Im on 4 hours of sleep and I don't like taking naps at all when i actually need to. I keep obsessing over being protective with my time and obsessively looking for jobs, careers, high paying job, whether or not to go back and finish college but what degree? Choosing a degree for money(computer science) or fulfillment. Also thinking of working a Full time job i keep obsessing, if i have time for side hustles if I work 8 to 5. It's getting stressful im glued on my phone and YOUTUBE compulsively trying to find which PATH do I need to take. Its also hard to see myself holding down a job long term and in my mind I don't like rude bosses or managers or confinement, I have been indecisive and not taking action on anything good at all these past 2 to 3 months. Its hard to be consisent and theres too many options and choices, its driving me crazy. I don't want years going by not saving a good amount of money and not hitting at least one things. I TRIED a commision based job for 3 years so far(I'm 23) its a tough career if i were to go back would have done so many things differently. I feel lost, defeated, weak, and also disappointed. I keep changing my damn mind too. Also i have this urge to prove some family members wrong, idk why I care so much about people's validation, acceptance from people why do I base my decisions towards that. Its like i really want to them im worth it, im valuable, etc. I like the admiration or feeling respected but why do I CARE about this? In my head i got a million of ideas and path It's hard to stick out a plan.

Hello, I am new here. I can relate to stressors such as: “what do I do with my life and career?” Do I get a job to for money or for fullfillment, why is it hard to find both? I have been dealing with a lack of sleep and that just adds to my anxiety. I work on an ambulance and sometimes I will get 2 hours of sleep before my 24 hour shift and then only sleep 2 hours while on that shift. I want to sleep or nap, but its hard for me. Sometimes I don’t sleep due to panic attacks or anxiety. Other times I don’t sleep due to my own choices to stay out late. This all adds to the anxiety I already have about what I am doing in life. I want to be happy and make a positive impact in the world. I guess I chose fullfillment over money. However, I am still lost. I think too much about why I am here. Why was I born, why am I on the planet earth in the current circumstances I am in, what is the purpose of life? Is their a God that put me here for a reason? Is this all random coincidences and life is pointless? It has to be somewhere in between. Which is also where I am in life. I am inbetween schooling and currently working. I want to go back to school for nursing, but its been rather difficult to get in. I also question if I truly want to go back to school for nursing as well with all the options available to me career wise. It sounds like you have a lot going on and I just wanted to share this with you. I am not great at giving advice and I don’t know that you want it, especially from me, a stranger. I hear what you are saying, and I understand the urge to prove to people like family members or others of your worth. Is there anything I can say that might be benificial to you? Alas, I am no therapist, but maybe I can be a relator.

I’m sorry you are struggling with these things and losing sleep over it. I also find myself going over and over things like “what am I going to do next?” “I never make a choice that makes me happy” “can I even be happy?” or “how will I know I’m choosing the right path?”. I completely relate to both of your comments about whether the important thing is feeling fulfilled, having money and enjoying life, or making a difference. I hope someday I can have all of those. It helps me to think that all of them don’t need to come from my career. I don’t have a solution but you are not alone.