DON'T read if you're paranoid. I need opinions on whether or not to confront a friend. I am so upset! A friend of mine and her then boyfriend had a habit of recording conversations (without my knowledge) years ago. He would record her and her friend's convos, sometimes she even knew about it and didn't tell us. I remember at the time that I was very uncomfortable about it, but I was too "kind (naive)" to make a fuss about it. This went on for years, on and off. They even recorded me and another friend's conversation (about 3 hours) while none of them were even there and listened to it the day after! Wtf. One time I was at her house (this was years after the beginning of this), it was just me and her, talking about all kinds of stuff, as friends do. I had an ongoing joke (a disgusting joke that went all over the place, that I regret more than anything) and I made some weird impulsive comments. Later that night I felt my foot touch something under the couch. I looked under and yet again the recorder was on! This was years after she was with that other guy, so there was no excuse for her to still be doing something that deceitful against one of her closest friends. She sent some parts to her ex boyfriend, but later claimed to have thrown her own copy away. It's been 7 years since that episode (have seen her under 10 times since), but we are still good friends.🤷‍♀️ Suddenly this whole thing came back to me and I am so mad about this completely unacceptable behavior that she was never really confronted about. At the time she was 28 years old, no one that age does stuff like that. Now I'm thinking about the disgusting jokes and feeling sick to my stomach. I am feeling extremely traumatized by this whole thing, and paranoid. Should I bring this up 7 years later and ask her what happened to our convos?? Sorry, so long! I am just so pissed☹️

Hey, so I wanted to ask about something that is trying to bother me right now. I just thought to come on here before letting my mind ruminate over and over and over. So a year ago when I was 22, I did not have many people to talk to aside from my roommates who were either not home during the summer or just to themselves so I decided to try out Omegle. I talked to a few different people on there, but there’s two people in particular that kind of made me worried. There is this one girl I was talking to from Canada and she told me the story about her and her friends smoking weed, and I told her about how my female roommate used to sleep in my bed. But the way I told her that was by asking for her Instagram so I could DM her that rather than say it out loud because my roommate was in the next room. At some point during our conversation, she told me that she was 16, and I’m not even sure how we came about that but she told me. Before I continue, we were not flirting at all. We were just sharing stories, that was it. My intention was to not flirt at all with anyone because of age and the fact that they probably nowhere near me. Also, I just kind of thought it would be weird too. But now I can’t remember if she told me her age before I told her about my roommate or after I told her about my roommate, but I feel like it was before because I kind of felt like I should’ve unfollowed her after. And what made it worse is that somehow my roommate saw her Instagram handle and followed her as well. Another instance was when this girl was being very goofy and playing the character and I was joking back and I ended up being invited into their Instagram group chat, where I found out they were also 16 so without saying anything, I left the group chat. So my worries if this was inappropriate or was it just a conversation that I probably should’ve cut short. I’m not sure but it’s starting to worry me. And just for context, I have no idea that girl or anybody else since that day and it NEVER went sexual at all. So yeah, that’s the story

My ex pressured me into telling my therapist or someone else in my life about my suicidal thoughts when I wasn’t ready. I had already been considering it and had told her that, but she kept pushing and made it feel like I had to do it. She even said things like “That’s not how it works, you need to bring it up to them” when I told her I wasn’t comfortable doing it first. Then, she gave me an ultimatum either I tell my therapist, or she would tell my mum or someone in my life like a friend . That forced me into a corner where I had no choice but to bring it up before I was ready. Later, I found out that she had been saving our chats, seemingly as “evidence” to protect herself, which made me feel like she cared more about covering herself than about actually supporting me. Instead of trusting me to handle my own mental health on my own terms, she took control of the situation and disregarded my autonomy completely. It felt like she prioritized her comfort over my right to make my own decisions. and she made it all about herself and her guilt and didn’t even ask any questions, i was furious and now don’t think i can ever trust her again. the way she handled it seemed almost clinical and it was cold. it’s like she completely disregarded how i wanted to handle things for her own comfort, it was like self preservation disguised as support. i was forced into it under the threat she would take matters into her own hands, i felt i had no control and when i noticed she was saving my messages in chats i asked why incase something happens? and she said yes, i felt like i was being treated as a liability like a problem to managed, like a burden, and she phoned me after my therapy session making it all about her and her guilt and if i don’t tell anyone by next week she will tell my mum or someone in my life cuz she wouldn’t want to be the only one who knew before we went no contact, i was furious. At the time, I didn’t fully process how messed up this was. But looking back, it feels like she prioritized her own comfort and her own need to feel in control over my right to make my own decisions about my mental health. Ifeel like im overreacting but i can’t stop wondering was this even okay or was it manipulative and controlling Now I’m wondering was this okay for her to do, or was it overstepping?

This might be a bit disturbing but it’s been weighing on my mind. From all the posts I’ve made, I’ve talked about how I was influenced at a young age and saw things I shouldn’t have seen. A lot of it. I can’t remember much because it’s blurry and all muddy and in different timelines. Sometimes I genuinely don’t understand why I would do such a thing or how I could and I would constantly overanalyse things from the past. These things lead me to do things to myself out of trying to understand and curiosity and mimicking actions like kissing others in preschool. I made stupid mistakes I can’t take back and it weighs on me a lot. I don’t and can’t remember so much honestly but when I was at the age of 8, I inappropriately touched someone and it wasn’t out of harm but to understand why. What I did was wrong and the whole context of the situation is messed up but I knew to a certain degree it was wrong ( I spoke to this to my therapist who was very understanding and told me these things happen a lot when kids are young ) I remember at the time I felt guilt and realised I wanted to be a good person. I thought I was dammed for what I did and there was no coming back for me but I remember apologising to them and never doing it again. I had to keep this with me for so many years and it broke me a lot. I matured and realised my actions, spent time crying, thinking that maybe I shouldn’t be here, and was filled with a lot of shame and guilt with nobody to be there or know about this. I didn’t tell anyone because I was scared. I was scared to also be badly punished but eventually as time passed, the person passed away and nobody knew about the story. This year I began opening up and for the first time I opened up to people about this because I wasn’t doing good mentally and spent days—months ruminating, panicking, and thinking I was a monster for everything. I never thought I would but it was with people I trust who loved and accepted me. I told them the situation and how I felt. I told my therapist briefly and she told me we could continue this convo the next time and that I didn’t have to tell her everything but… It didn’t make sense to me. I felt like I needed to confess everything or else I was a fraud. I do definitely care about their justice ( justice overall ) for what happened to them regardless of them not being here and I’m beyond sorry that something like this happened to them because of my stupidity when I was younger. I try my best to be understanding and compassionate to myself but sometimes it’s all filled with hatred and shame and guilt but I’m trying. People say confessing makes things worst. I feel like this is something that needs to be confessed but Ive already admitted my actions, regrets and told others about this but yet it’s still there . I’m not an angel but I do know, these stupid past mistakes have made me more empathetic to people and not wanting things like this to happen to anyone. As I’ve grown I’ve realised how these things can distort your view of reality at a young age because now as I’m older, I understand so much more than my younger self would. Sometimes I don’t know what to say. I don’t know why I did certain things and people at my age were probably more matured and smarter than me. A lot of things happen in different timelines but I’ve matured so much and I understand my mistakes and the impact. I feel safe to talk about this to my therapist or here but to my family and others.. I don’t know what to say. I’ve made so many stupid mistakes and feel like I need to confess everything. I didn’t want to ever talk about this to anyone because I didn’t want to make things worst for people. This happened so many years back and I just didn’t want to bring the past into the present. I know that I have no right to really suggest this because that person was a victim. I don’t know what I should do. Confess? Or let it be in the past? I mean my therapist and close friends know about this.