TW So recently my ocd focuses on rape and molestation. I tried so hard to resist the google compulsion but before I knew it I was googling how to rape/molest people, babies,dogs. I am absolutely disgusted with myself. I feel horrible. I would never ever do that to anyone or anything but the face that I listened to the ocd and gave in to it makes me feel weak and I’m horrified the cops are gonna show up at my door thinking I am going to rape someone. I made sure to take my ocd meds today so hopefully I can get back on track with my meds and the ocd will let up again. I feel like such a monster and horrible person.

I feel u as well. I used to do that but I rlly stopped using porn because of the exact way which is checking, it’s uncertain what I’m into and that’s how u handle ocd, but I know god has a plan for me and I will meet a beautiful women one day regardless or what I know, no matter how bad my ocd temptations are I will never check myself again (gay porn ) or kiss a man or anything (never done this, I have always been with women but hypothetically) , I do have bad temptations and fantasies about having sex with guys or marrying a guy sometimes and being gay which drives me crazy but to my belief it’s against the lord and against myself truly, these thoughts are just satan trying to take what you value most, he’s the man of lies and will try and make you believe anytbing especially when ocd kicks in. It’s a hard illness but I know your stronger than him and ocd, just talk to god when your feeling down man, he’s truly here with you and will help you thru anything even if your stuck in faith or have a hard time believing just ask him simply “lord how can I come closer to you and believe” I have been in the same spot but I really know we are all here for a reason and it’s because of him, I think sometimes when I have ocd it’s a sign that he’s trying to teach me something and over this last year I have learned a lot about what I’ve done and how I’ve drawn farther then ever from him and came back