- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
OCD loves to obsess about OCD, i.e. “what if my OCD isn’t as bad/ is way worse than everyone else”. Every person with OCD I’ve met, including myself, has anxieties about the OCD itself. Recognize these thoughts by looking at the “what if” and treat them as you would any other thought from another theme—accept them and move on. As for your feelings of low self worth, me too, 100%. I think OCD thrives the most when it makes us feel worthless, so fight back and don’t let it have that power over you. Easier said than done. Sending love❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
Thanks so much for your reply, it means a lot. Yes it does make sense, i just hate the “what ifs” but i will try to ignore them, even about the new thoughts. Hope youre okay too ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes this sounds like OCD. And don’t let OCD keep you from getting therapy for that very OCD.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for replying, and yes logically it sounds like ocd but its so confusing and difficult to recognise a new theme when youre in the cycle i think. Hope youre doing okay :)
- Date posted
- 4y
I used to think the same thing and can relate. I may have exaggerated a little, but I realized that it’s because I HAD to exaggerate in order for my parents to take me seriously or acknowledg that anythjng is wrong. Maybe that’s the case for you too? Ocd just makes us worry about it too much, and the worry about faking ocd is probably also ocd
- Date posted
- 4y
At this point i dont know/feel like i cant remember properly to be honest. It was when i was 14/15 and i wasnt in the best place mentally either but no one knew but i just feel so guilty about it and im just scared im doing it again with ocd and i dont want that! I just feel terrible if i was lying and wouldnt want to do that again but worried i already am?! It feels like i cant trust myself to be telling the truth anymore. Its so confusing at this point and i should just move on and accept i wont ever know for sure but its easier said than done! Hope your doing better now too and thanks for replying :)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
Hey all, I’ve been having some ebbs and flows in recovery, but for the most part I’ve really had a lot of improvements in quality of life since starting treatment in 2023. Something that really trips me up is ruminating on my past and looking for “evidence” or “proof” that the things that I’m obsessed with are real and not OCD. I spend quite a lot of time doing this. I wasn’t fully aware I was doing it until recently. Example: that I’m secretly gay and lying to everyone (I’m bi), that I’m a horrible person deep down, that I’ve never actually loved any person including my family, that I have the “wrong” political or religious beliefs. I look for proof in every corner of my past. It makes some sense that I think this way because with my previous therapist, who I saw for 8 years and did not diagnose me with OCD, we would look for evidence and proof that my obsessions are irrational and I learned to deal with them that way. At the time it was a lot of health concern and contamination themes, but I literally learned to ruminate and search for relief. But I just kept getting sicker and sicker until I got diagnosed with OCD. It’s a frustrating compulsion that keeps showing up for me. What if these scary things are true? What if it’s not OCD at all and I’m in denial? Have I lied my way into thinking I have OCD? It’s so hard. Anyway, I’m curious if anyone else has come across this in recovery? Let me know your thoughts and I hope you’re well. ❤️
- Date posted
- 22w
Hi. I am going through something really hard right now, and I could use some insight, especially from others who deal with OCD and morality-based spirals. There was a time during a really emotional conversation with my boyfriend when he said something incredibly painful. He said something like he only felt lust for me but did not feel love anymore. I was completely crushed. It felt like everything I believed about our relationship was ripped out from under me. In that moment, I told him that what he said felt like rape. I want to be really clear. I knew even then that it was not a good or accurate comparison. It was not assault. I was trying to express how emotionally violated and broken I felt, and that word came out. I even labeled it directly, not just compared it, and that is what has been haunting me. I feel like I kept going along with it, not because I wanted to lie or manipulate, but because I felt like if I backed down from it, he would not understand the depth of how hurt I was. He didn’t seem to understand any other way. Later, when we tried to be intimate again, I told him not to touch me. And even though a part of me did want closeness, I still felt like I had to react that way, like I had to follow through with what I had said earlier. I wanted so bad for him to understand the impact of his words. That part is killing me. It makes me feel like I was not being authentic, that I was performing a reaction instead of living it. I feel like I acted like a survivor when I was not one, and I hate myself for that. Now, OCD is eating me alive over it. It keeps telling me I am a liar, a manipulator, and someone who cannot be trusted. And it feels so real. But I also know I was hurting. I was not trying to deceive anyone. I was just overwhelmed, desperate to be understood, and probably influenced by years of invalidation from my family over almost everything. I have talked to my boyfriend about it and apologized. He told me he understands and forgives me. But I cannot forgive myself, and I do not know if what I did is forgivable. Has anyone ever been in a similar place? I feel so so awful this was 3 years ago. Now I feel like I can’t trust any of my emotions. I’m analyzing every reaction, past and present, trying to decide if it was “real enough” or if I was somehow dishonest. It feels like OCD has completely hijacked my sense of self. Please help :(
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- Date posted
- 15w
I’m trying so hard to feel normal again but i cant i keep feeling like im being dramatic and that my symptoms aren’t real and im tricking everyone, even on here i feel like im tricking you all into believing i have OCD when i don’t. Plus all these other types thoughts im having all meshing together its so overwhelming and i dont know what to do. My therapist appointment isnt until next week and idek what shes gonna tell me or if she’ll even think i have OCD. i keep thinking about my other posts on here and wondering if i even meant what i said in them. this is the worst ive ever felt i think i might even be going through depersonalization or derealization but im not even sure about that i dont even know anything about what im really going through cause ive never been given any kind of formal diagnosis its only ever been depression and social anxiety but ive always had a feeling it was more but i keep doubting myself. maybe if anyone wants to look at some of my other posts and tell me what u think in general? or would that be reassurance seeking? i feel like most of my posts might be but im not sure.. IM NOT SURE ABOUT ANYTHING! this is so annoying
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