Does anyone else struggle with racist intrusive thoughts and worrying you'll be perceived as racist in public? Racism is something that goes against my core values, which is being an ally to BIPOC and working to be anti-racist. I feel like my OCD has really taken this value & began to warp it though. It feels awful because interacting with BIPOC causes me to hyperfixate on how I'm coming across & I know I appear outwardly anxious, which I'm sure comes across as racist to the other person. It's really disgusting to me that my mind is throwing this up. I won't to dismiss the thoughts as OCD, because they don't represent what I believe, but the thoughts don't really settle down.

canigetawitness

295d ago

want*

AJDCTX12

295d ago

I do personally. Like i'll see a person of a different race and my brain will introduce such horrible things and ill be sitting there like what the hell why

canigetawitness

295d ago

I'm sorry you're struggling as well. Have you found anything that's helped?

AJDCTX12

295d ago

@canigetawitness So sometimes my intrusive thoughts are about people of color and itll jump to "theyre gonna shoot you" which as you can imagine is a horrible thought to have and very distressing cus its the opposite of how i feel. But to keep myself uncertain and not entertain the OCD, you have to just say "maybe, maybe not" and then not give into a compulsion. Avoiding is a compulsion so if ur automatic compulsion is to walk away with your head down, keep your head up and walk toward that person

Anthony

295d ago

I do have racist instructive thoughts as well.

nikkii

295d ago

i used to!

Xxara

295d ago

yes! im a poc myself and i’ve dealt with this! i’ll tell you something that rlly helped me. firstly, being anti racist is not an end all be all. everyone has racist perceptions and tendencies wrapped within them due to the society we grow up in, our job is to let minorities have a platform to speak on what they need to help push them forward (speaking from a minority myself), being able to grapple the fact that it will always be a process and not an end all be all statement rlly helped me deal with the fact that even if i’m a person of colour, i will deal with racism within myself. as long as you recognize it, realize it’s wrong and work to change then ur fine. now ur OCD has a way of warping that into both a life sentence and implanting thoughts in you that you don’t even believe! what i find has helped not just with race ocd but other things is that i laugh at the thought. i don’t entertain the thought but it helps ease the anxiety of it all, or i simply shrug my shoulders at it bc you know it’s your ocd. fighting racist tendencies we have and our intrusive thoughts are always separate and don’t need to be intertwined, ur clearly trying your best to be an ally and i appreciate that a lot!