Wow! I feel the exact same way, like I am burying a truth! This is so helpful! Obviously, if we all feel this way we are not! Ocd is one tricky mo fo!
@Ronald Very well said! We should start a rumination group or thread
@Ronald I really have to try and sit with this analysis of rumination...I have it but in order to stop the thought processes I have to clean.
@Anonymous Haha, tell me about it!!!
If a thought doesn't serve you, interrupt it. Draw your attention to something else. Say out loud, I don't want to think about this. But what I choose to think about instead is ...
Yup. My ocd involves rumination completely. It's funny no matter how much you go over it in your head there is always that little voice saying, but.....
Rumination is, in my opinion, at the core of all OCD. The trick is to stop trying to solve the problem you feel compelled to analyze.
Absolutely
My biggest compulsion is rumminaton and I can never seem to catch it in time to stop it from happening. It really hurts me
We may not be able to stop it from starting or happening, the important thing is to stop it from going further when we recognize it happening
“Maybe, maybe not.” And then I go back to what I was doing and try to focus on something in the present moment without forcing away the discomfort.
That is a good approach. Sorted even letting emotions instead of bringing thoughts to change the narrative also helps. Cry, laugh, relax, do nothing. Always allow however you feel. Emotions slowly guide you what to do slowly. Keep going and good luck
Is there an answer here
So true! However, lot of awareness where the anxiety arises from, what is bothering us has to be understood. Self realization how one follows patterns has to be identified. Usually this happens because of the emotions we cannot allow. When one feels sadness or grief instead of feeling, allowing all scary thoughts one resorts to control thoughts/stop and suppress emotions. As a result mind goes into inflicted obsession which leads to anxiety. Then brain resorts to compulsions, rumination becomes part of it and turns to conscious cycle. Hence, when one feels the emotion, feel it. Say it's okay I am feeling sadness, lot of thoughts are haunting however I will go along with it. Keep going with whatever you are doing. In matter of sometime(depends on practise) you will get involved in the work. There is no happy feeling and one shouldn't expect for that. This practise has to be done always and slowly daily life can be managed. This takes further and lot of realisations assist parallel. It's a rough road and keep trying! Hope this helps which is helping me. Healing is never linear😊
I've really been struggling with ruminating.
My ocd revolves around rumination. It demands to ruminate a thought whole day,week,,,,
Same
I remind myself that the thoughts are not important. It is SO hard when you first start. But not all your thoughts need to be important. Sometimes feels and thoughts just don’t matter. You don’t HAVE to pay attentention to them. If I’m really really struggling, I find something else to focus on. I’m not ignoring the thought, it can be there, but I do need to move on and find something else to do. Ali Greymond on YouTube is great for rumination tips.
Knowing it’s a compulsion helps me. When I realize it’s starting I remind myself it’s an OCD compulsion and that I don’t have to go along. I heard someone talking about decreasing the amount of minutes she spent ruminating a little every day and just hearing that was possible helped me to separate the ruminating from ME so I could choose not to start. Once I’m in it, it can feel impossible to stop so if I can catch it at the start I think that works best. The “maybe” mantra helps, too. Or even saying, “yep, probably. And also, what a pretty day it is today” or something like that. Embracing uncertainty and being present. 👌🏼❤️
Very well said from someone who obviously has experience! Thank you…
It’s funny because I feel so guilty if I don’t ruimiate! Like im evil if I don’t try and find out if it’s a genuine problem or not, but the more I think the more confused I get! :,^) it’s funny how these things word
*work
I let my obsessions hang out in my awareness and not mentally talk back at all. It is bothersome for the first hour or two and i feel anxiety, but i just let it sit and do nothing. We all know its a compulsion so its smth to work out. This is ultimately what takes our health away and drags us into a mental hole.
A few nights ago I left the tv on at night. I didnt have negative thoughts in the morning.
Im starting to think my problem is the lack of female companionship because I didnt feel lonely in the morning when I have the tv on, but who knows. 🤷♂️
?
That’s exactly what rumination does to me. If I do it I start feelings all these physical sensations and anxiety. If I don’t fight it everything goes away. :)
When you say you don't fight it. What do you do?
By being mindful
Does anyone spiral? Ex. For ROCD, If i fantasize about attractive woman I saw that must mean I really want them instead, which means I don't love my partner. Which means I am in the wrong relationship, which means I should break up with her. Etc
Oh absolutely. I ended up in a spiral yesterday because I was feeling energetic (vs. my usual depressed self) and all of a sudden was convinced I had bipolar disorder. I wish I wouldn’t have but I immediately began Googling and ruminating and eventually just ended up in an anxiety attack that was about two seconds away from a panic attack. I know exactly why I spiraled and where I went wrong so I think it’s important to try to do better the next time it happens.
What’s the solution if I don’t ruminate i feel like it is stuck in my head and I can’t sleep
Hi, this might help and it is helpful in my case :) Feeling stuck in head & need to ruminate is already start of obsession. Now let's break down with a simple example. Like, exam fear! 1. Stage 1- Onset of emotion. Intense fear creeps in 2. Stage 2- Negative emotion leading to self doubt. You doubt yourself that you will fail 3. Stage 3- Want to get rid of this discomfort (this leads tensed body) Thought crawls in where you decide to either Analyse(go to past)/ or Plan excessively (future) 4. Stage 4- Action to go to past or future. Memory search starts due to self doubt. Already brain neuron is activated to obsess due to body tension. This is where everyone feels no control. So you plan or think about past where all you failed or how you passed everytime and how you followed. You are tricked by brain chemical that this answer is what clears fear. 5. Stage 5- Due to obsession of past and future, brain is unclear. Mind builds anxiety and brain chemical slowly triggers and reminds you to follow a ritual. Thus, you either count, or check or repeat the above analysis again and again. 6. Stage 6- Repitition of ritual clogged the content it's essence and then enters compulsion mode. Already body is uncomfortable due to thought control. You continue ritual which gives rise to intrusive thoughts. This cycle repeats and rumination kicks in 7. Stage 7- Vicious cycle onset & tired and exhausted terribly. Fear turns to worst feeling of unproductivity Now many hours are spent and procrastination symptom is exhibited. No studies at all. Therefore, once this starts it's not easy to let go. After all these stages you feel worst about yourself or your life completely. Multiple days of doing this, then you give up due to tiredness. Then you go ahead for few days and again same cycle repeats
@Arpiocd So for this what worked for me was, when you feel the emotion which is stage 1- fear (example), don't do anything. Feel it, allow it. Open the book and study. Even with pain, discomfort. Now with stage 2 of self doubt, say it's okay. I doubt myself, I fail, no matter what I will study. Don't stop with discomfort. Slowly this is what happens: 1. Terrible feeling, still pushes to go ahead and you can do it as intensity is low 2. Even with doubt you slowly push through, it takes double time. Still you go ahead 3. After a while, you start feeling at present and mind feels lighter 4. Then negative emotions lowers in intensity with your effort in present 5. Finally you understand they were false emotions 6. Actual fear was helping you to work before hand and helping you to be prepared. This is what I meant just listen to your body and allow the emotions. They will show what they are and guide you and even heal you. Hopefully this helps. It won't be easy until you feel it. Thinking mind is what is causing issues and allowing emotions will solve lot of our problems. Sharing my way in long post would help someone here😊
@Arpiocd So on the money!!
There are plenty of people in this world leaving in doubt about their ex spouses/partners with lingering questions about what did or didnt happen. They continue to live with that uncertainty and you are not able to, due to ocd. I feel like with ocd, content is absolutely irrelevant because ocd will not accept logic. Say you had a theme of health ocd and your doctor gave you closure that you are healthy ->your ocd would say maybe youre not. It's a doubting disorder regardless of the theme (even if you had a convo with your ex that felt like closure, ocd would ruminate further).
Thanks. Yes, I had plenty of of conversations with the ex about the breakup and nothing he said ever “stuck” I just went back for more reassurance and understanding. Then my mind would still doubt everything.
I experienced a trigger, and without my support group, I would not understand what I was going through. OCD there s feelings felt but not expressed..... Therefore, I must be my true authentic self 99 times out of a hundred, if not more. Connecting to myself and not worrying about the outcome of be genuine, kind and smart..... I then owe no apologies, or amends, because I am focused on taking care of who "me" is !! Sounds clear, understandable and easy peasy...... When I start to remuniate, STOP..... FOCUS ON MY TRUE SELF
I interrupt ruminations with a song that I sing about the emotion I might be trying to avoid. And for my next number...pick something I want to think about or sing about.
*sometimes even
My OCD is different from a ton of peoples. I have relationship OCD but instead of doubt my feelings for the person, I doubt the relationship / reality of the relationship/ and persons feelings for me after the ending. It’s tough for me to not ruminate on something like a real event like this because I feel like I NEED to understand and NEED to know. How else would I process my experiences, learn or ever know what’s going on in my life I don’t *dont figure it out* (which is what we’re supposed to not do in OCD recovery) This puts me in a bind because I can’t do what most people can do in these situations - come to a conclusion with their experience and move on. So the normal rule of “don’t figure it out” makes me panic because I’m my case my fears are real, rational, and valid and ignoring them seems impossible and even irresponsible. It’s even harder because (and this might be my OCD) the answers I’m searching for can be right in my face and any other healthy person can see it, but I can’t so I get frustrated that I can’t “see” this elusive thing and feel if I think about it more, ruminate one more time, try to solve it, I can eventually see. But then I always end up doubting what I’ve come up with. It’s so exhausting. Anyone understand?
Of course I understand because I have OCD. Yours is no different, believe me. Part of the OCD is trying to justify why yours is more real and nuanced than everyone else’s. The bottom line for any of us is learning to live with uncertainty, period. You’ll never know for sure so you better start feeling the anxiety your problem is creating and let it dip by itself. This is done with ERP and it’s the Gold standard. I feel you, my OCD is religious and imagine the mystery I’m dealing with daily. No answers…
@Ronald Thank you for this. You are right :)
Your OCD sounds verbatim like mine. It tries to convince me why mine is different than everyone else’s, why I *need* to stay with it because the stakes are so high that it would be irresponsible to just “embrace uncertainty.” But in the end, it is never enough. There is never a solid answer or lasting comfort from ruminating. It’s just more confusion and more fear. OCD wants to cut you off from anything that might make it go away so it tries to isolate you. You’re not alone and your OCD isn’t as special or different as it’s trying to make you think. 😊
@Joyeberry Thank you so much for this. It’s nice to hear understanding and now I’m not the only one feeling this way. It’s been so tough for me lately. Do you struggle with ruminating? How do you treat your OCD?
@Amy⭐️ Oh yes! Ruminating is my strongest compulsion for sure. I’ve just started treatment through OCD. Before that, what’s been helpful is really just sitting with the uncomfortability. I’ve found listening to others’ stories with OCD very helpful, too. And of course resisting ruminating as much as possible by telling myself I’m not going to figure it out by thinking and accepting that I just don’t get to know right now (which feels icky, but we are strong enough to tolerate that icky feeling). ❤️
@Joyeberry Through *NOCD I meant 😄
MY TRUE FEELINGS AND TRUE THOUGHTS AND Express myself concisely, and clearly AS FAST as I CAN !!
.....when the anxiety first begins..... I must learn to catch myself when I begin to fly...... I try to fly away from my feelings, and or expression, out of fear. OCD is a fear based disorder... When I first begin to feel like I need to run, STOP, and express my true being
I dislike Law Enforcement carrying higu powered handguns..... A health fear I was taught about...... I just wish people could all learn the get along.
a healthy
I have a crush on this certain man..... I am hetrosexual....... I am a wooo-man!! I spoke to him a week or so ago, we ran into each other...... My heart was going pitter patter..... I stumbled on getting my story out I was sharing, but I did get it out..... He must have known I was flying or spinning...... I like being in-love vs loving each other....... I have had a bf for the last two and a half yrs....... It deminished my suicidal thinking, as I explored my feelings and thoughts..... I learned that I can feel without flying...... I can be ok with me, regardless of what choices he makes. It has been a period of learning about "me......."
Loving proactively is just as good as being in-love.
.....being genuine, kind and smart
That's sounds like a sweet way to handle distress.....l There are 7-8 catagories of OCR Just like Narricism, in the DSM manual
I know what a healthy relationship should look like and I also take note of red flags, as we travel along this journey we call life.
I also recommend subscribing to Psychology Today.... Did I spell that right ?
I can learn for the articles written in there.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond