- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
You’re not alone! Cheers to the single club! 🥂
🥂
Yep!! I make it a lot more complicated than it needs to be too! Must be an ocd thing🤷♀️
Cheers to the single club. I’m in the club ONLY because of my OCD.
I can relate. For me it used to be that I always found reasons why someone wasn't "good enough" or why it wouldn't work out. And it took me ages to be able to actually commit to someone. Now I'm in a happy relationship but developed Rocd within. But even with rocd you can have a successful relationship and grow with your partner, as this can bring you so much closer 😊
That makes sense too! I always am finding reasons they aren't right. Like if they weren't exactly my type or they have some hobbies that I don't.
@Anyonomous Omg yes I do this too. But we shouldn't be looking for male versions of ourselves either lol :/
@washie I think that's where I have made my mistake 😅😂 felt like he had to be just like me haha
@Anyonomous See this is why we are single😂🤷♀️ Can't find our clones haha. I'll try to be more open to people having weird hobbies then🤷♀️😁
@washie Haha 😂
Omg that’s me all the time. If you don’t mind me asking how did you get over it. I can’t get into a relationship when the opportunity presents itself no matter what I do. I could but I would have tons of Intrusive thoughts, so I just choose to stay single. But please if you don’t mind sharing how you got over that and learned to cope with it. It would be a lot of insight and help. Thanks
@LoveyDuck I'm happy to share. 😊 I don't really know how exactly I got over it. It didn't really come up in the beginning with my current boyfriend. But I also had a crush for over a year on him so it was an immense feeling when we got together. I think the doubts went away and were replaced by the fear of the him not liking me enough, which isn't good either but that went away with time and now I don't fear loosing him. Another thing I experienced before him was that I was seing guys I didn't like that much and I tried to like them because I felt I needed someone to validate myself. And at one point I came to terms with the fact I might be single forever and then I didn't feel pressured to feel anything. I was worried it would be like that forever since I had similar thoughts since I was quite young. But sometimes it just goes away. And for me the less pressure I have with someone the more likely I am to give the person a chance, because I don't feel like I must like them. I don't know if that makes sense. But I think those thoughts are quite common, not fun, but common. But you can always imagine yourself in those scenarios and do some erp's to practise it 😊
@Anonymous Another advice maybe: just take it slow. You don't need to get into a realtionship immediately. Allow yourself to get to know the person. You could wait even 6 months or more to decide what you want. Labels can make things super scary, and sometimes there is no need to label something immediately. Just allow yourself to feel whatever
@Anonymous Thank you very much!! I am going to take as many tips from this as I can. I hope this can help me a bit better. Thank you for sharing and giving some advice to me!
@Anonymous That sounds amazing. The labels are one of things that scare me the most so I’ll try to wait it out a bit. Thank you!
@LoveyDuck I'm happy I could help! And honestly just trust in the fact that it will work out one day. I promise you it will. (even if my younger self wouldn't have believed me this either). Love comes when you expect it least 😘
Yeah same for me. But one day I just met someone that didn't even fit all the criteria I have, and I'm still happy. But don't force yourself into something because you think you "need" a partner. I spent way too much time bringing myself down because I thought I wasn't good enough without a partner or not lovable. It's not worth it spending time worrying (easier said than done)
Yes so true! We are good single or committed to someone! I will try to be open but not force myself either!
i’m so scared to get into a relationship because i think i’m a avoidant attachment… like i have a fear of losing myself and being too attached to where i won’t love myself but love them more than i love myself… like i’m thinking about the guy i like and thinking about the opportunity to be with him but something tells me i’m gonna back away because of my ocd… i wanna love myself before i get into a relationship… especially this generation of relationships get me really anxious.. it’s like i wanna be in a relationship but i also don’t because of losing myself… i wanna have confidence in myself and like the person and have a relationship with God at the same time… i think i’m doing a compulsion which isn’t good because my ocd themes keep switching
Do you ever feel like you wonder if your ocd would be less if you were with someone else? Or would it be better if you were with someone else? I’m really upset because I used to be able to enjoy myself even with the anxiety and now it’s like i am just analyzing and I don’t have feelings and I’m irritated because there’s things that frustrate me about him that I don’t like and my brain says if I was with someone else I would be able to deal with those things better and that we just aren’t right for each other. And the thoughts that used to make me anxious about breaking up don’t like it’s really me that feels it. I know no relationship is perfect but it’s like my brain keeps saying with someone else I wouldn’t feel like this or I would but I’d be able to handle it better. It feels like I have to just start fresh with someone new cause the ocd got too into this to the point where I don’t feel or even know what’s real. It feels like fear and anxiety and just being so into this has just made me feel not into this anymore but idk if I’m thinking right. It’s also just warped the way I see him like I only see the negatives and my brain keeps saying you don’t feel this cause it’s wrong. And it’s depressing bc of how happy and safe I used to feel. I’m supposed to see him soon and it’s like I want to but also don’t because I feel like things have changed unless that’s just something I made in my head and cause I don’t feel the feelings I used to. But then I think I will just be this way with someone else but then my brain says otherwise and it’s so confusing. People keep telling me not to make decisions because I’m fogged but it feels like I’m not. Like my brain is manipulating me. And also like all the things I used to like I’ve somehow turned into like distaste which is so upsetting. I would like to think this is just ocd taking control and confusing me and distorting my perspective but I’m scared it’s not and that my feelings are gone. Has anyone experienced this but it was still ocd?
My trauma has always prevented me from pursuing a romantic relationship, I’ve always been super terrified of pursuing something with someone for just about every reason I could conjure up. Now, I’ve met someone and I’ve tried so, so hard to push away all those anxieties to make it work; but I feel like the more involved I get, I become more scared and I dwell on more things that may be signs that our “relationship” should end. I keep thinking over and over that I’m not good enough for them, I might be their “target,” they’re not right for me, our feelings are not mutual, it couldn’t work out between us, my friends and family would not approve, I’m not ready for it, etc. Recently, I tried to break things off with them because they were too tall for me. I started sobbing because I was scared that I was being and awful person and I had completely screwed everything up between us. I wanna know if this sounds like ROCD ? I always had a hunch that I could have, but I had never gotten far enough into a relationship to find out. Please feel free to ask me any clarifying questions. Right now I’m probably not making much sense haha.
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