This is tough! But regardless of the fear, whether it's fear of being selfish or dirty or rude or xyz, ERP can work and recovery can follow if we face our fears head on and try to gradually let go of and resist the safety behaviors/rituals we think keep us safe but don't. Doing little things that you think may be selfish and then allowing yourself to see and explore - was that so bad? Did others call me selfish? Did my worst fear come true? Give it a shot. You've got this.