Why is real event OCD so hard to overcome? I’ve dealt with HOCD and POCD and had great success overcoming it. I’ve struggled so bad with real event, I guess because it was something that actually happened. Any advice?

I never read someone talk about this so I wanted to know if it applies to anyone as well. For context: I deal with ROCD and SOCD but I do identify as straight and am in a (happy) relationship with a man. What often triggers me is memories about childhood and adolescences about having the groinal toward nudity in porn or music videos. Because I can’t deny having watched other things than straight porn and experimenting with porn I simply can’t stop trying to figure out what that might have meant and if i deep down have actually a other sexual orientation than the one that I feel comfortable identifying with. I only hear people talking about random triggers but never the REAL memory of arousal to pornography and so on.

just wanted to see if others struggle with real event ocd really kicking their a**. i feel like my mind is a constant battleground of every mistake ive made and they feel so huge and life altering to me that it’s hard to continue going on in their wake. just wondering if anyone else feels this way too.

Hey everyone — I just want to say upfront that as someone who actively deals with real events OCD, most of the posts I share here are going to come straight from my personal experience. Just real & lived reality. Because I know how lonely this type of OCD can feel, and if there’s even one person out there who reads my words and feels less alone — then it’s worth sharing every piece of it. Now… let’s talk about the kind of OCD that doesn’t get enough attention. The kind that doesn’t just whisper scary things — it reminds you of real ones. Real Events OCD. This isn’t about bizarre or outta nowhere intrusive thoughts. This is the kind that takes real things you’ve done — whether it was a genuine mistake, a cringey moment, a bad decision, or even something you already made peace with — and it replays them on a loop like a horror film in your head. It’s the constant questioning: “Am I actually a good person?” “Was that actually wrong and I just didn’t realize it?” “What if I’ve hurt someone and don’t deserve to be okay?” And it’s exhausting. I’ve had moments where I can’t focus, can’t sleep, can’t breathe because my brain pulls up something from years ago and convinces me I’m evil, dangerous, unforgivable. I can be having a good day, laughing with people I love, and boom — my mind hits me with “Remember this? You should feel horrible about it forever.” Even if I’ve apologized. Even if I’ve changed. Even if I’ve done the work. Real Events OCD doesn’t care. It thrives off your guilt. It uses your conscience against you. And when you’re young — still figuring out who you are, still healing — it makes you question whether you even deserve to move forward. That’s what’s so cruel about it. It doesn’t just make you anxious. It makes you feel like you’re a danger to the people you love. That you’re secretly the villain in your own story. But let me tell you something I’ve been learning — slowly, painfully, but honestly.. You are not your past. You are not your worst mistake. And you are not the voice in your head trying to punish you forever. You’re a person with a heart. A person who cares. And that’s exactly why OCD picked this flavor to mess with you. ERP is SOO helping. So is community. But the biggest help? Giving myself permission to stop chasing reassurance and start living again. I do not have to confess, over and over, for the rest of my life. I do not have to torture myself to prove I’m good. I can grow — and growing is enough. So if you’re reading this and you know exactly what I’m talking about… I see you. I am you. Let’s keep showing up. Let’s keep living. Let’s keep healing — even when OCD tells us we don’t deserve to. You do. I do. We all do.