Long ago I used to flirt with a friend while horny (yes I know that’s bad) and I’d lead him on to think I was into him by accident twice. (Again I’m horrible) One time I couldn’t take it anymore and I fully admitted I didn’t mean to do that and that I won’t do it again, although I knew he very much liked me. I felt guilty but then I started dating other people and stopped talking to him. Only saw him as a friend completely afterward Now I’m with a longtime boyfriend and I’m having these “stop and go” type thoughts. One day I am really happy with him but when we fight or something drama related happens I go completely the opposite way and threaten to leave a lot constantly and then I stick around and I’m like “wait don’t go.” And I’m left wondering “am I being the same way I was with my friend I lead on?” “Do I actually love my partner? Or am I just horny?” Because I’m usually happiest when I’m ovulating. Everything stops bothering me like a house could collapse or a fire could burn it down and I’d just not give a shit. That’s how happy I sometimes get on my second or third day of my period. I start to wonder “is this feeling gonna last or am I gonna be miserable with my boyfriend next week. I’m hoping this lasts” Yesterday I was looking online for the types of wedding dresses I’d want for me and I remember thinking “what if this feeling doesn’t last and I’m back to doubting the relationship next week and start thinking about my old colleague or hot coworker again? Also, what does this all mean?” I’m really confused and wondering if I only see my current boyfriend as a friend secretly like I did with my guy friend I sadly messed with a while back before we dated, but don’t wanna admit it since i don’t wanna be alone or if I truly love him and actually want this to work so I say “wait don’t go” Please help. Today seemed like a really good day with my boyfriend. I was really happy and felt alive. But I’m worried it’s my hormone levels that’s making me happy and not my true self But I’m not sure

whatadooo

Date posted: 4y

Only piece advice I can give you from this is stop threatening to leave your boyfriend. Sit with the uncertainty. Don't make threats of leaving him, you shouldn't ask for things you dont actually want to happen because they very well can happen. Plus it's also really bad for people on the other end of that, always worried one thing they do can lead to someone wanting to leave them. I've been in both positions. Don't threaten to leave, no matter what. (Unless they're cheating, then leave.)

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

This! ☝️

Ang1998

Date posted: 4y

It’s been a full on month I keep thinking of a certain guy and it has been troubling. I almost cancelled a date with my boyfriend over it and NOT because I wanted to see the other guy

Jon86

Date posted: 4y

I think this is pretty common. I think a lot of people just dont like to talk about it. I will tell you this. Real long term relationships take a lot of work. Its not always sunshine and rainbows, and there are times when it seems like its headed straight for the rocks. If you are committed to your significant other and he/she is committed to you. You will continue to power through.

Ang1998

Date posted: 4y

It’s been a full on month I keep thinking of a certain guy and it has been troubling. I almost cancelled a date with my boyfriend over it and NOT because I wanted to see the other guy

whatadooo

Date posted: 4y

You are your true self.

whatadooo

Date posted: 4y

I wouldn't say you're just horny, you chose to date him. You didn't choose to date that friend. It's different.

Ang1998

Date posted: 4y

True

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