I feel suicidal Bc I have felt aroused by children and I can't make it go away. I'm convinced I'm a pedo and that's a death sentence for me. Ive felt arousal for same sex, animals, children, family members. I'm sick. And I feel hopeless.

I feel like a sensation down there and sometimes it last all day. Like I feel like a constant tingly sensation all day and it makes me want to cut off my private parts Bc it's not pleasurable just angonizing.

@Anonymous That’s called a groinal sensation. I get them too and it used to be REALLY hard for me, I too, has thaw thought to just cut them off. It takes a lot of practice, but now when I get them towards members of the same sex, I try to change activities, go outside, even talk to someone about it. After awhile they happen and you can just move on without thinking about it

@Jon w/ OCD Ive had this since I was 12 so im convinced. It's so hard. Something deep down in me says im not but people say if you've ever felt aroused you are one. No loop hole and you can't be cured or helped it's like that's how people are born. Like wtf. Why are some people born that way. I hope I'm not

@Anonymous Me too, I have been dealing with this since I was a teenager. I am happily married to a wonderful woman who is understanding of OCD. This doesn’t last forever. It helped me to not try and label everything. Society tried to label everyone as dumb, smart, gay, straight, no binary, etc. I don’t think that that is healthy. We are all different and are on spectrums of all of these things. In the end, you choose what you want to do.

Is there any way you can message me somehow. I need someone who understands right now. I'm so scared and I don't want to live. I can't bare this

@Anonymous I don’t think they have messenger here . Do you have Instagram?

@Anonymous Hope you're ok. I just saw your message. I don't have your type of OCD. Mine is contamination and I saw something red.on an envelope and my world fell apart. The thoughts are only thoughts and the same way I start to sweat and my heart races and panic sets in is my body responding to a thought the same way yours gets aroused by your theme of OCD. Neither are dangerous but it can feel like you're facing a wall and there's no where to go. We can't control our thoughts and our bodies don't know that so we physical responses. There is nothing wrong with you. You have OCD. You're a good person.

@2621 Thank you so much for saying this it makes me wanna throw up and I can't stop looking stuff up

It's been for so many things and I used to want a family but not anymore Bc I'm scared...

@Anonymous I feel you. I'm only lucky in the sense that I do not care to be around children at all anyway and do not have or wish to have them. I would warn you that parenting is such a taxing responsibility anyway. Trust me I've read so many horror stories about people who thought they wanted children only to be dreadfully mistaken... not trying to scare or talk you out of it but parenting is no joke. In my eyes you are super blessed.

@angeloflight How do you know 100% you're not one? If you felt something. Aren't you scared?

@Anonymous Not what?

@angeloflight A pedo

@Anonymous Because I know I'm not attracted to children or even wanna be around them. Is that not enough evidence?

@Anonymous I should stress that people who have these type of thoughts aren't always pedos

@angeloflight Okay

@angeloflight Ugh idk. I did too much research and now I'm scared and feel like I actually am. And my Brain has a miss wiring

@Anonymous I'm really sorry you are feeling this way. I wish there was something I could say to make it better. All I wonder is are you afraid that you may touch a child? Like it's a legitimate fear you have?

@angeloflight Not even that. I'm just scared I'm a pedo. I won't ever harm a kid Bc I won't get around one but I worry about when I have kids

@Anonymous Oh ok that's good at least. Yeah worrying you're a pedo on its own can be tough. I know how isolating that must feel. I'm glad you have us to talk to about it. Do you have a therapist by chance?

@angeloflight No it's really hard to find one in my area who accepts my insurance. I had one but she stopped taking my insurance

@Anonymous Did you tell her about all of this? If so what did she say?

@angeloflight She said it's my ocd. And the "arousal" isn't a representation of what I actually desire. But I'm never reassured.