I feel like I can't do this anymore. It's stronger again.

My OCD has never been this strong, it's so real, it feels like it will never go away, it's never been this strong for me and it's very scary.

TW I’m feeling really bad about myself today. I feel like a fraud and a liar. I’ve been unable to enjoy my time with my girlfriend because I’m bombarded with my thoughts. I’ve been asking for reassurance from so many people and nothing is helping. Nothing makes me feel better anymore and I’m worried that this is just how it’s going to be for forever. I miss when I could just be happy and not overthink so much. I miss being able to get through my days without this crippling anxiety. I’m worried there’s going to be a day where I realize I have no fight left in me

I’m struggling so bad. I actually started getting better but now my thoughts are back. I feel like I can’t do anything, watch a movie “oh you’re turned on by that”, go out shopping “oh you’re trying to look pretty for her”. Like what???? My brain just won’t stop!!!!!! It’s making me so depressed, I just feel like I’m about to lose it. I’m happily married, and absolutely in love with my husband. But my brain keeps saying “you’re gay! You’re bi” whatever. I’m so tired guys, I feel so alone, and this has been going on for months…