My intrusive thoughts come more as what if’s and “but you are” and stuff like that. Does that still count? :(

I don’t know how to explain this so I’ll do it to the best of my ability. Does anyone experience “co-intrusive” thoughts that try to negatively support the initial intrusive thought? Example: Me: “Thank God I never acted on (scary intrusive thought) & I’m getting better!” Intrusive thought: “What a shame you didn’t” These types of things send me into a spiral. It makes me think that it could lead to a desire instead of staying a fear. Like an intrusive disappointment that I didn’t follow through with the thought? It’s been a long fear/obsession & I think my OCD is trying to trick me that the only satisfaction would be to act on the thought. (I know that’s bs) But IS that why it sends me the negative co-intrusive thoughts? That’s the only explanation that makes sense. Then I wonder is it something else? Am I a grenade waiting to explode??? I simply cannot relax in any moment because I think what’s the use if I’m just going to (xyz) one day?

Is it okay to use "I am" statements when intrusive thoughts come up? I'm afraid of telling myself the wrong things and it becoming a compulsion. If anyone has advice, I'd appreciate it! 🤍

for me, it's like there's two folders of my thoughts, 'main thoughts' and 'sub thoughts' and it's like a background voice of my background voice, you know? like so quiet and irrelevant but it's still here and i can try to ignore it but not fully and it feels like it's just really nasty, like it's warring with me, never shuts up and just keeps nagging me with those thoughts