I hate that I can’t watch my comfort movies anymore. I used to love the parent trap, stand by me and home alone and they were my ultimate comfort movies but not anymore :/

I miss when I wasn't ruminating 24/7, waking up with horrible anxiety or spending all day doing compulsions. Even when I try so hard to resist them I just end up in a spiral. I miss when I was comfortable in my nonbinary identity and didn't have TOCD and now everything feels wrong and conflicting. I miss when I wasn't depressed and disabled. I know I can never get that person back. I haven't seen that person since high school. Ive spent years with this disorder and i havent gotten better despite therapy and meds. I don't know if I'll ever be happy again.

I used to never have these thoughts it feels like im a different person and im so sad . I watched a TikTok of a girl with her kid and my Brain says how has she not killed her kid yet like wtf cus I get so many thoughts I’m shocked other ppl don’t and now my Brian says how I have I not hurt my dad . I keep posting and I shouldn’t but I feel not normal

I hate how ocd targets everything I love to do. Walking, excercising, gym… I used to love those things. It was my therapy. It were the things I could escape my thinking. Now those are the things i get stuck in my head. Why? It makes me sad. Sorry not so positive today.