- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Or do I wanna die? I don't know I don't want too but what if I do end up doing it!! I don't want to but it feels like I do :/ what?? I'm so confused! I just wanna find a goal like a career, I wanna get rid of these ugly thoughts and not question life! I wanna cry I don't like these thoughts nor the feeling! I just wanna feel good! What if I never do and end up killing myself?! I'm worried I won't make it in life I started crying when I told my sister!
- Date posted
- 4y
Ahh I'm literally so quiet right now my head feels like it's gonna start to hurt. I don't even have the urge to hurt myself but Im worried I'll end up loosing control and do it! I'm not severly stressed just wanna throw up by the thought of it I wanna cry!!
- Date posted
- 4y
Take a deep breath. Lay down for a couple of minutes and think of those who love you.
- Date posted
- 4y
I already started crying. I'm shaking too.
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey hun. I understand. Honestly, was having a bit of an episode myself. I felt VERY similar to what you have explained when I was younger. What you are experiencing are intrusive thoughts. They are sneaky and well disguised, but they are OCD and that’s all. They really suck to deal with, I very much understand. They feel very real and very true in the moment. However, they are not originating from you. OCD is a bully and it likes to take what we are afraid of and use it against us. When I was younger, I struggled so badly with these kinds of thoughts that you are experiencing. I was very afraid of myself all the time. Yet, in hindsight, I didn’t need to be. My instructive thoughts were actually showing me what was important to me, in the sense that they were opposite. Intrusive thoughts are exactly that. They are intrusive and barge in uninvited. We don’t expect them or plan on their visit. It’s a very annoying, rather difficult, part of OCD that does not determine who you are or where your life is going, even though it feels like it.
- Date posted
- 4y
How did you overcome? I can’t even do anything anymore
- Date posted
- 4y
@Luu I wish I could tell you that I have overcome them, but honestly it’s still a struggle. When I was younger I didn’t know that I had OCD and so when I initially learnt that, it helped me not be so afraid. It was comforting to know the REAL reason I was having those thoughts, which wasn’t any of the thousands of reasons OCD was telling me. It just came down to understanding it was OCD and not me. But that said, I still have a long ways to go with learning to deal with intrusive thoughts and some days are easier than others and some days I can’t do anything either. I just have something to blame it all on (OCD) and that helps.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
(I apologize in advance for my bad punctuation and ongoing sentences, but i actually dont really care because it doesnt matter to me) Anywho, Im brand new to this app, been on it for just a few minutes now so im not really sure what im doing but i just needed to get it out that i am so extremely stressed with my life right now but its like my mind tries to convince me that im not stressed because i know everything will turn out fine in the future but then the thoughts of "what if it doesnt?" Start flooding in and all of my thoughts just start going back and forth and back and forth and im just so confused about everything that im doing everything i say or do right or wrong everything i do or say that can or maybe has affected people i just i feel like i hate myself so much after thinking all those things and working myself up over it all and then im just like, its gonna be okay tho in the end. AND THEN IT JUST STARTS ALL OVER AGAINF i cannot do this i cant continue suffering with all my thoughts just completely takinh over my mind and everything that i do. i think im so in control when i know im not. There are so many things going on in my life right now that i just feel like i have absolutely no control over, but i DO and easily have control over them, i just let myself believe that i dont, then i make it happen for some reason. I dont even know what else to say now that i just worked myself up into a sobbing spree. I am just so terrified.
- Date posted
- 18w
I usually would say I’ve never been depressed , but recently in my life since my anxiety/ocd has been so bad and having relationship problems I’m feeling kinda sad / stressed. I keep getting scared of being depressed I keep having intrusive thoughts of “ you’d would be better off if you weren’t living” “ I don’t wanna live if it’s like this” and it’s just scaring me 😞
- Date posted
- 17w
I’m not suicidal by any means, I had a thought one time when I was going through some stuff and ever since then I wake up every morning and think about it all day I have thoughts like “did I mean that?” “Did I want that?” “Am I gonna think this all day” “would I really do that” and literally it’s to the point it’s driving me nutssss please tell me I’m not alone and please tell me how you got through this, I started antidepressants about 6 days ago it’s called Effexor for the mean time I need some advice
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