Can definitely relate...it doesn't even feel like OCD anymore, I can't see anything but compulsions as a solution especially when I feel like the thoughts are real...i may not know you personally but you are definitely not alone out there struggling, life feels like a constant battle for me right now approaching my last year of high school :(
Its tough. A lot like dieting. Every time you give in you strengthen that cause effect relationship. Every time you resist you strengthen that ability. Even if at first it doesnt feel like it did you any good.