im super scared right now i think im start to be delusional. i had this thought and it won't get out of my head "your sister wants to kill you" and i can't tell if i believe it or not i don't believe it because it's just simply not true there's no logic behind it but why do my emotions just feel like i believe i believe it. this is my biggest fear what is going on i don't believe it. it's so not true idk what to do right now

thank you, it's just so hard to not ruminate on it it feels like i have to tell myself in my head or tell myself out loud that i don't believe it because if i don't react to the thoughts, that means i think i believe them:/ and then it feels like i'm actually paranoid when i'm really not so then i move closer to my sister so i can prove to myself i'm not delusional. this feels like hell

@b I totally understand, I have been obsessing about schizophrenia for more than 2 years now, and that would manifest in ruminating, checking to see if I'm hallucinating and recently these types of thoughts, I would get thoughts like "What if my mum poisoned my food?" and I would feel so terrified because it felt like I genuinely considered these thoughts to be true and I would excessively eat her cooking to "prove" I don't believe these thoughts, but that only made them stronger. and every few days a new thought would pop up, it was utter hell. As I got distracted by exams and other obsessions, I noticed that the thoughts went away, and it became very clear to me that they stuck because I know that schizophrenics usually have these kind of thoughts, and I myself am afraid of developing the disease. They still come back every now and then, currently it's "What if I think my family wants to sabotage my career?" and it's difficult I knowww; I also get the urge to ruminate and prove to myself I don't believe it but it gets easier I promise :) I can function wayyy better than when I first got these thoughts.

@woeisme yessss yes they're so distressing because why does it feel like i believe them but i don't???? it's so relieving knowing someone else relates. it's so difficult to deal. but i'm glad you found a way to cope with these thoughts:)

@b this is happening to me right now, if you’re still on this app how do you deal with it? for me my thought it’s ‘your boyfriend is related to you’ and i don’t know if i believe it or not. i know he’s not related to me, but the thought still disgusts me everytime i have it, im scared ive really started to believe he’s related to me even though i know he’s not

thank you so much for the replies this helps a lot:)