- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 3y
Yah I’ve blacked out a few times recently and I feel horrible because I can’t guarantee that I didn’t do something unloyal to my boyfriend. I’ve been confessing to him every time that I can’t promise I didn’t cheat basically and it hurts us idk what to do
- Date posted
- 3y
yes omg
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes! Almost every time I drink. I feel the same as blueplanet in that I have memory issues in general. I feel like I have to remember every detail of everything or I could have missed something bad. It’s just ocd but it’s hard. Can’t give into the ruminating and replaying.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ve blacked out a few times recently and I feel horrible because I can’t guarantee that I didn’t do something unloyal to my boyfriend. I’ve been confessing to him every time that I can’t promise I didn’t cheat basically and it hurts us and idk what to do. I decided drinking is not good for me right now since I can’t control it, but still I can’t remember everything so I find myself asking around if anyone saw me do anything. It’s exhausting and I’m so tired of this
- Date posted
- 3y
@princessem Yeah I feel that!! Try to resist the compulsions to ask around and retrace your steps, ultimately it’s not helpful for you or your relationship. Just sit with not knowing
- Date posted
- 3y
@annano Ok but how do I justify not asking around if I could’ve cheated or something and not known it? That’s where I can’t handle it
- Date posted
- 3y
@princessem Becasue you’re acknowledging that your ocd is causing this panic, the only approach is to not feed the ocd and sit with the fact that you may or may not have cheated or done something wrong. Move forward in your life without reaching a conclusion and see that you can navigate life and your relationship in the midst of potentially devastating news
- Date posted
- 3y
Seemingly* devastating news
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I’m having the need to confess that I was unfaithful to my girlfriend (even though I was not) because I drank too much Saturday night and don’t remember every single second from my evening. My OCD immediately goes to that I cheated on my girlfriend and I need to confess my sins. I know it’s only OCD, but the thoughts are extremely strong. Any suggestions? Thank you, community.
- Date posted
- 18w
im going to be vague here, but basically i did something in the past that i regret and it became a huge point of my OCD but i have talked to my therapist and i have mostly moved past it. i watched a video by an OCD youtuber that really put it into perspective. anyway, i have been with minimal worry for a few days, but now im having worries related to i think false memory? basically it’s like “oh but what if i said/ did this and just forgot that means i harmed this person im a bad person”. to me it sounds like textbook OCD but im just wondering if anyone else has experienced false memory / real event at the same time. i have a really horrible memory which is making it even more stressful. any responses are appreciated!
- Date posted
- 16w
Hello all, I’ve dealt with various OCD themes and compulsions for pretty much as long as I can remember. In some periods of my life the thoughts and compulsions have been particularly severe, but I’ve also had years where I’m able to keep it under control. This has made me worry I don’t actually have OCD, especially because I haven’t been doing consistent therapy and my therapists have gone back and forth on whether I have OCD. In the past few years, I’ve struggled immensely with false memory ocd, and right now I’m going through probably the most severe episode of my life. I love my boyfriend with all my heart. A few times that I’ve gone out drinking I’ve had the thought before “what if I lost control and cheated tonight” and it’s bothered me severely. Two times before, it’s gotten to the point of convincing myself that because I talked to a man that meant I had cheated on my boyfriend and just couldn’t remember. It has never turned out to be true. About a month ago, I went out with friends and had too much to drink. I was really ashamed of myself the next morning, particularly because I always try to drink cautiously now that I know it can trigger my anxiety. I am ashamed to admit I do not remember the very end of the night getting in my uber and going home. I woke up anxious and extremely worried and immediately started off by worrying if I could have tried to kiss my friend and not remembered. I called him and was immediately reassured nothing had happened, I simply drank too much and went home at the end of the night. I started feeling better, but then remembered a moment I had been in the bathroom. I remembered chatting with people in line about how long the line was, and then being in the bathroom on my phone. I then felt like I remembered people knocking and saying to myself “that wasn’t that long” and leaving. There is nothing concrete that I remember that in any way indicates I cheated, and in fact I have texts with my boyfriend from the whole night telling him I loved him. My friend told me that the only time I was ever apart from him was about 5 minutes and that when he came back I was in the same exact spot he left me in. However, when I remembered being in the bathroom, I thought to myself “what if you cheated on him in the bathroom”/ “oh my god did you cheat on him in the bathroom” and then a series of images of me performing sexual acts popped into my head. I’ve poured over my memory and truly do not remember meeting anyone, talking to anyone, or even finding anyone attractive that night, but the fact that I was drinking makes me worried I’m just forgetting and these images could be real. I’ve been constantly ruminating on these fears for the past month, to the point that the only relief I feel is when I’m able to fall asleep. I’m a law student and it’s becoming extremely difficult to keep up with my classes. I’ve been google searching, asked chat gpt for advice, confessed my fears to my boyfriend, asked for reassurance from pretty much everyone in my life, and even emailed the bar asking for security footage (which I know all sounds insane). I’m a naturally guilty person and feel bad about small things, so I really don’t think I would be capable of cheating and then nonchalantly texting my boyfriend, but these images feel so real that it’s terrifying. I’ve also seen a lot about how I would “just know” and that begins to scare me because then I think “you do just know, you did it” even though I really don’t think I did. I know these posts are not supposed to be for reassurance seeking, I’m just so exhausted and feeling really depressed. I’m wondering if anyone has experienced something similar and has any advice. I’m also wondering if images can feel more real the more you ruminate on them or if it’s a sign of memory. Thank you so much for listening.
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