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- 4y
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- 4y
I know your pain man... This shit sucks... I literary was hit by ocd during one the most important periods of my life... I wish it never happened to me.
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- 4y
Instead of “why god” just ask “what is he trying to teach you, I am a big time sufferer as well and I sometimes am in the midst of a panic/ocd episode and ask why, but I have faith it’s all a learning moment, my ocd was caused by drugs (lsd,weed, salvia, coke) or at least enhanced and I was really just not looking up to him instead looking just for partying fun girls and drugs which isn’t the answer and is just unrighteous, It was all a life lesson but I am sober now and it’s been a tough mission but I’m slowly moving along and just pray everyday that I can gain more knowledge from the lord, I have terrible ocd themes including rocd,hocd, pics and some other just insane thoughts that make me look down on myself sometimes but I just remember I have to be grateful/thankful and humble for what he’s done for me and you can think the same! I really just am glad I am not dead or homeless, my mental illness could have drove me down a terrible path but my mans has kept me sane and living healthy to this day, other than my bad thoughts I really am blessed just remember what you have, not what you lack
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- 4y
It’s interesting that you say your ocd was caused by drugs because I took an edible for the first time in April (apologies if that’s triggering in any way) and had what I can describe as near psychosis and I haven’t been the same since.
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- 4y
@thedude Oh my gosh I'm experiencing the exact same thing. Happened a couple weeks ago, I've had a nervous breakdown
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@namjoonah Like I don’t want to say it was that because I’ve experienced my theme when I was younger but it went away for a long time and now it’s back worse so idk what could be going on
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@thedude Me too! I've always been aware of my ocd, but had a great handle on it and nearly no symptoms leading up to it. I took barely any edible (but clearly too strong for my body weight/experience ?) And it's turned my mind upside down. I know the drug didn't do any physical damage to my brain but the thought that I psychologically messed myself up forever is terrifying...
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- 4y
@thedude I may have had that as well either that, I lost many brain cells, ego death or just very strong ocd/anxiety and it really targets the things I value in life, I think I had ocd before but it wasn’t that strong I pray everyday that I can just learn how to handle these thoughts because I really just don’t want them in my head ever, ever since those times I was abusing drugs I have just had the wackiest thoughts. Nah ur good tho bro, I hope the best for you
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- 4y
@namjoonah You didn’t mess up anything, your mind was just altered in a way, you can’t look at the negatives look at the positives ocd is terrible but it makes me think different not in a good way, but I have faith that one day I will be able to control this and overcome and use ocd to my advantage
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- 4y
@The brain is NOT U Yes! Thank you for the kind words. I believe we will find value in our experiences and become more whole people. Good luck friend
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@namjoonah Hope the best man
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- 4y
same here you’re not alone
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
I’ve tried accepting the uncertainty, I’ve accepted I may be gay, bi or still straight. I’ve tried doing ERP myself to the best I can. When I accept that I’m gay or bi why doesn’t my head agree and move on? Why does it still question it? I know I don’t want to be at all. I love my family. But I just want this to move on. I want to enjoy life. Why can’t I find women attractive again? (Brief moments I do). I seriously don’t understand the false attraction? I’ve tried agreeing with it but it won’t let this drop. Why am I attracted to the same sex? Why am I attracted to people I would never thought of looking at? Why does it give me such grief about this? I know I shouldn’t look at adult content but why can I only feel good watching either lesbian or females? I tried to agree with the gay but it makes me sick and horrendous I even considered this? I just want my life back.
- Date posted
- 17w
Hi friends. I recently had a relapse with OCD and I haven’t felt that real intense pain/fear/panic since I was first diagnosed 3 years ago. It was awful. I’ve been on medication and going to therapy for some time, and I am happy to report I have grown a lot. Long story short, it’s just become a burden for me recently trying to understand why this had to happen to me (and all of you). When I first started following Jesus, it was such a spiritual high. I had so much peace and joy, and I think within that first year with Him I became obsessed with the Bible and learning as much as I could. I think it was a sweet time, but suddenly a switch flipped. I became concerned that all my head knowledge, though I took to heart, became all I cared about. Then all the intrusive thoughts started, and you know the rest. I was relieved when I got my diagnosis, to know that scrupulosity is even a thing. But today, I sit and realize my OCD has taken on other forms (existential/fear of going insane) and then of course I started asking God “why me?”. And then… of course.. I feel bad for asking that. And then it triggered that same old feeling that I’m not in right standing with God. It’s so meta I can’t take it. Does anyone wonder why this had to be? I know the typical answers “we live in a broken world” and “God will use this for His glory” but is anyone just able to sit in that frustration, and work it out? I want to keep fighting, try understanding, like there’s this itch in me that I need to “figure out” something. But I know God isn’t the voice that’s speaking that to me. But gosh, it’s so brutal and hard. I believe God is carrying me through this. 2 Corinthians 12 has been a blessing for this. I just feel so weak. I get upset this is happening, start doubting God, and then feel guilty. It’s a stupid cycle and I see it. I have a very intellectual mind, and I find that most people with this kind of OCD share this trait. But it’s like, the logic doesn’t help. I just want God to sit in my bedroom and tell me it’s real, my faith is intact, and to keep trusting. I don’t know why He won’t do that for me, and I feel guilty for even feeling that way. Anyways, I don’t know what I’m seeking here, but for anyone feeling this way, know you’re not alone. I deeply love you all, even though we are all strangers. 1 Peter 5:9… right?
- Date posted
- 16w
I want to get thought this weird horrible period, it has been horrible. I am doubting everything. I’m not diagnosed but when I look at my past I’ve always been horribly anxious and worrying about health, death and basically everything while suffering from major a lot of insecurities stemming from bullying and lately a lack of intimacy with my partner, Every time I think I’m on the way out, or see some light at the end of the tunnel my mind always pulls me back in. It’s torture. I’ve always been insecure about how I look and I find myself comparing myself at other males and it’s made my self esteem on the floor. I have a girlfriend and prior to this we had a future planned and talked about kids (we’re still young, but it felt so real), this all began to bubble when we stopped being intimate and the loss of my job. I don’t know anymore how to move on, every day feels like a chore. The intrusive thoughts telling me I’m in denial, constantly thinking about men I’ve felt insecure about their looks compared to mine wishing I looked like them plaguing my mind. The false attractions, prior to this i was comfortable in acknowledging good looking men. However now my mind takes this as evidence, every single thing in my past seems like some form of evidence. Not having male friends, the comparisons, being questioned about my sexuality from siblings. I’m sorry if this is reassurance, I am just needing to get some things of my chest. Every time I think about my first real attraction or girls I found pretty/attractive or I liked my mind is like your in denial and then I feel horrible about thinking those thoughts as I have my girlfriend. I miss just being with my girlfriend and not having these thoughts and feeling horrible. I feel like a fraud and a horrible partner. I’ve tried to accept maybe, maybe not, but something always comes back. These 4 months have been terrible. I want to sleep without horrible dreams, I want to eat. I want to feel like myself again. Thank you to anyone who reads this. Hope you’re strong too.
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