How do I deal with intrusive thoughts that jinx somthing? I want to stop believing in jinxing but every time I try and fight it it seems to prove it even more.

Hi everyone sometimes when I try to do something or do something my ocd tells me if I post a certain things or wear certain clothes that that some people in my life won't talk to me or distance themselves away from And I know it's sound crazy, but I feel like it's real what should I do I don't know how to fight it or stop I've been like this since I was 13 I went to therapy and iam taking my medicine but still those thoughts won't stop I don't know how to deal with it

Anyone else have repeated thoughts that play that are negative. Basically a back and forth of you telling yourself you don't want X to happen but having a thought that slips saying you do. Like being stressed out one day and saying "man I wish I were dead". But instead of letting it roll through your mind and thinking nothing of it, you obsess if you actually want that outcome for yourself and you are now scared you'd fatally harm yourself whenever you feel anxious or stressed even though you know you wouldn't. So now I repeatedly get I wanna die stuck in my head and I feel the compulsive need to say no I don't to combat the thoughts and it happens throughout the day and even when I wake up.

Ive been struggling with the fear that if i am suicidal or something and ive been having like fears or intrusive thoughts of jumping off or losing control and acting on these thoughts and i dont know if this is just some very bad case of anxiety? Im always thinking about it trying to prove it wrong in my head and its gotten to a point where its effecting my sleep, i use chat gpt. I know deep down i dont wanna do any of it, i mean the very thought makes me panic quick so idk i just want to forget all these thoughts and i was wondering if anyone goes through this as well?