Struggling with some new thoughts recently but i dont know if they are ocd related or not so i was wondering if anyone could relate at all. Basically i think i have exaggerated symptoms of things in the past for things not related to my ocd themes but im not sure if i was or if i did it on purpose or if i actually did. And im also constantly worried im faking my ocd symptoms/exaggerating them so i googled it (bad idea) and now i dont know if i have factitious disorder and im faking everything for attention and its making feel really guilty and like i need to confess to people what i did/am doing. Plus im worried that im using that as an excuse to stay in denial about my soocd theme as well.. its a big mess in my head and i feel so stuck and im a terrible person. I feel like i used to convince myself i had worse symptoms than i actually had and now i cant remember everything which is stressful. I also feel like i cant get ocd therapy now because im faking everything and i cant trust myself because im subconsciously just trying to get attention.. any advice would be appreciated.

AnonymousA

Date posted: 4y

OCD loves to obsess about OCD, i.e. “what if my OCD isn’t as bad/ is way worse than everyone else”. Every person with OCD I’ve met, including myself, has anxieties about the OCD itself. Recognize these thoughts by looking at the “what if” and treat them as you would any other thought from another theme—accept them and move on. As for your feelings of low self worth, me too, 100%. I think OCD thrives the most when it makes us feel worthless, so fight back and don’t let it have that power over you. Easier said than done. Sending love❤️

Winter

Date posted: 4y

Thanks so much for your reply, it means a lot. Yes it does make sense, i just hate the “what ifs” but i will try to ignore them, even about the new thoughts. Hope youre okay too ❤️

anonocd

Date posted: 4y

Yes this sounds like OCD. And don’t let OCD keep you from getting therapy for that very OCD.

Winter

Date posted: 4y

Thank you for replying, and yes logically it sounds like ocd but its so confusing and difficult to recognise a new theme when youre in the cycle i think. Hope youre doing okay :)

^ - ^

Date posted: 4y

I used to think the same thing and can relate. I may have exaggerated a little, but I realized that it’s because I HAD to exaggerate in order for my parents to take me seriously or acknowledg that anythjng is wrong. Maybe that’s the case for you too? Ocd just makes us worry about it too much, and the worry about faking ocd is probably also ocd

Winter

Date posted: 4y

At this point i dont know/feel like i cant remember properly to be honest. It was when i was 14/15 and i wasnt in the best place mentally either but no one knew but i just feel so guilty about it and im just scared im doing it again with ocd and i dont want that! I just feel terrible if i was lying and wouldnt want to do that again but worried i already am?! It feels like i cant trust myself to be telling the truth anymore. Its so confusing at this point and i should just move on and accept i wont ever know for sure but its easier said than done! Hope your doing better now too and thanks for replying :)

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond