My husband’s current energy and attitude makes me want to go somewhere else. He’s all stressed because we have a lot of housework to do. It’s on my list, but I have other things I NEED to focus on first—things due tomorrow. His attitude is really starting to trigger me. My chest is tightening; my stress and anxiety are bounding. My motivation and productivity are plummeting. I’ve gently shared this with him and am trying to meditate with my dog, but he keeps creeping on that too. Any suggestions are welcome!

My partner has chronic depression and sometimes getting out of bed is a struggle. I took off a couple days work to have a long weekend for our anniversary, and I’m worried about the quality of our weekend. It’s been pretty rainy so we’ve stayed home, it’s very nice out today, but my partner is stuck in bed while I want to go out for a picnic. I’m stuck in my head that these kinds of plans are make or break, and that the weekend will be a waste if we can’t go out. I’m just having a hard time feeling positive when my partner is depressed, and I seek out ways to soothe, these apps being one

(21+ ONLY: TRIGGER WARNING) I love my dog. He just turned seven months old yesterday. But sometimes, I get so frustrated. I came home from work and I just wanted to sit down and relax and watch my favorite TV show. But then he started jumping on me, barking, and getting into things he shouldn’t be. On top of that, I was feeling lightheaded because I haven’t been taken Zoloft lately, which is completely my fault and irresponsible of me. My dog got into a laundry basket and tipped it over, spilling all the clothes on the floor and grabbing a pair of socks. I just lost it, at that point. I chased him and yelled at him and as I went to grab the socks from him, I thought about hitting him. I don’t think I did, but I don’t know. Either way, I’m truly disgusted with myself. I hate that that was my first automatic thought. What is wrong with me? I put him in his kennel for time out and I completely just lost it. I started crying and hyperventilating. I feel horrible for feeling sorry for myself when I’m not the one hurting here. I’m truly a disgusting manipulative POS that deserves to be locked away forever

My all-consuming compulsion is to coddle someone who shows opposition to my boundaries. My boyfriend and I love each other dearly. In fact, he's going to propose soon. But we're working through some really difficult things. When conversations get difficult for him, or he feels the slightest bit of guilt, he totally freezes. He can't talk or make eye contact for awhile. I've been incredibly compassionate about his coping mechanism and his needs (he grew up in an emotionally abusive household), but at the same time, I have needs that must be met, too. The conversations in which he freezes up are ALWAYS ones in which I'm expressing discomfort/hurt about something. What I NEED is to feel validated, to have the space to feel hurt/uncomfortable WITHOUT judgement. Because I am super attentive to him and always ALWAYS validate his hurt, even if it affects me personally. But whether it's big or small, he KEEPS getting really hurt and affected by the things I bring up. His mom is not nice to me, she hasn't been since we met. He's not responsible for her actions, but he IS responsible for defending me when his mom is being super judgemental and rejected me outright, multiple times, even though she didn't even know who I was. I just automatically wasn't good enough. I should be able to trust my boyfriend with valid concerns of mine/expect him to apologize when he's caused discomfort, and he unintentionally invalidates me by guilt-tripping me like crazy. And I've talked to him about this stuff, which is SO HARD. I explain what is and isn't helpful. I brought up therapy, because I can't make him go, but he says he's been trying to ease off his coping response for years to no avail. For this and many other reasons I think he needs professional help (I'm seeing a therapist myself. We both got chronic mental illness that needs addressing somehow). I explained my feelings, I explained what I need. He's starting to try harder to give my emotions space, and say things that validate me. I appreciate it cuz I know the freezing response is something he's trying to fight. It's SO HARD for me not to fawn. My OCD is screaming at me, telling me that I HAVE TO accommodate my boyfriend's feelings, oh I must have hurt him SO BAD, oh imagine how horrible things will be if I DON'T give him reassurance!! But this isn't about him. These conversations with him start because a boundary of MINE has been crossed!! Even if he has a whiny reaction, or has a freezing response that stems from trauma. It STILL causes me too much emotional distress and places blame on me in an unfair way. For example (this is a BRIEF explanation), I've made it clear that I don't want dogs. I've never even had dogs and he knows this. And my boyfriend got really pouty after I reiterated this once, because he thought his dog back home would come live with us after we got married. Mind you, he's NEVER brought this up with me before. I had no idea he wanted his dog to move in with us. The dog has only ever lived at his parents' house. His parents assumed I'd be fine taking on the responsibility of an OLD, SMELLY DOG!!! WITHOUT EVEN ASKING ME!!! And when I explained my frustration about this assumption to my boyfriend while ALSO sweetly acknowledging how SPECIAL his dog is to him, he broke down and shut down!! It's SO FRUSTRATING when he does that, it's so stressful, it's SUCH a burden on me when my boyfriend doesn't have the capacity to validate my feelings the way I do his! Holding back and not compulsively fawning is SO HARD!!!! But I gotta stand firm---it's NOT fair that I have to edit my true feelings because he's not equipped to be more emotionally present for me.