- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
here’s something that I’m using at the moment to help me with a real event ocd: “Getting past Real Event OCD doesn't mean convincing yourself that what you did was okay, or seeking forgiveness. It's about accepting what you did and what you've learned from it, and allowing yourself to move past it.”
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m sorry you are feeling this way. I had a similar experience, I did something to my grandmas dog when I was really young. & I think back and question why would I ever think to do that. Breatheee, you deserve to live . Feel enjoy around family and pets, you deserve it. You made a mistake, sit with the discomfort it brings, & move on from it by learning from it.
- Date posted
- 4y
Also, thanks for venting because it makes some of us feel less alone in this journey.
- Date posted
- 4y
It’s no problem. I just really needed to let it out but it seems like it helps other people too so i’m really glad.
- Date posted
- 4y
Hi! I’m really sorry that you’ve been feeling like this. I understand how difficult it can be to cope with guilt. I think I know something you can try that may be of some help. Everyone is different, but it has helped me in the past. I believe it would be really helpful if you visualized your situation in someone else (a friend, someone random, etc.), and thought about how you would feel for them. Would you forgive them? All people do many (many!) things they regret in the course of their lives. Would you want a person to feel undeserving of food and/or life if they made a mistake years ago that they feel very guilty for long after? Probably not! Treat yourself with the care and understanding you would give to someone else. Sometimes, we’re much harder on ourselves than we are other people, and it’s hard to remember that we are just as deserving of life and happiness. I know that it gets really hard sometimes. The numbness that you may be feeling at the moment is just a way of coping with the pain, and once you forgive yourself, things will start to get so much better. Just remember that you are so important and deserving of happiness. I know it’s difficult, but you might want to consider about talking about it to someone in your life (family, trusted friend, etc.) , because when you get those negative feelings out in the air, it can feel like a weight being lifted from your chest, and the thoughts no longer seem so powerful. You can always talk to me too if that seems like too much. Again, when you find yourself feeling guilty for something you’ve done, picture someone you love in the same situation, and think about if you would forgive them. If you forgive them for making the same mistake, you should forgive yourself too. I hope that this helped! Please message me if you need to talk to somebody. I’m always here. Surround yourself with the people you love, and remember that you are never alone.
- Date posted
- 4y
thanks i appreciate the advice :)
- Date posted
- 4y
@Rey ⚜️ You’re most certainly welcome:) I promise that it will get better. You can always message me if you ever need somebody to talk to
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
When I was a child 7-10, I had this wonderful dog. I loved him so much. However sometimes, I would hit him out of either anger or because I liked the way he would lick my hand to say 'sorry'. At age 13, my OCD sparked up badly. I had no idea what it was, but I would bully him. Badly. He was never hurt, but he was agitated. Then I found some kittens and saved them just after turning 14. I let them stay in my room with me for a few weeks to help them. One very early morning, however, they raged me so bad that I began hitting them nonstop. They didn't cry, nor do run away. Hell, all of my pets were never ever scared of me. They loved me for some reason. For so long I've been doing my best to help animals and adore my pets, and I've sworn to never EVER hurt an animal again. I love them so much. I remember though I would never hit them so hard to make them cry out, because I've been inflicting the way I hit them onto my arms and thighs to see how bad it hurt, and gladly, it didn't really hurt. Stung a bit, at most, but doesn't make what I did anymore okay. Do I deserve my babies anymore? Do I deserve to even live? I feel so ashamed and I don't want to use my OCD as an excuse, nor say that maybe I was traumatised because of it because people have been through worse than me, so I don't want to compare. Any small comment will do, thank you for reading
- Young adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Real Events OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Harm OCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Date posted
- 17w
This might be a bit disturbing but it’s been weighing on my mind. From all the posts I’ve made, I’ve talked about how I was influenced at a young age and saw things I shouldn’t have seen. A lot of it. I can’t remember much because it’s blurry and all muddy and in different timelines. Sometimes I genuinely don’t understand why I would do such a thing or how I could and I would constantly overanalyse things from the past. These things lead me to do things to myself out of trying to understand and curiosity and mimicking actions like kissing others in preschool. I made stupid mistakes I can’t take back and it weighs on me a lot. I don’t and can’t remember so much honestly but when I was at the age of 8, I inappropriately touched someone and it wasn’t out of harm but to understand why. What I did was wrong and the whole context of the situation is messed up but I knew to a certain degree it was wrong ( I spoke to this to my therapist who was very understanding and told me these things happen a lot when kids are young ) I remember at the time I felt guilt and realised I wanted to be a good person. I thought I was dammed for what I did and there was no coming back for me but I remember apologising to them and never doing it again. I had to keep this with me for so many years and it broke me a lot. I matured and realised my actions, spent time crying, thinking that maybe I shouldn’t be here, and was filled with a lot of shame and guilt with nobody to be there or know about this. I didn’t tell anyone because I was scared. I was scared to also be badly punished but eventually as time passed, the person passed away and nobody knew about the story. This year I began opening up and for the first time I opened up to people about this because I wasn’t doing good mentally and spent days—months ruminating, panicking, and thinking I was a monster for everything. I never thought I would but it was with people I trust who loved and accepted me. I told them the situation and how I felt. I told my therapist briefly and she told me we could continue this convo the next time and that I didn’t have to tell her everything but… It didn’t make sense to me. I felt like I needed to confess everything or else I was a fraud. I do definitely care about their justice ( justice overall ) for what happened to them regardless of them not being here and I’m beyond sorry that something like this happened to them because of my stupidity when I was younger. I try my best to be understanding and compassionate to myself but sometimes it’s all filled with hatred and shame and guilt but I’m trying. People say confessing makes things worst. I feel like this is something that needs to be confessed but Ive already admitted my actions, regrets and told others about this but yet it’s still there . I’m not an angel but I do know, these stupid past mistakes have made me more empathetic to people and not wanting things like this to happen to anyone. As I’ve grown I’ve realised how these things can distort your view of reality at a young age because now as I’m older, I understand so much more than my younger self would. Sometimes I don’t know what to say. I don’t know why I did certain things and people at my age were probably more matured and smarter than me. A lot of things happen in different timelines but I’ve matured so much and I understand my mistakes and the impact. I feel safe to talk about this to my therapist or here but to my family and others.. I don’t know what to say. I’ve made so many stupid mistakes and feel like I need to confess everything. I didn’t want to ever talk about this to anyone because I didn’t want to make things worst for people. This happened so many years back and I just didn’t want to bring the past into the present. I know that I have no right to really suggest this because that person was a victim. I don’t know what I should do. Confess? Or let it be in the past? I mean my therapist and close friends know about this.
- Date posted
- 16w
I genuinely feel like the worlds most horrible person deeply for my past actions in childhood and general mistakes I’ve made. I feel like I shouldn’t be here or there’s no hope for me despite doing right ( trying to do right ) I’ve wanted to open up to my mom about things from my past but when I was talking to her about a situation that happened just to share, she was like “Thank God you’ve never done anything like that” But really my past mistakes are worst. It’s like I feel like I should disappear. I don’t know how to deal with the guilt and I feel horrible. I’ve made good and bad decisions but despite this being a long time ago ( which doesn’t erase my stupid actions ) I still keep bringing back into the present and I’m filled with guilt I genuinely think it would be better if I wasn’t here. I wake up think about my past things and I’m filled with guilt and shame that maybe I am a bad person and voices don’t stop, they keep telling me a lot of things that I start to believe. It makes me upset that I did something like that in my past and I try to be understanding but I can imagine the reactions of people and being condemned so much. I literally do this to myself every single day and it’s exhausting I don’t know how you guys can treat me with so much compassion and understanding. It really doesn’t feel real or like I deserve it. Like even on nocd, it makes me feel worst because I come across comments that say “as long as it’s not —-“ or something and I compare it to my past and I feel like a horrible unacceptable person.
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