Does anyone know the difference between having homosexuality OCD and just being gay? Because I am a Christian and I really struggle with this.

The way I see it; Homosexuality OCD would be, for example, finding someone of the same sex attractive and then trying to compulsively worry and prove in your head how you are much more attracted to the opposite sex; or some compulsion of the sort. I would say just being gay would imply more profound and persistent feelings such as love, butterflies, arousal, etc... Over the years.

attraction should feel good primarily and it should feel like a ‘pull’ towards someone. if ur attraction is not making u feel good then there’s a high chance u could be mistaking anxiety for butterflies/attraction when in reality ur just anxious. this happened for me at least

I’m a Christian too. I’ve definitely had all sorts of sexual attractions over the years. Some that are obviously wrong. God blessed me with a wife three years ago, who I fell in love with in a way I never knew. My advice would be to not try to figure “what you are”. There’s temptation and there’s desire; and there’s also fear and OCD. I don’t think it is worth trying to find out the “truth” about yourself because it isn’t so clearly one thing anyways… it’s a murky mixture of different thoughts and feelings on different days. Also, I have to celebrate God and say that I’ve personally experienced God changing the focus of my sexual desires.

That is very insightful. It is something to think about. Thanks.