Can someone tell me how to control ones racing thoughts at night replaying every crucial moment you had throughout the day? "Should I have told her/him that?" "I should have said this, or that instead?"..." "What am I gonna say tomorrow?" "What if this was wrong ND I get in trouble tomorrow"? Literally, my entire day replays with different scenarios of how that situation could/should have gone. How do u make it go away????

Anyone else have repeated thoughts that play that are negative. Basically a back and forth of you telling yourself you don't want X to happen but having a thought that slips saying you do. Like being stressed out one day and saying "man I wish I were dead". But instead of letting it roll through your mind and thinking nothing of it, you obsess if you actually want that outcome for yourself and you are now scared you'd fatally harm yourself whenever you feel anxious or stressed even though you know you wouldn't. So now I repeatedly get I wanna die stuck in my head and I feel the compulsive need to say no I don't to combat the thoughts and it happens throughout the day and even when I wake up.

I've been doing well the past month in cutting down on compulsions and have been feeling better however, last night I had a set back that carried on into today. I had gotten very poor sleep (4ish hours) and then something triggered my memory. I think with the sudden anxiety spike and lack of sleep I didn't have the strength to ignore my compulsions. Last night and today I've realised I've gone back into rumination and mentally reviewing the event excessively again and comparing my situation to other people's, but most of the times that I start going down these rabbit holes I don't even realise I'm doing it? Also been fixating a bit on the fear that I've ruined my progress and that I will fall back into the deep end of it all again, that I have done so much work getting myself out of, although trying my best to not be too discouraged. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with rumination more specifically?

I've been doing this thing where I think about what I should be doing all the time, as though anything I do is incorrect. "I should be tensing me body/I should be relaxing my body" "I should think this way about myself/I shouldn't think this way about myself" "I should talk to them/ I shouldn't talk to them" "I should be smiling/I should be frowning" "I should listen to this song" "I should be relaxing" "I should be doing work".... the list just goes on an on, back and fourth. I fixate and go back and fourth at what I should do to the point it feels excessive, obsessive. I can't relax and I have a really hard time just being okay with how I am in the present. Does anyone else experience this or have some advice? Thank you for reading.