- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m so sorry that happened. It’s really not ok for him to be treating you that way.
- Date posted
- 4y
any advice on what to do
- Date posted
- 4y
@shahsand I used to do healing sessions with a modality called Internal Family Systems and that is what I think of when you ask for advice. Basically, when we have past traumas that we haven’t healed from yet (which is common because you may not have been able to process them or you may not have had a safe person who was there to support you), we will end up in situations similar until it is healed. I think the fact that drama and fighting give you anxiety is a clue to what the original trauma was. Basically sometime before when there was drama and fighting…possibly many years ago. I’d be glad to answer questions you might have if you are interested in something like that, but it could be very helpful to find a therapist that specializes in Internal Family Systems. When it comes to healing trauma, it’s the best thing I’ve ever done because you are shown how to actually heal the root cause instead of just having to manage the symptoms forever.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Elizabeth D. yeah my family was and still is full of drama but i think this stems from when i’ve lost badly in street fughts
- Date posted
- 4y
@shahsand Oh that makes so much sense. That must have been so scary.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Elizabeth D. yeah it is what it is that’s what happens when u live in florida 😂
- Date posted
- 4y
@Elizabeth D. It can help a lot to befriend that part of you, if that makes sense. Basically getting to know and understand the part of you who went through that trauma, acknowledging him, getting to know what he’s feeling, etc. With no judgment, no expectation, just compassion.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Elizabeth D. yeah i’ll try that it’s just uncomfortable knowing i have to watch my back constantly and there’s a lot of compulsions and reasssurance associated with it since there are a lot of facts
- Date posted
- 4y
@shahsand factors*
- Date posted
- 4y
@shahsand The cumpulsions and reassurance are parts of you that are currently working really hard to keep you safe. What’s amazing is that when the part or parts that they are protecting are healed, then even the protector (compulsion/reassurance in this case) parts don’t need to that job anymore and they can be free to do something else.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Elizabeth D. i’m not too sure about that. I think the compulsions and reassurance are the hardest thing right now like asking people i know questions about it and then making sure they don’t say anything to him etc so i’m trying to leave them and not act on them
- Date posted
- 4y
@shahsand Oh that makes sense. It’s hard to deal with old wounds when you are currently in an unsafe situation. He really threatened you and that isn’t ok….finding safety in this situation is crucial and then you can work on the healing in a safe environment. Is there anyone safe that maybe you could stay with for a while? Do you feel like you need to go somewhere else or even call a crisis hotline?
- Date posted
- 4y
@Elizabeth D. nah it’s not that big of a deal lmaoo it’s florida stuff like that happens all the time just a bum who wants to prey on kids
- Date posted
- 4y
Do you actually owe him money?
- Date posted
- 4y
no i dont haha
- Date posted
- 4y
Bruh he is an ass hole if it gets bad enough report it to the police
- Date posted
- 4y
yeah the thing is if i contact the police it’s florida his friends or him might get on me for being a “snitch”
- Date posted
- 4y
@shahsand What he is doing is not okay. Do you think you could get advice from your brother on how to handle this guy?
- Date posted
- 4y
@Bailey253 I don’t have a brother
- Date posted
- 4y
It’s really awful. No one deserves to be in a situation where they end up in a street fight to begin with. It makes sense that your family has lots of drama and I’m sure that contributed.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
This is probably not OCD but I have made a post about this guy. So long story short, last week I texted him asking how his day went with his mom and all that. So he then texts me “how was your day” and I said good and I said “yours” and he said “tough” “I’m going to bed ttyl “ I asked what happened and what’s wrong and never get a response. Next day at work he’s not talking to me so I thought to myself to just wait and give him space. Hours later I eventually ask him at work if he was okay and he said he’ll talk to me after work. Never does. Still never talks to me. The next day is Sunday and he still never texts me so I continue getting ready for church and ended up staying hom and telling him “I’m staying home this Sunday” “I’m proud of you for getting baptized” still no answer until finally Monday night or Tuesday morning he responds with “THX” I come in to work today and my cousin (manager) says he asked her if (the other manager) was going to church tomorrow she tells him “she said no” and then my cousin says “did you ask Bree?” (That’s my name) and he says “I really don’t want to talk to her right now”) he asks my cousin will she go to church with him. I keep overthinking “what in the world did I do” I’m trying to figure out what happened. I feel crazy for wondering what happened for him to all of sudden do this. I just like him as a friend but now I’m starting to dislike him period and have permanently deleted our messages and blocked him today. I took my time and thought hard before blocking and deleting. Maybe he’ll talk to me maybe not but we’re adults and I’m trying to figure out what i did because I’m really confused
- Date posted
- 20w
I'm 26 A while ago, I found out I have OCD, with intrusive thoughts and all, and I'm taking medication. The thing is, despite having people around me, I Lost all my family and been through alot i feel lonely in this treatment journey. I don't have many female friends, I've never talked to a boy in real life. and I always live in a routine. I couldn't find any work even though i apply and Even when I talk to anyone around me, I don't feel like they fulfill me. I always find talking to people online really good and it always end up with being attached. About two months ago, my sister told me about an app for playing games. I joined and played normally. After two weeks, I formed a team and introduced them to each other, and they all really liked each other. I got particularly attached to a girl and a boy. This boy is 9 years younger than me i thought he was 18 but he is 17 i found out very late they also not the same religion. Sometimes I'd feel emotions, but I didn't know what they were. I'd be happy when I was with them because they cared about me so much, their humor was like mine, everything clicked, and they loved me, or at least that's what I understood. I felt what I was doing was wrong and that I had to delete it. So, I wrote to them saying I wouldn't play again. They didn't understand why and were upset with me. I stopped playing, but after two weeks, I don't know what brought me back. I played with a boy who turned out to know the girl and the boy I used to play with. This new boy, it turned out, he had a crush on the girl i used to play with, and I didn't know that. I also developed a crush on him for a while, and I don't know why. I know this is so wrong, he's smart and has a strong personality, and we were like Tom and Jerry Attitude. But when I understood he liked the girl, I tried to detach myself from him and I succeeded To let go of this attachment. During this period, the boy who is 17 I had a crush on before but as brother and sister i guess i was very attached he is very attentive to me and would confide in me, especially me. I loved that and started to feel attached to him again, but I tried to ignore it. Then, the day before yesterday, I noticed his demeanor had changed. We were playing, and suddenly he said the game was boring without the others. I told him it was fine if he wanted to close it until they come back. He said okay, and we closed it. I was so surprised and upset. I felt like I was being intrusive or forcing him to play, None of them log in much anymore like they used to, and I'm always the most enthusiastic one. Anyway, I logged in later to ask him what was wrong. He kept saying "nothing." So I left him, and he knew I was upset with him. His attitude with all of us changed even the girl noticed that too , but He went online because he didn't want to sleep while I was upset. He came back and said, "I'm sorry, I don't like any of my siblings being upset with me, and I'm also worried about my last year of high school " It will start after 2 months he is now in vacation. I explained to him that his words bothered me. He then kept saying, "You might not believe me, but you're the first person I've known, and you're in one league, and the rest are in another." I told him I was turned off and might stop playing the game for a bit. I told him I wasn't upset with him at all, I just wanted to clarify. He said, "No, please don't go I love it when we all play. The game will be bad without you because when you log off, no one else logs on. Honestly, I got more upset and felt like I was just the one bringing them together and nothing more. I told him, "Okay, I'll gather you all and then I'll leave." He said, "Do what you want, but it's nice when you and I play, but it's even better when they come." I was so suffocated by all this talk, I don't know why. This is the first time I don't understand myself. Is it because I'm always been the enthusiastic one? Anyway, he told me, "The most important thing is for you to know that I'll always be waiting for you, and in my life in general, the first person I know always has a special place for me." He told me to believe him and said, "You are the best siblings I've ever known." I told him, "Me too, truly." And that was it. I closed the chat with him, feeling all those jumbled emotions I mentioned above, and regretting what I did because I got attached again. And that's all very very wrong And I know this is wrong, especially since he's not of my religion, and it's inappropriate to play games at such a late hour. Plus, he's 17 and I'm 26, so I don't know what this nonsense is. I feel like a child What's wrong with me? I have very bad thoughts about myself this morning is this POCD?
- Date posted
- 7w
18+ When I was in high school (16 or 17), I hung out with the popular kids of school... they send me this popular girl (who was in our school) explicit photo on snap because I was curious to see it... after I turned 19, I suddenly remembered my friends sent the photo and asked them to delete it off of the chat, as I didn't want to be in possession of any form of illegal material... Fast forward to later... my friend had broken up with his ex and wanted to send us explicit pics of her... curious at the time, I asked to see it and he sent the group (including me) some pictures... Now that Im 24, I remember him sending these pics and asked him to take down the pics in our snapchat convo... I didnt want any pics of their ex because this was harmful content... my friend, (the one who sent our friend group explicit vids and pics of his ex) told me that there was a one month period between him and her when they were in a relationship where he was 18 and she was 17 )... they were together for 1-2 years... and they were explicit throughout their whole relationship ... including the one month period... so i was getting extremely anxious and triggered about him sending me potentially illegal stuff... I asked him several times over the course of three days after he casually admitted he had a 1 month age period with her, (he was 18 and she was 17 during that one month) if she was over 18 when he made those videos, and he kept giving me answers like "Yes" And "It was a month after she turned 18..." He even got frustrated on the second day of me asking and said "Dude, this is the 10th time you've asked me and yes she was." On the third day I asked him, he said "yeah" when i said his previous comments of "a month after she turned 18, right?" back to him, and he even added that "we started getting more explicitly active around this time." He also told me "Even if she was under the age of 18, you wouldn't be in trouble because you were sent it." Yesterday, I called him again and apologized for asking so much... to which he responded... "I was hoping you'd realize this has been excessive..." But then I asked him if she really was 18 in those videos or not... he got frustrated and said... "Dude, you cant keep apologizing over and over, before asking me again..." Still, I asked him to confirm it for me one last time, to which he replied... "She was 18 in those videos..." I keep getting anxious because I dont know if he's lying or not and its triggering me really bad, not to mention feeling guilty about the harm I had caused... I genuinely feel so guilty and awful about this... I hurt people... and I cant sleep at night knowing I did... People say you make mistakes when you were a teen... these were some of my mistakes... I genuinely feel horrible and I cant sleep at night knowing the guilt of my actions are still there... I genuinely feel awful... I hope people dont hate me after reading this... i hope you dont block me... you've all been so genuinely kind and encouraging to me... and I dont want to lose someone who cares about me on here...
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