I thought looking at videos to expose myself to mh fears would help.. It feels as if everyone around me is fake or if its a part of my imagination... I kept seeong the video of Javier from spain that supposedly was stuck in 2027 but people were saying how it was fair I don't believe its true but what if it is? What if Im fake? What if everyone around me isn't real and are like robots? What if I left to abother dimension? Is it possible? Not asking for reasurance but am I doing it wrong?

It makes me see everything differently and ask philosophical questions and then I ask myself am I still in the same world or demension? I hate this why cant I just feel like how I felt in March 2020.

Is March 2020 right before you realized you had OCD? 2020 was the year I realized I had OCD. That was a difficult year... Are you able to or seeing a therapist?

@Anonymous Well let me see on in march 2020 I felt like myself I didn't really question anything at all or I would but I would forget about it and go on with my day but march was the last month I remember feeling normal not any mental health problems. I've always gone to a counselor because of friends or being scared of my health but not really a therapist even though I wish I could I can't because I don't have insurance and I'm 15.

@Mayte I remember something about having to be a certain age to... something about NOCD... Can you refresh my memory on that?

@Anonymous Oh haha yeah you have to be 18 and older but if you're 18- you have to ask a parent or a guardian! I just asked my 22 year old sister since my parent's wouldn't know what this is😀

@Mayte I wonder why that is? I'm sorry to hear about that. I didn't have insurance that they would accept either, and I had to pay out of pocket. I hope you are able to find the money to pay for therapy. Also, I would suggest reading up on OCD, maybe asking for what books you should read in the community posts, and just generally getting knowledge on OCD; plus, I would suggest finding a support group or something like that. Is it alright if I ask, why don't you describe to your parents OCD? Is there a specific reason?

@Anonymous Thank you I will look more into it and well my parent's don't speak English and it's hard to speak to them fluently in spanish. They don't believe much in mental health they're assuming I'm just crazy. My dad ever since I told him of how I would be outside and everything looked fake or weird in May he said "that I'm going crazy" and my mom I can't tell her I'm sad or feel down I cant say how I feel at all cause she will start screaming at me or get mad. If anything I'm waiting and holding on until I get older so I can go myself or when I go back to school I'm thinking of going to the counselor.

@Mayte I'm sorry about that situation. If you don't mind me asking, why do you have a hard time speaking fluently to them in spanish? Also, did you try explaining to your dad about OCD, or did you just say that everything looked fake? Is it possible he didn't understand that it really bothers you?

@Anonymous I find it pretty hard to pronounce some words in English to Spanish even thought Spanish was mh first language... And well I have I tell him a lot of things but I don't think he knows exactly what I mean I don't really like going into detail when I tell him what I think because I don't want him to start thinking of it too but when I first told him everything looked fake he just said "your turning crazy" not in a mean way more like a joking way. No one really understands me here because none of them know how it feels.

@Mayte Yeah, sometimes I fear when I talk about OCD type stuff that it will start to bother others too, but I don't really see that happening. I'm sorry to hear that you feel misunderstood, but even though some of the people in my life know I have OCD and try to help, I still feel misunderstood. I don't know to what extent they do understand OCD, but I feel like they don't understand a good portion. On the other hand, my sister was the first to recognize that I had OCD.

@Anonymous You know, the pronunciation of English words in Spanish sentences kind of makes sense to me. Have you tried learning what the words and terms are in Spanish? And I took three Spanish classes in High School and can speak a little Spanish, just so you know while you are trying to explain.

Yup, I know this feeling all too well. It can be all consuming and exhausting because it feels like the fabric of your own reality is being torn at the seam. Getting help seems irrelevant when existential crisis kicks in. You are not alone.

I have a little bit of existential OCD, but it's not one of my bigger ones. I'd like to better understand what others are going through. You say getting help seems irrelevant; I have an idea as to why that could be, but could you explain why this is so for you?

@Anonymous TW: EXISTENTIALISM Well, for me, at least, and I want to put this in a way that won't be too much of a trigger for others...since it feels as though this reality isn't necessarily real, help wouldn't be real either. And "help" couldn't save me from the lies or truth of this existence. I've tried to challenge that thought by accepting that, yes what if this is all fake? Cool. What if this is just an avatar of someone controlling me? Sick. Let's still manage this panic to ensure my fake reality is better. Taking the importance of "authenticity" or "truth" has brought me a sense of closure. Something I still have to work on, it's not a guarantee. But that's why we're all here!

@baconwrappedscallop Yeah basically but there has to be a way to get rid if these thoughts and the feeling. Personally I don't like thinking of this or feeling as if everyone is fake/not real or as if everything I see is fake or if Im in another dimension. I just wanna feel like myself... It's frustrating and overwhelming. But yup

@Mayte no it's so mentally taxing especially when utilizing resources are "fake" as well. DEFINITELY stay off reddit for now, it's not only fueled my existentialism OCD, but actually created new triggers and respective compulsions to cope.

@Mayte also I don't know what you do as a career or hobbies, but try and channel this into a beautiful piece of art. Write about it. Paint it. Not many are blessed with such a critical mind to even foster or harbor these thoughts. That's pretty incredible right? You can overcome these, and you will be able to live with them and that uncertainty of our reality and existence and simply live! I'm working towards it, early stages still, but I truly believe we can use these, once managed, to contemplate life in healthy ways, like philosophy.

@Mayte The idea with ERP isn't to just accept the thoughts as simply true, it is to accept them as a possibility. Maybe they are real, maybe not. The idea of ERP is to decrease the anxiety of the thoughts with ERP, giving the thoughts less importance, and the thoughts should become less intrusive in your life.