I’m so scared

Yes :( I’m just so scared and alone. I’ve been struggling with pocd for almost 3 weeks now and it’s so hard, and my whole life got ruined in only 3 weeks. I keep having intrusive thoughts and my mind keeps trying to convince myself that I’m a p. At first I was able to deal with it and I knew it was just my mind but it keeps getting worse and worse and now it’s so scary and so bad that I can’t even tell any more. I don’t even know if it’s ocd, maybe I’m just a p. And that makes me so scared and helpless because I really really really really really don’t want to be that and I feel like my whole life will be ruined and I don’t even know who I am anymore and it’s really scary. I just want to die. And I keep getting groinal responses and I’m so scared if it’s real attraction. I feel so alone because I feel like no one understands and I can’t get help because I’m a minor and I don’t want to tell my parents because I don’t want them to see me differently :/ Every day is so hard, dealing with the intrusive thoughts, groinal responses, depression, not feeling real, losing myself, losing hope and especially living with the debilitating fear that I might be a ped0. Every time I feel happy it just goes away and my mind just tells me “what if I’m faking it” or that I should’nt even be happy because I’m a disgusting person. I just really miss the person who I was, I was so happy before this all happened but now I’m the least happiest I’ve ever been. And the thought that I might never feel normal or happy again really scares me and I’m scared that I’ll keep getting these thoughts and will no longer be able to distinguish if they’re or not.

@random_person Hey love. The exact same thing is happening with me but I’ve been dealing with it for 3 months. The groinals are horrible. :(( wanna talk?

@random_person Don’t hurt yourself nor beat yourself up internally. Your main fear is beautiful. You’re so caring that you care about not harming children. You’re so amazing that you actually care about things that need to be care about. Stay strong and accept the uncertainty. Accept the fact groinal responses happen and that it doesn’t mean anything. Treat it like an intrusive thought, accept the unknown and push forward. Be kind to yourself and don’t die. My heart will hurt if you die, I wish I could give you a hug and tell you everything will be alright. And I will, everything will be ok. Our light and momentary troubles mean nothing in the long span of life, and one day you will be better. I truly with my whole heart love you so freaking much. I literally have no idea what you look like or the quirks that make you, you but I’m so serious when I say I love you and I have compassion on you. You don’t deserve depression nor OCD. What you deserve is love. Don’t let the world convince you that you don’t deserve happiness or love or anything good. You deserve everything handed to you. I pray that you get better. Deep down inside, I know you’re still the same person. I love you ok? ❤️

@ttheafterprty Thank you so so so so so much. I appreciate you so much❤️ you’re an amazing person and the same goes to you, I love you and I hope that you get better soon❤️

@Janice:) ❤️❤️❤️

I hope you’re ok <3