- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I have a very very toxic little sister. I’m 24. Shes 22. She hangs out with the wrong crowd and she puts our family/home at risk. She has hit me, she’s cussed me out, said awful things to hurt me. And I have tried time and time again to help her or be close to her but it’s become weird and I feel this hate for her and in the end I feel so damn guilty. I’ve cut her off for about 3 weeks now? Because I got hurt by her ex boyfriend who beat her up and hit too for trying to help and she got mad at me for not being there for her. I have felt anxiety from it but I can’t have her in my life. My parents don’t seem to care and never do anything so sometimes, it’s just be to remove yourself no matter how hard that is
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m sorry you’re going through this I can’t imagine how wracking it must be 🤎 Me and my sister are still teenagers so we still live together so I’m not sure how I would cut her off. Anyways I wish us both the best.
- Date posted
- 4y
Being around her is always draining my mood/energy and she’s always purposely aggravating me. I’m a worse person around her. I want to become a better person but people like these drag you down.
- Date posted
- 4y
Also she’s very hot and cold. One hour she’s purposely disrespecting me and being rude. The next she’s texting me memes and videos or trying to just talk to me casually and it makes me mad.
- Date posted
- 4y
have you tried talking to her and tell her how you feel about her? talking could do something. if you already tried i would say bring a parent or guardian into the situation and hash it out all together or if you have a therapist you could always talk to them and get some tips on how to get a better relationship with your sister
- Date posted
- 4y
I always always try. I’ve been trying for years. Everytime I do she runs away (she’s not a little kid she’s just immature) or she purposely talks/sings loudly over me and covers her ears. Many times I’ve just wanted to kindly talk but she doesn’t let me. She says I’m looking for “fights and problems” meanwhile I’m just trying to solve them since communication is important.
- Date posted
- 4y
I’ve talked to my parents aswell but I’m open to trying again. Before everyone in my family would be it on me and say I’m problematic because she would start a fight to get me mad but as soon as another family member came she would stop talking to look all innocent. They would even badmouth me and talk about how problematic and troublesome I was and apologize to her. So people only ever saw my reaction never what she did before that. But recently she’s been doing that infront of our parents and now thankfully when they see they say something to her and tell her to stop.
- Date posted
- 4y
@pai 😽 i’m sorry:( i’ve had similar issues with my siblings too. yeah i would try talking to her again and go from there. also if you can i recommend therapy that can help too!
- Date posted
- 4y
@sb12367 I’ll maybe talk to my parents but I’m not talking to her again. I made this original post after talking to her. I did the same thing last night. She doesn’t listen she doesn’t change she doesn’t think she’s in the wrong. I’ve explained myself many times at this point I give up on doing that. Thank you so much for helping tho 🖤🖤
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
LONG VENT POST: This is my second post of the day. Seriously, I am SO sorry. I have therapy tomorrow, I promise I will shut up after this lmao. Anyway, for Memorial Day weekend, I spent it at my aunt/uncles vacation house. Fortunately it wasn’t a big crowd - just my mom, grandmother, aunt, uncle and I. For context, I come from a pretty big family, and I am the youngest of 7 cousins and a younger sister to two brothers. All my cousins are in their early to mid 20’s, each very successful in school and their careers. My half brother is 29, and absolutely crushing it. My full brother is turning 23, he’s also doing amazing with school. I just turned 20 in April, I feel very lost. I know I want to be a forensic psychiatrist one day, and that I want my PhD. I want to be the best therapist I can be, but the fact that I barely get by with ocd/adhd has been discouraging me, so I currently feel like a flop. Anyway though, spending time with my aunts/uncles/cousins/grandparents triggers my ocd the most, as majority of them can be on the judgmental side. ESPECIALLY my aunt, she’s on my moms side, and she and my mom are total opposites. My aunts a very calculated, straightforward, logical, stern, sassy buisnesswoman. She’s successful, but lacks a lot of understanding and can be so cold and just mean. My moms a kindergarten teacher in a struggling community, and she’s always thinking about others before herself, extremely emotional, caring, but neglects her own needs a lot. They’re sisters, and they bump heads a ton. My aunt and all of her kids aren’t neurodivergent. They simply don’t understand mental health. My mom does, thank god. My aunt and uncle think that if a kid is having a psychotic break, then that kid should be kicked out of the house and not helped at all. My mom and I entirely disagree with this idea, and that someone clearly mentally suffering NEEDS mental health help asap, and they need to be home. The streets are the last place someone suffering should be. While we were vacationing at the house, my mom argued about this with my uncle. I was asleep, thank god, but I seriously hate having people in my family like this. I can never tell them about me having ocd, they’ll think it’s just an “excuse” for not getting things done, or just me trying to feel special. The reality is, they don’t get it. My full brother went through the worst psychotic break a few years ago. It lasted two years on and off due to bipolar disorder, but thank god he got himself help and he’s doing absolutely amazing now. He’s frustrated and embarassed with himself but now he’s on track, and as I said, crushing it with school. But the entire time he was going through this, my aunt and uncle just didn’t understand. To keep it short, they thought his mental problems were behavioral, and that he’s a “crazy” kid. The reality is, he was coping with the loss of his childhood best friend and our other uncle who was like a second father figure to us. He had manic episodes from the grief and self medicating with drugs and alcohol. This was all the while Covid was happening and he was a freshman at a college states away. He was so vunerable. I’m saying all this because, well, how am I to seriously be forward about my mental struggles when they couldn’t even show the slightest amount of empathy to my brother, who was struggling, so much more intensely than me? I’m quiet at family gatherings when they’re around for this exact reason. I have so much resentment toward them for it. I try to avoid them when I can, because I love them, I just hate their actions/views. What do you guys do with these kinds of people?
- Date posted
- 12w
I corrected someone’s racist comment — he whispered it, I tried to shut it down, but he kept pushing. When I disengaged and went back to work, he started swinging his phone in my face. Later, he spiraled and assumed I had told everyone what he said. He attacked me in front of everyone, shouting in part about the rscist conversstion, calling me immature & saying i shouldnt talk to him. And no one said a thing. What hurts the most is that I’ve supported all of these people when they’ve had bad days (including when they cried at work) — but now, when I’m being publicly berated, I’m left out in the cold. I was even called immature and told I should never speak to him again. Honestly, I’m angry. I feel used. I’ve given so much, and now I’m spiraling, suppressing panic attacks daily. This happened almost a month ago, and I can’t let it go. I want to leave my job so badly, but it feels foolish to leave a “good” job because of this — and yet I feel bullied and emotionally unsafe. The reality is: This is the third time he’s shouted at me. We spoke previous times, I told him dont shout at me & apologised and I forgave him — twice. I don’t shout back. As a Black woman, I’m painfully aware of how I’ll be perceived. So I just take it. So now I just don’t greet him. He doesn’t greet me either. The silence gives me peace — but deep down, I’m spiraling because no one held him accountable. People moved on like nothing happened, and it feels like they think I’m the issue. I didn’t say anything racist. I didn’t cause this. So why was I left unprotected? Especially since they claimed they agreed with my response & that his racism was wrong. I tried to confront the bigotry ocd & protect another class of people. I got berated. My sister made a good point — this is work. These people don’t have to protect me. We’re not friends. But I’m still hurt. No more lunches. No more small talk. I’m not trying to be petty, but I’ve changed my behavior. I let him leave the office first, so if he doesn’t say goodbye, it’s clear. But on the two occasions I left early, I felt guilty for not saying bye — and now I’m spiraling about that too. I feel so alone in this. Like I’m carrying the weight of this entire situation in silence. And maybe… five years in this job is too long anyway. Someone please drag me. I have no close friends, my sister & my parents are tired of discussing this. My therapist wants me to be her & confront him or be passively aggressively mean. But I'm like this man won't react. This is the third occasion & corporate.
- Date posted
- 9w
I'm currently calming down from an anxiety attack caused by my narcissistic mom. I've been navigating the horrible job market post-graduation for 8 months now, with no luck, even in part-time jobs. So I'm stuck at home with my narc mom who is abusive emotionally and verbally, enabler dad with some anger issues, and codependent younger brother with anger issues. I'm doing the best that I can. I have had things going on for me, such as an unpaid internship and being a researcher. Both unpaid, but good experience in my field. I also got into a master's program, which I will be starting. I also choose to put the job search on my agenda every day and always know I can be better, and edit my profile. Living at home vs college is so different. If we're talking about today, for example, I was doing something. I had my first NOCD therapy session, and it went well. I had a to-do list for the day, I had a filling breakfast, I took a nap, and a shower. I wanted to bake banana bread because I've been forced to eat whatever my mom makes. After all, whenever I try to cook, I feel on edge. After all, she makes the kitchen so disorganized, and I've been too depressed to get myself to cook. Anyways, I have a full day ahead of me and I went to bake the banana bread happily. As soon as I started baking, she asked me if I had applied to the job she sent me on text. I have been greyblocking her because with narcissists, you don't give them your personal information or emotions. Also, the last time I asked for her help in job searching, she screamed at me in front of the recruiter's call that I was a liar and hopeless. So I didn't reply to her and kept baking, and she ended up calling up the recruiter for that job and asking, "Did my daughter apply to this job?" with a nasty grin on her face. It got me so good, which is why I had an anxiety attack. I rushed to her and said, "Keep my name out of your mouth and keep your mouth away from my business" in front of the recruiter, too, because I was so angry and done. She proceeded to push my buttons, which I trained myself not to give in to, but sometimes I mess up. She kept asking the recruiter if there were any other positions I'd be qualified for. She knows, after the whole yelling at me for being a loser incident, that she's not allowed to be part of my job search; I set that boundary. But she always crosses it. I couldn't handle i,t so I resorted to my habit of blasting my AirPods with loud music so I could not hear her and continue baking because I at least wanted to finish baking. I also do this every morning when I'm feeding my pets. Oh, and by the way, the most my dad did (while he saw everything) was say "omg stop". I'm so done with this family. I feel so trapped.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond