Does anyone else struggle with False Memory OCD when they drink?

Yah I’ve blacked out a few times recently and I feel horrible because I can’t guarantee that I didn’t do something unloyal to my boyfriend. I’ve been confessing to him every time that I can’t promise I didn’t cheat basically and it hurts us idk what to do

I’ve blacked out a few times recently and I feel horrible because I can’t guarantee that I didn’t do something unloyal to my boyfriend. I’ve been confessing to him every time that I can’t promise I didn’t cheat basically and it hurts us and idk what to do. I decided drinking is not good for me right now since I can’t control it, but still I can’t remember everything so I find myself asking around if anyone saw me do anything. It’s exhausting and I’m so tired of this

@princessem Yeah I feel that!! Try to resist the compulsions to ask around and retrace your steps, ultimately it’s not helpful for you or your relationship. Just sit with not knowing

@annano Ok but how do I justify not asking around if I could’ve cheated or something and not known it? That’s where I can’t handle it

@princessem Becasue you’re acknowledging that your ocd is causing this panic, the only approach is to not feed the ocd and sit with the fact that you may or may not have cheated or done something wrong. Move forward in your life without reaching a conclusion and see that you can navigate life and your relationship in the midst of potentially devastating news