Hi, so basically a kid texted me on snap he said yo and then i said yo back. Then he said you owe me 100 dollars. I’d seen this kid twice and each time was close to my neighborhood. Then, i responded saying so no I don’t. Then he said i’m going to fight you when i see you then. I hate drama and fighting because it gives me a lot of anxiety. I asked what can we do about this because I told him i’m focused on my religion and don’t like fighting. He then said I’m going to tell your religious people you smoke. I told him they wouldn’t care and I asked him what we can do about this. We came to the solution of me giving him 50 and me being dumb i gave it to him. Then i guess my OCD kicked in and kept making me ask are we good, are you going to fight me, etc for two days. Then i decided i wanted only my close friends on social media so i made a new account and deactivated the old one I got scared he might get mad at me over that so i added him on the old account again and told him i’m making a new account and that’s why i won’t be on here and said yet again are we okay? then he said if you give me another 50 wel be good then i realized he wouldn’t stop so I pretended to be my dad so people didn’t think i was a snitch and told him that i would call the police if he didn’t stop harassing “my son” and said i (as my dad)work with the police and my brother is a sherriff. Then i saw him that night because of a mutual friend but my mutual friend told him not to do anything and i explained to him i don’t like drama and all that then he replays saying “we good” then i saw him again yesterday he smiled with his friend as i walked by. This is giving me so much anxiety that i always have to watch my back now. I’m 16 by the way and he’s 18 i think

any advice on what to do

@shahsand I used to do healing sessions with a modality called Internal Family Systems and that is what I think of when you ask for advice. Basically, when we have past traumas that we haven’t healed from yet (which is common because you may not have been able to process them or you may not have had a safe person who was there to support you), we will end up in situations similar until it is healed. I think the fact that drama and fighting give you anxiety is a clue to what the original trauma was. Basically sometime before when there was drama and fighting…possibly many years ago. I’d be glad to answer questions you might have if you are interested in something like that, but it could be very helpful to find a therapist that specializes in Internal Family Systems. When it comes to healing trauma, it’s the best thing I’ve ever done because you are shown how to actually heal the root cause instead of just having to manage the symptoms forever.

@Elizabeth D. yeah my family was and still is full of drama but i think this stems from when i’ve lost badly in street fughts

@shahsand Oh that makes so much sense. That must have been so scary.

@Elizabeth D. yeah it is what it is that’s what happens when u live in florida 😂

@Elizabeth D. It can help a lot to befriend that part of you, if that makes sense. Basically getting to know and understand the part of you who went through that trauma, acknowledging him, getting to know what he’s feeling, etc. With no judgment, no expectation, just compassion.

@Elizabeth D. yeah i’ll try that it’s just uncomfortable knowing i have to watch my back constantly and there’s a lot of compulsions and reasssurance associated with it since there are a lot of facts

@shahsand factors*

@shahsand The cumpulsions and reassurance are parts of you that are currently working really hard to keep you safe. What’s amazing is that when the part or parts that they are protecting are healed, then even the protector (compulsion/reassurance in this case) parts don’t need to that job anymore and they can be free to do something else.

@Elizabeth D. i’m not too sure about that. I think the compulsions and reassurance are the hardest thing right now like asking people i know questions about it and then making sure they don’t say anything to him etc so i’m trying to leave them and not act on them

@shahsand Oh that makes sense. It’s hard to deal with old wounds when you are currently in an unsafe situation. He really threatened you and that isn’t ok….finding safety in this situation is crucial and then you can work on the healing in a safe environment. Is there anyone safe that maybe you could stay with for a while? Do you feel like you need to go somewhere else or even call a crisis hotline?

@Elizabeth D. nah it’s not that big of a deal lmaoo it’s florida stuff like that happens all the time just a bum who wants to prey on kids

no i dont haha

yeah the thing is if i contact the police it’s florida his friends or him might get on me for being a “snitch”

@shahsand What he is doing is not okay. Do you think you could get advice from your brother on how to handle this guy?

@Bailey253 I don’t have a brother