Hi everyone. I wanted to share my story here and give some insight on my treatment of NOCD thus far. I am currently in my mid twenties. When I was just a kid in second grade, I had bad thoughts about my family (mostly my mom). I always had the image of my mom getting into an accident in my head and my teacher had to call home and tell my mom I was upset over this. I "needed" to make sure all was well. I also felt guilt as a child for other intrusive thoughts. After these thoughts went away, my obsessive thoughts slowly became about someone I liked.. or even just someone I was attracted to that I did not know. I became obsessed with them to the point I couldn't think about anything else. I daydreamed and wish the person would be with me, even if I didn't know them. I figured after years of dealing with this, I googled my symptoms. I came across something that is an unofficial diagnosis of OCD. It is called obsessional love disorder. Most of it hit the nail on the head but some didnt relate entirely. Wanting to control the person of interest, or even trying to get them to notice me or like me, even if I did or didn't know them. And if they didnt like me, my self-esteem would be shot. I felt hopeless like no one could ever love me. I called myself ugly so many times and doubted my worth over people I didnt even know. The compulsions are checking their social media, googling them constantly (figuring out everything about them) and most of all, ruminating about "what ifs" around the person. I would cry over all my "crushes" but never told a soul about this my entire life... until this year. After years of this being a secret, I finally opened up to my mom about my thoughts. It made me feel a lot better, and it makes me feel comfort there are people out there willing to understand OCD and our way of thinking. I decided to get treatment for it, because this is no way to live... and I know compared to others this doesnt seem as extreme but I also deal with some intrusive thoughts as well that involve anything under the umbrella of ocd. This treatment has helped me learn more about ERP and it is challenging. This isn't something you are going to be able to do right away, and I'm still learning how to do it. My therapist is an amazing human being and has helped me, even if at times it can be quite alarming to face these fears head on. I would recommend anyone dealing with OCD to try this treatment, or save money to do it. If you cant, I will say that the main concept is to accept the uncertainty of your thoughts. "Maybe that will happen, maybe it wont" It does help, but it takes practice and I'm still learning. If you are looking into other therapy or programs, make sure it is only catered towards OCD. I highly recommend NOCD. There is hope for you, and everyone out there with OCD. It has truly helped me. Dont give up.