Closed my door cried in my bed now it feels as if I faked my sadness. It feels as if how I act is fake. As if my emotions are a joke and if I'm acting. So confused on my personality that it's getting me to the point if these thoughts are mine and if the only reason I haven't acted on them is because I'm holding back. It's honestly frustrating me because I don't even feel like I know myself anymore and I'm tired if having these thoughts.

I don't know why violence even exist. I wish it didn't so I wouldn't have to think of these thoughts. I want help from a professional but my parent's would never understand! It feels as if the reason I don't act on my thoughts is because I don't wanna be known as a bad person I just don't want too! Omg! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL AND HAPPY WITHOUT THESE THOUGHTS

It feels as if I'm lying to myself.

uncertainty is what’s the worst thing about ocd is, you feel like you’re making things up for yourself when you aren’t. your intrusive thoughts are trying to get in your head. i felt that way when i was diagnosed with depression. i believed i was faking it and didn’t deserve to be considered depressed