I just remembered the first time I saw like the world or started seeing I don't know how to explain it but I guess my first memory or something? I was like 4 and we were having a party for my birthday and I just remember being there and remembering.

Same theme of harming my family member in a similar way the details what I said and what was shown to them and the environment around me but that’s all I can get it’s hard to focus on the environment only what I said and what I did. This memory keeps coming up and leaving its instant. They seem to be ok the one in question I also don’t have a timeline if I harmed them no timeline like I did it this time or I don’t remember. I don’t rmemenr actually ever doing this. I felt like a creep because this woman days ago made me feel like one I internalized that and now my mind has been picking up thoughts or “memories” of harming my family member but I can’t ever rmemenr doing anything like that plus the dream or “memory” when I had it was in another state years ago but it only came up now.

One of my first memories of OCD was from when I was about 8-12 years old. I’ve always struggled with sleeping and prone to twisting and turning due to my brain going like 🧠 🗣️🗣️🗣️ Anyways once I couldn’t sleep and got out of bed one of my parents said, with compassion, ”oh it’s so late, why are you awake it’s school tomorrow” and when they followed me to my room I saw that the time was 22:22 and I felt a really scary feeling in my chest (today I know it was anxiety) and from that day on the time 22:22 🕰️ followed me for years. I was twisting and turning and feeling anxious about my digital clock (I’m a 90s girly) turning 22:22. I could get issues taking deep breaths, being sweaty, uncomfortable and scared and feeling like ”ITS SOON 22:22 AND WHEN THE TIME PASSES IT WILL BE TOO LATE”. I never really understood exactly what was going to be ”too late” but I’m guessing it was getting too little sleep absolutely blown out of proportion. As soon it passed 22:22 it was all good and I could fall asleep 😴 I don’t struggle with those numbers today instead I smile and feel compassionate towards little me. Still OCD sucks, I still struggle with sleep times to times and do have some magical thinking but the big difference is that I logically know that it’s not real even if it emotionally sometimes feel that way. Take care out there. If this made you feel less lonely, wanna share your first memories of OCD? ❤️

Idk how to caption it other than that. My whole life I’ve had an issue with memory hoarding and the upside has been that I have a really vivid memories of my childhood and I get to remember my best days, the main downside has always been I have a lot of childhood trauma too and I remember every detail meticulously like I can relive and reanalyze them which has caused issues in my healing. However as much pain as it is to remember bad things so well it’s always been a bit of a comfort bc at least I know for sure even if other people don’t know or don’t believe. But as of lately I I’ve been forgetting things, whether it’s what time I’m supposed to work (and I have compulsions when checking my work schedule bc I’m always scared of reading it wrong so I usually open it up read it close it and open it up again 2-3 times so I usually KNOW) or what day it is, or just small things that I don’t remember saying or doing that other people swear on. I just have always felt like I know at the very least I know and lately I don’t and I’m so scared of going crazy and losing myself like literally my biggest fear. So I hate this. Today is Friday I was convinced yesterday was Friday and I woke up today for my Saturday shift completely convinced today was Saturday. I hate being wrong and making those small mistakes because it’s terrifying to think about what else I’m remembering wrong, or what else do I not “know” that isn’t actually the truth? I’m just so scared of losing myself mind. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this?